It isn't flaunting so much that bothers me but that people have a tendency, regardless of their sexual orientation, to blow the whole thing entirely out of proportion.

On the one side, we have people acting like homosexuality is the end of the world.

On the other side, we have people who actually think their sexuality makes them who they are as opposed to what they are, prefer to associate with other lgbt kids on the principal of sexuality alone, and feel a need to broadcast their orientation.

Once again, the above is just an observation I'm making from what I've seen around me. Obviously a lot of you are going to disagree.

What really irritates me is that, probably due in part to this "broadcasting", the expectation is for lgbt people to go through this whole "coming out" process. In other words, you are expected to go through a period of being closeted, and then suddenly run around "flaunting".
Try applying that to other differences that have not been blown out of proportion.

1 - "Hmmmm...I think I'm gonna swing by the store after school and pick up some soy bacon."
2 - "Soy? I didn't know you were vegetarian."
1 - "I'm not, I just don't eat pork."
2 - (sharp intake of breath) "...............are you hinting that....(whispered voice)...you're Jewish?"
1 - "Huh? Oh...umm...hinting isn't the word I would use."
2 - "Why did you lie to me all these years?"
1 - "What are you talking about?"
2 - "You never told me! How long have you been trying to?"
1 - "Trying to what? Tell you I'm Jewish? You never asked me."
2 - "I'm going to have to think about how I feel about this....."

Yeah, argument by analogy is weak.

But the closeted/out dichotomy really gets on my nerves. Obviously it does apply to some people, espeically those who live in intolerant areas, but I feel as if one cannot just be inadvertantly gay. There has to be some process associated with it.

I don't see really what people's problem with flaunting it is... i mean I don't becuz it'll only bring be grief becuz i'm also fat, but i think that if someone wants to bring that upon themselves, let them do it...

I agree, and would like to add that starting out on a defensive stance will also screw you up.

Note: If anything here is redundent/irrelevent, my apologies. I only read this thing a few posts back.

Also note: All of this is from my own experience and therefore subjective.

Example : One may feel threatened when discussing sexuality with someone who is (to use a relevent example) a staunch Christian. Though this person may on principal believe that there is a universal a priori taboo on homosexuality, if one keeps the exchange as calm as possible, they may eventually reveal that, on an individual level, sexuality does not matter to them. In keeping with the beliefs of a religious institution that they highly value, many religious people (or members of other analogous thinking systems) express beliefs that they don't truly agree with. However, when someone feels they are being attacked, they are likely to defend the whole of their belief system, including the parts they are unsure about. Though of course this isn't true for all people and for all situations, starting out with an open, sedate attitude is likely to lead to mutual acceptence.

The whole "flaunting it" thing. . . I wouldn't, because I feel that throwing something like homosexuality out in the open is just askig for a label or a stereotype to be pushed upon you. (There's the time and the place for it. Throwing it out every once in a while for gay rights is one thing, but constantly and just to tick straight, stodgy, conservatives of is another.)

There's more to a person than their sexualiy, and people aren't going to be able to see past your sexuality to the real you if you just let your sexuality define you. You're not your sexuality, your sexuality is a part of you. You have to have confidence in yourself, because if you don't, people won't really respect you so much, in my humble opinion.

So, I guess all I'm saying is I don't think flaunting it is such a brilliant idea, unless you have a reason behind it. Randomly flaunting only does to hurt the gay rights movement and put a larger barrier between the so called "gay society" and "straight society". So, I guess if it makes you happy, go for it, but keep in mind that it might not really help the rest of the sexual minorities out there.

And aaathreat, I'm not directing this at you. I think you're pretty cool. It's just my opinion on the general subject.

I'll back you up on that, LTR.

Whoa. Is there something wrong with your caps lock?


I don’t like the idea of these ‘boxes’. You get them just to put out in the open? Come on. All that’s going to get you is beat up. It just makes me sick when people flaunt it.

WHAT?! I don't HAVE one...but, they're really quite cool ideas...is there something WRONG with having a box?

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boxes from Hot Topic that say "I'm not straight" (they're really cute lil' boxes they have mints in em' and you're sposed to set them to the side of wherever you're sitting! really cute idea...)

Its people like you who drive me crazy.

Dang i was off...

quote:

Originally posted by BlackPen:

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b) to change your life-style and make it a bigger part of your life and re-discover who you are.

I don't understand what you mean by this.

like, are you going to be discreet about it or are you going to shout it out from the world and let people know? tye-dye t-shirts? boxes from Hot Topic that say "I'm not straight" (they're really cute lil' boxes they have mints in em' and you're sposed to set them to the side of wherever you're sitting! really cute idea...) ya' know?

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it is up to homosexuals to maintain a certain level of discipline and discreetness when conducting their affairs, as there are some whom it shall offend

Who said that? My favourite quote from a good movie: It is better to ask forgiveness than permission. The quote might not be historically correct, but a very wise man said that.

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to change your life-style and make it a bigger part of your life and re-discover who you are.

Rediscover? I'll give you a quote, too. Don't hear it, listen. "Names are names. They exist. People find them out, but they don't change them. They can't." Names are, like who a person is. You can discover it, but you can't change your nature like *snaps* that. And "that" is in twenty years, fourty years, it's all a short time. Over a soul's journey, maybe it could change. Maybe not. Depends on the individual.

I think aaathreat means that (correct me on this if i'm wrong) if you aren't gonna accept that your gay, you can do everything, and probably fail, to try and change your feelings for the same sex, but it doesn't work.

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b) to change your life-style and make it a bigger part of your life and re-discover who you are.

I don't understand what you mean by this.

well but, you do have a choice you have two choices

a) to accept that you're gay, and come out
b) to change your life-style and make it a bigger part of your life and re-discover who you are.

it definitely changed my life when i came outta the closet...i know i've said this before and i'll say it again, i think you're born gay, but i think it's a matter of discovering it and accepting it. cuz' i know for a while i just kind of neglected it.

I hate when people say that it is a choice. Most of the time its from people who don't even KNOW anyone who is gay. What gives you guys the right to decide?

I'm not religious but it is just an argument against the whole "it's against god to be gay" argument. And some people flaunt it, but some don't, actually alot don't. And even tho i am really into tolerance, i think that the people who purposely flaunt it deserve some of the shit they get.

quote:

it is up to homosexuals to maintain a certain level of discipline and discreetness when conducting their affairs, as there are some whom it shall offend,

There are some people who are offended just KNOWING I am gay. I am not going to pretend I am not just to make them comfortable. On the other hand I am also not going to flaunt it in front of them. I will respect their beliefs but I am not going to repress mine to keep them happy.

Hear, hear!

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My argurment to the whole god argument against homosexuality is that if some of us weren't meant to be homosexual, then why are we? God created us all and he obviousily created us this way, it isn't a choice it's what... hmm... how to put it... i guess it's just the way we are.

Another argument in the favour of athiesm.

If go does exist, and he created gays, he also created murderers and rapists, he created famine, disease, exploitation...

The underlining fact is all of these things are benign and occurant in a godless world in which morality isn't derived from some great source, that is a great insult to those like me who happens to take great pride in my morality, which is derived from no such ficticous myth as god, but from decency and understanding.

Homosexuality to the godless is much the same as it is to those with a god, to both it seems unnatural, and anybody who disagrees has a lot to learn about genetics and life, even a homosexual must realise it isn't normal. Of course this doesn't mean it is wrong, societies own morality will judge that and it is up to homosexuals to maintain a certain level of discipline and discreetness when conducting their affairs, as there are some whom it shall offend, just as there are those offended by naturists.

Homosexuals have to realise they are not fully accepted in any society and they should show their critics as much respect as they would wish to be shown.

Thanks