"Sanctity"???? So straight people getting divorced MULTIPLE times are suddenly sanctimonius?

And jamaica, quit being such a jackass. She got RAPED. Just because she didn't want to put her body through something it shouldn't really go through at that age does NOT mean she doesn't like (or want) children later. And so what if she doesn't like kids? How is that ANY of your business?
And about your Africa comment, it's the damn culture, and I believe it is often a custom for girls to be married (to MUCH older men and by arrangement of their parents) around the age of 14.

Anyway, I'd like to get married, but seeing as I am the biggest ****ie ever, and seeing as there are way too many religious zealots in power, that's probably not going to happen. On legal terms, anyway. I have my own plots and schemes (more like hopes and dreams) that I'd like to enact sooner or later.....

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Oh yeah??? Just by having that kid of yours in abortion long ago proves you dont love a child... Even if it was the product of your rape, still it WAS a child... if you consider children a blessing, then by all means, even if happened to you at a tender age, they dont deserve to die or to be killed just because you said it isnt the time for you to have it.. THATS JUST A PATHETIC EXCUSE.. In AFRICA, many teens have babies long before they reach 15.... and they never put it up for abortion.. Rather, they just have it and take care of it coz children are part of the world. SOME people LONG for babies and they would try to find means of getting one even if its just an adopted child. You, however, killed your own instead of just raising it, or if you really dont want to, you could have put it up for adoption where some parents who cant have children would be happy to have it. Just because you still have many egg cells to spare doesnt mean you can just kill one baby when the time isnt right. Its not the time that matters, its how you are able to take care of the situation not through cruel means but by means in which no one will be harmed or result in death.

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Jamaica, mind your own ****ing business. And if you don't, you're gonna get your *** killed. Harsh but true.

I would really like to get married when i am older and find the right person. I feel that marriage is a very sacred thing. I can't really explain my thinking as i am semi brain-dead at the moment, but that is what i think.

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let it die because of some new lifestyle happening around us

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Jamaica. You said that you are a Bible-reading, God-fearing Christian right? Well, if so i have some news for you. This lifestyle isn't new. If you read the old testament it mentions this lifestyle. This lifestyle has been around for hundreds of years. It is nothing new. I myself am a Christian. I actually am opposed to gay marriage (please don't get on my case about this). It is something that i believe to be wrong.

I can see why people would want to get married though. Married couples have more rights then non-married couples. Many non-married couples feel that they should have the right to decide about their partner if they are sick and in need of medical attention, but they are unable to as they are unmarried. This seemed to come up A LOT in the gay marriage debate.

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I would rather die than marry a woman who would not be unwilling to give up her equality for love

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North, am i reading this right? Are you saying that you would want a woman to give up her rights and become your "slave"? It seems that you think that women are lower once they get married. Am I reading this wrong? I would really like to know what you are really saying if I have misinterpretted what has been written.

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Also, I do like children. I just don't want one at this time of my life. I want kids when I am 30, not necesarilly married, but would be nice if I was.

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Oh yeah??? Just by having that kid of yours in abortion long ago proves you dont love a child... Even if it was the product of your rape, still it WAS a child... if you consider children a blessing, then by all means, even if happened to you at a tender age, they dont deserve to die or to be killed just because you said it isnt the time for you to have it.. THATS JUST A PATHETIC EXCUSE.. In AFRICA, many teens have babies long before they reach 15.... and they never put it up for abortion.. Rather, they just have it and take care of it coz children are part of the world. SOME people LONG for babies and they would try to find means of getting one even if its just an adopted child. You, however, killed your own instead of just raising it, or if you really dont want to, you could have put it up for adoption where some parents who cant have children would be happy to have it. Just because you still have many egg cells to spare doesnt mean you can just kill one baby when the time isnt right. Its not the time that matters, its how you are able to take care of the situation not through cruel means but by means in which no one will be harmed or result in death.

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i thought pagans DONT value the sanctity of marriage since the sacrament of marriage had God as part of it.... you know, walking in church, saying your vows?????

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You seem to think the word Pagan is synonymous with disorder, primitiveness or evil. You're completely wrong.

Of course pagans value the "sanctity" of marriage, although opinions differ from person to person. Pagan marriages are sometimes very similar to regular, boring, old christian marriages. In fact, several traditions surrounding christian weddings have pagan backgrounds. Like the Honeymoon for instance.

I really wish you'd learn about us pagans before you say anything more because you're starting to offend me.

Paganism

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And besides, i thought pagans DONT value the sanctity of marriage since the sacrament of marriage had God as part of it.... you know, walking in church, saying your vows?????

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Jamaica, since you have no read anything in your life to have enough knowledge, I will explain to you that each culture and religion has its form in marriage, pagans included.

Also, I do like children. I just don't want one at this time of my life. I want kids when I am 30, not necesarilly married, but would be nice if I was.

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Jamaica, get your head out of its deep place in your a.nus. You're smelling your crap too much apparently.

I personally would like to get married in the future. I don't know what type of wedding, maybe just a judge present. I don't need to have God's blessing on it, I just want it to "seal" my relationship with that person (meaning to be loyal to each other and responsible and commited).

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why dont you smell yours????? Maybe its full of blood... You??? get married??? You dont even like children!!!!!!!! And besides, i thought pagans DONT value the sanctity of marriage since the sacrament of marriage had God as part of it.... you know, walking in church, saying your vows?????

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What remains is a deeper bond, which I think is more of a friendship type of love.

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I agree exactly. My parents act as if they are best friends.

The whole mairrage gig needs to be changed, though. It really is not democratic, and I would rather die than marry a woman who would not be unwilling to give up her equality for love. I guess I admire the Amazon tradition in women...

And anyway, I would not have a lavish ceramony anyway, being that I am an atheist.

Jamaica, get your head out of its deep place in your a.nus. You're smelling your crap too much apparently.

I personally would like to get married in the future. I don't know what type of wedding, maybe just a judge present. I don't need to have God's blessing on it, I just want it to "seal" my relationship with that person (meaning to be loyal to each other and responsible and commited).

Also, I don't think one should marry solely for love. Of course, i think at first one should marry for love, but not with the "and we will always love each other no matter what like a fairy tale" ideal. Why? Because "love" (in "love" I mean, that giddy feeling, that feeling of always wanting to please him/her, etc) dies. What remains is a deeper bond, which I think is more of a friendship type of love.

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as long as you ARE MARRIED WITH A PRIEST AS WITNESS.

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What about a Pastor? A Rabbi? A judge? Another religious person? (I don't know that much about marriage in other cultures-- Sorry! If you know more, please teach me cause I'd like to know.)

GQ, I love you for that post.

Part of me wants to get married, part of me doesn't. The part of me that does is mainly only for religious reasons that have stuck with me through time.

Basically, I don't know what I think about marriage. I just think that I'll finally know if and when I meet that right somebody.

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WEll now we're marrying on YN boards, so I guess you can't go much further down hill.

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That's just for fun. It has nothing to do with real marriage.

Aguagon, I see what you're saying. I always wanted to get married and have my family and friends around, and it seemed so important to make it legal.

My fiance' and I had been dating for 3 years by time he proposed. I was offended that he waited that long. I thought maybe it wasn't as important to him that it was to me because he didn't want to make it "legal".

Now, I know that marriage is a state of mind. Your heart makes you married to the person that you're with not a piece of paper that is approved by a church and the government. That is just man. My heart doesn't need approval from God nor the church.

We are going to get married still, but it took me this long to realize that maybe he was right. It's just a piece of paper in the end. I would be happy with just a simple ceremony and an exchanging of vows. I don't need anyone to tell me that I'm married because I already am in my heart.

Jamaica, get your head out of your a@@. His life is "made of plastic"? Maybe your God is made of plastic and you can have your plastic God Approved marriage when you find your brainwashed little man to marry.

I got married in a chat room. There was me, my wife, a jewish priest dressed like Elvis, my mother, her father, a witness, and a flunkie limo-driver that quit at the last second. So now I am queen of the chat and she is king. Of course it was all in jest but it makes you wonder. If I ever get married I want it to be over the internet. Just to set some sort of record. I also want to walk down the aisle in a beautiful white gown. But I would have to shave my legs and then I would have to get high heels and I don't think they make those in size 14, and I would have to get breast implants and figure out somewhere to put my...erm...male parts. You get the idea. Wouldn't work. =)

Ciao

People marry for money all the time.

Just look at Anna Nicole Smith.

Have all of America's marriages been hacked to bits yet?

WEll now we're marrying on YN boards, so I guess you can't go much further down hill.

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To me, it wont feel meaningful if i dont go to the church and walk up the aisle and wear a white wedding gown and say my vows.

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And that's what you feel is right for you.

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I think that getting married in a church gives meaning because you are not making your marriage private.

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What, as opposed to getting married outside or the courthouse? I think those both make your marriage more public than a private church.

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If you are just going to be faithful to your partner without letting others know, maybe only your close friends and family know, then others who see you together may not get the fact that YOU ARE MARRIED TO HER whereas, when you really get married in a church, you have the papers to prove it, yourloved ones are there to suppport you and God is there as your witness to a meaningful, happy family life.

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So you should tell absolutely everyone you see that you're married. "Hi, I'm married. Hi, I'm taken. You can't have me, I have a ring."

You can get married wherever you want and be legally married. Paper is not exculusive to the church.

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If marriage isnt important, why were people of long ago practice it????

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First, I skipped the stuff in between the last quote and this one because I didn't understand it, it was so poorly written.

Second, I feel as though I should kick you in the teeth for grammar that poor.

Anyway, big deal. "People of long ago" did a lot of stuff. Maybe we should go back to the ancient traditions of making the poor work in sulfur mines. (I'd rather give the poor a break, and just make the stupid work down there. Hilarity ensues.)

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Its important still to let our generation practice it than let it die because of some new lifestyle happening around us.

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You realize that we're not calling for an end to straight marriage, right?

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And to me its not appropriate... at least, if you really want to get married fast, then fine, as long as you ARE MARRIED WITH A PRIEST AS WITNESS.

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So gay people can get a quickie marriage, as long as there's a priest? Good deal.

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You can love a person, live with a person, have children with a person, and be there for your children and that person without ever calling that person your spouse.

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I agree. I think that two people can have a relationship regardless of getting married and are still able to have commitment, faithfulness, or responsibility to their companion. I just think that when people think about marriage they look for these three things along with companionship because they think that if they get married as oppesed to not marrying someone that these things will become more solid and it will make the marriage last.

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To me, it wont feel meaningful if i dont go to the church and walk up the aisle and wear a white wedding gown and say my vows. I think that getting married in a church gives meaning because you are not making your marriage private. When you celebrate marriage, its as if you are telling the whole community, and showing to your friends and family that YOU are getting married, are faithful to the one you love and that its not some sort of flim flam. When you get right down to it, marriage is a symbol that you let everyone know you are SERIOUS with your vows.

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I think that it's every girls dream to plan out their dream wedding because it's a day honoring them and the one they plan to spend the rest of their life with. I am not one of those girls that is big on planning something that may or may not happen for me but I can honestly say that I have giving it some kind of thought.

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So I propose this: Maybe marriage really isn't that big a deal. I'm not entirely sure if I ever intend to get married, despite my plans to have children and remain faithful to the woman I have them with. When you get right down to it, aside from a number of government benefits that gays and lesbians are heroically showing they can live without, marriage is as artificial as plastic.

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To me, it wont feel meaningful if i dont go to the church and walk up the aisle and wear a white wedding gown and say my vows. I think that getting married in a church gives meaning because you are not making your marriage private. When you celebrate marriage, its as if you are telling the whole community, and showing to your friends and family that YOU are getting married, are faithful to the one you love and that its not some sort of flim flam. When you get right down to it, marriage is a symbol that you let everyone know you are SERIOUS with your vows.
take this example: If you are just going to be faithful to your partner without letting others know, maybe only your close friends and family know, then others who see you together may not get the fact that YOU ARE MARRIED TO HER whereas, when you really get married in a church, you have the papers to prove it, yourloved ones are there to suppport you and God is there as your witness to a meaningful, happy family life. Besides, i dont oppose to gays and lesbians having relations with each other but i really and truly oppose to them getting married inside a church because marriage is sacred. Its only for man and woman only and not same sex. If marriage isnt important, why were people of long ago practice it???? Its important still to let our generation practice it than let it die because of some new lifestyle happening around us. Besides, not getting married is just like living-in. And to me its not appropriate... at least, if you really want to get married fast, then fine, as long as you ARE MARRIED WITH A PRIEST AS WITNESS. Its better than having a family without proof that you're married.
Marriage is not plastic. Its as real as the skies above us. If you think that it is plastic, then your life must be plastic too. Easily torn, and can easily be discarded.