no

have you ever had a bird poop on you

No.
Have you ever eaten dirt for no reason?

Sadly, yes.

Have you ever had high hopes you were getting a job, and told everyone you got it only to find out later you didn't get it because you're not old enough?

Fortunately, no.
Have you ever ditched someone to do something you thought would be more fun with someone else?

no

have you ever blew up your microwave before?

Yeah.
Have you ever made batter for cookies in your garage, then left it there in hopes of it becoming rancid, and then after a week ate the dough to make yourself sick for fun?

No, my friends aren't stronger than me.

Have you ever taken out a soda but not consumed it before it went flat, and then wasted a can of soda?

no
have you ever had your friend punch you as hard as they can in your arm and then they punched your sholder out of socket?

Not to get people to look at me. I've done it as a joke. (Ah, how marvelous the world would be if it was like a musical.)

Have you ever wondered how the world would be if life was like a musical?

Yes I have swallowed mouthwash accidentally and stings like mad.

Have you ever randomly started singing in the middle of a public place, to get people to look at you?

I'm usually not dressed in real clothes when I brush my teeth. That's a pajama activity.

And oh, missblake, I actually found someone from an actress's forum on here back in July. It was neat.

Have you ever accidentally swallowed mouthwash?

Actually yes. I thought it was lipstick and I ended up not realizing it until the last second and had to wipe it off.

Have you ever squeezed a tube of toothpaste and had it squirt all over your new clothes?

Yes.
Have you ever worn concealer as lipgloss?

Yes

Have you ever jumped in a lake and then realized it was freezing cold and it shocked you?

No. I don't get phone bills.
Have you ever "met" someone on a website, and then like hung out with them on a different website, and then saw them on the first website, and though "Whoa! I didn't know they were on this site!" and then realized....
(This has never happened to me, I'm just curious.)