My ex is only 20 and will be 21 in October. I can't believe he's rushing into it. It's upsetting but I hope that he's happy.

I totally agree with everything you said. Getting married young isn't a good idea. You're going to wonder later what you're missing out on and there is always financial problems that could arise from being so young and not yet having a decent paying job.

Hmmm...it's been about five months since I posted that first response and it will be eight months with that same boyfriend tomorrow. I wonder if I thought we'd make it this far then. Probably so.

On the topic of why marriage is important me: I have already said that I just want to do it and that still stands.

I mean, is that a good enough reason? Can't a person just want to get married?

How old is he? I have a 24 year old cousin who is marrying a girl he met 3 months ago, solely because he feels he needs to "settle down" even if he still hasn't even reached the first quarter of his life, nor finished college.

In any case, those are the people that end up in the divorce pile. Getting married young usually leads to regret and feelings that "What if...?". This leads to problems. Problems lead to divorce.

I just found out last night that my ex boyfriend is getting married in 2 months. Odd, considering the fact that we just broke up less than a month ago. I wonder why do people rush into such serious things? We all want to be happy and find the right one to be happy with but rushing it isn't going to make it better. We should take our time to make sure that they are the one that we can't live without.

No one should be questioning or judging your faith, hubb. I believe in God. I'm glad you do too. But what you have to understand is that many people don't. It is no more fair for you to say that gays shouldn't get married because your God is against it (which I dont believe He is) than it is fair for them to say that you shouldn't be Christian. Both are imposing religious views. However, it is clearly defined in the Constitution that this country is not, by any means, a theocracy. Therefore, we must rule without God looking over our shoulder, doing what is best for the country. You may think that "best" is what God says, but again, Christianity is just one religion in a populace of many.

Gay marriage should NEVER have been a religious subject. It has and always will be a matter of civil rights.

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Originally posted by bluedemocrat:

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There is one God.

Honestly, how do you know? Yes, you have the bible. But who is to say that the ancient greeks were not correct in beliving in multiple gods? What about Druids or other polytheists?

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And though atheists can have happy marriages, there is something missing if God isn't in the marriage.

I'm sorry but you can't prove this to me in any way, shape, or form. God is necesary for some people, but not for others. Some people don't believe in god and therefore have fulfilling marriages without it.

I know, because I've actually taken the time to ask God, in faith for confirmation of it. You say that you seek it out by asking man (aka science) but I've sought it out by asking God.

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Originally posted by QueenOfHell:

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There is one God. And though atheists can have happy marriages, there is something missing if God isn't in the marriage.

How do you know there's one god? YOU believe there's one god. Not everyone else.

God is not necessary to live happily with nothing 'missing'. There's something missing if they don't love eachother.

I KNOW that there is one God. I cannot prove to you with your world-centered mind, but I can prove it to myself. THERE IS ONLY ONE GOD!!

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There is one God. And though atheists can have happy marriages, there is something missing if God isn't in the marriage.

How do you know there's one god? YOU believe there's one god. Not everyone else.

God is not necessary to live happily with nothing 'missing'. There's something missing if they don't love eachother.

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There is one God.

Honestly, how do you know? Yes, you have the bible. But who is to say that the ancient greeks were not correct in beliving in multiple gods? What about Druids or other polytheists?

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And though atheists can have happy marriages, there is something missing if God isn't in the marriage.

I'm sorry but you can't prove this to me in any way, shape, or form. God is necesary for some people, but not for others. Some people don't believe in god and therefore have fulfilling marriages without it.

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Originally posted by bluedemocrat:

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In my religion, marriage is a three-way promise. Between the husband, the wife and God. If any of the corners of the triangle are removed, the triangle collapses.

My parents are atheists. They have been married for over twenty years. They have three children and lead happy lives. For some people marriage is about a relationship with god. Obviously, it is for you. However, you can't define marriage for every person. Like a perception of god, marriage is unique for everyone.

But perception of God isn't unique. There is one God. And though atheists can have happy marriages, there is something missing if God isn't in the marriage.

I know plenty of people who have not gotten married and they are very reasonable people. My parents didn't marry as soon as they started living together, it was a year or two later, I think, and there's nothing wrong with me.

I think I will probably eventually get married. Of course the social and economical benefits are pleasing, but I think marriage is too binding. It seems like it is tying you down to a- I don't know -typical American life. So, yea, marriage is a good thing but only when your ready.

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In my religion, marriage is a three-way promise. Between the husband, the wife and God. If any of the corners of the triangle are removed, the triangle collapses.

My parents are atheists. They have been married for over twenty years. They have three children and lead happy lives. For some people marriage is about a relationship with god. Obviously, it is for you. However, you can't define marriage for every person. Like a perception of god, marriage is unique for everyone.

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Originally posted by CelticNewAger:

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Oh please jamaica, you're sinking really low on this thread

Don't write to her, you'll bring her back. Trust me, that is like exploding an atom bomb inside your house

Eh, good point....too late now. Better run for it.

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Oh please jamaica, you're sinking really low on this thread

Don't write to her, you'll bring her back. Trust me, that is like exploding an atom bomb inside your house

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without it, life on earth would just be full of affairs from one lover to the next since you ahve no obligation whatsoever to the other person whom you are currently living with.

Oh please jamaica, you're sinking really low on this thread. I know several couples who never had a ceremony or anything and they are happier and more faithful to eachother than a lot of married couples I know. As for no obligation, what about all the people who cheat on the person they're married to? Just because a couple has or doesn't have a piece of paper saying they are/aren't married doesn't really make a difference.

That said I personally am planning to get married when/if I find the right guy. Besides all the legal benefits it just seems...I dunno, right I guess to get married to the guy that I love. Of course I'm an atheist so it would be outside or something...

Hey, do yall know that in Alaska anyone (practically) can legaly marry one couple? My grandpa married my parents...I think that's cool personally. Yeah that was off topic....sorry.

I believe that marriage is sacred. (I promise, I'll keep my anti-homosexual thoughts to myself, as that isn't the topic, and the topic starter specifically asked that we not go there).

In my religion, marriage is a three-way promise. Between the husband, the wife and God. If any of the corners of the triangle are removed, the triangle collapses. So, in order for a marriage to be successful, the husband needs to love the wife and God, the wife needs to love the husband and God, and God automatically loves the husband and the wife.

I'll find some statistics if you'd like, but it has been proven that marriages that are religiously started and kept are more successful than civil marriages.

I'm planning on getting married. Why? Because in my religion, one cannot obtain the highest degree of glory in heaven unless you are sealed to a spouse. I'll find the guy. I'm fourteen, I don't need to find him now, but I'll find him eventually.

I'm getting married because I love my fiancee. It's very little to do with the church in fact. It's more a statement to the world and most importantly our families. I want our families to be joined together and have something more in common, and our children (when they come along) to have a strong family that they know they can count on to always be there, like my parents and my fiancee's, and theirs, etc.
The "sanctity" of marriage just means take it seriously, or none of this applies. You have to be prepared to put work into something like this. If you want to bring children into the world, you need a strong family, and that means having a mother and father that are together. I know this won't be a popular thing to say because it's not the norm these days, but for those of you who it ISN'T the case for, how much and how often do you wish it was?
I'm not anti-gay, or even anti gay-marriage, but it seems a little pointless. However, if you just want to sleep with someone, don't marry them, just shag them until you inevitably get bored of them. When you find someone you love, the sex doesn't matter, but boy is it good when you find that. I guess that's what everyone's trying to find a piece of. Well here's some advice, stop looking, stop trying, just live your life and it will come, I promise.

Thanks for the responses, guys. You've given me a lot to think about.

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Originally posted by Ohiosweetgirl:
Celebrities think that because they have money to throw around they can just marry whomever seems ok first. It seems to me that they often think " Oh it's ok, I'll marry this person, If it doesnt work out I can always just get a divorce."

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This is another topic entirely, but I honestly believe that if our society stopped gasping in collective mortified awe every time a pair of celebrities married and divorced 55 hours later, they'd stop doing it.

I haven't read this in a while and think that it was a good revival. This is actually a really good topic. Marriage does do alot for a couple such as give them rights and so on. But what is a marriage if the people are not in love or are not really meant for one another. What you may feel for a person at one point may change at another. Divorce is not a good thing but that doesn't mean that it's selfish either in my opinion. People often do it for the best interest of the involved people. It's different to be married 15 yrsor more with constant fighting and arguing then it is to be married 55 hrs with.....well whatever the reason they got divorced. 55 hours is absolutely insane. So is 3 or 4 months. Some of these differences should have been carefula examined and thought about before ever even considering marriage for those people. Celebrities think that because they have money to throw around they can just marry whomever seems ok first. It seems to me that they often think " Oh it's ok, I'll marry this person, If it doesnt work out I can always just get a divorce." Usually when people make such a choice as marriage they usually have hopes of it working out and plan on working out the differences instead of divorcing for silly reasons or even marrying for silly reaqsons. Some people just really need to give marriage alor more consideration. There is no need to rush it, If they are in fact the right one, they will be around for a while and can wait. The right thing and perfect one are often worth waiting for.

I realize this probably assumed "dead" thread was recently revived by a newbie. But I wasn't around when it was first posted either and would like to respond.

quote:

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Obviously, those who believe in the "sanctity of marriage" won't care for this argument much, but you guys are overall a liberal crowd, so I thought I'd put it out there. Are you guys planning on getting married? Why? Is it to uphold tradition, to get the government benefits, or for something more? I'd be really interested to know.

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I don't really understand the "sanctity" of marriage. Is standing before God supposed to make it holy? So does that mean that people who elope or get married by a justice of the peace instead of a minister aren't consider under the title of a holy marriage? My reasons for wanting to get married have more to do with my emotional side than my spiritual side.

I'm planning on getting married because I've never really thought about not getting married. I've just always assumed that it was in my life plans. You know, go to college, get a job, get married, and possibly have kids (though I'd rather adopt, I think). That's just always been my vision.

I kinda just want to get married. I know that one ceremony isn't going to really change my relationship with the person I marry---we would love and cherish each other as much as we did before the marriage. To me, marriage is a one time thing. I know in today's society, people often just get married, knowing they can always get divorced if they want to. But I want to get married once and not do it again.

Marriage does represent like the "final commitment" in a relationship. You've been with this person for so long and marriage is like the cement---it makes the relationship solid and everlasting, not only in a state of mind but on paper and in front of all of your loved ones (not to mention, God). It's more of a ritual to make my relationship final in my mind.

Also, for reasons that are logical and spiritual, I'm waiting until marriage to have sex. So, you see, relationships are very important to me. I've had exactly two boyfriends so far (including my current one) and the first relationship lasted 9 months (the current one is three months and counting). I take relationships seriously---I'm not looking for dating "experience" or dating around, I'm looking for one single person, a commitment. Marriage is serious to me and something I just want. Plus, with the promise I already made to myself, it's the passage to losing my virginity as well, most likely to my one true love and the person I'm going to spend the rest of my life with (that is kind of the point to my promise anyways, right?).

I guess I don't see how someone wouldn't want to get married...