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Picture of freedomordeath
Registered: June 02, 2004
Posts: 8352
Posted   Hide PostReply With QuoteEdit or Delete MessageReport This Post  
Ummm... this is the first time I have told my story on the internet. And this story is the exact reason I hate people like WJ for such outrageous comments. I am also considering making a thread on this, if you guys believe it'd be acceptable enough and if we don't already have a "Tell your story" type thread.

It was the end of the eighth grade school year. I had multiple friends, a "girlfriend", and what seemed like an endless supply of "nice acquaintances" as I have continued to consider those people you don't know a lot about, but who remain friendly with you.

As the summer progressed, my two best friends and I hung out quite often and I came to realize a slight difference between the three of us. One of us had a voice that was changing dramatically over the three month period. Another was growing at least an inch or more every month, not to mention he was quickly developing upper body strength. And the last of us remained the chubby, squeaky boy he had been since fifth grade. That boy was I.

High School, a term placed on an event or even a physical dwelling in rare cases, was a word we knew to symbolize the growing up mentally that our bodies had been working on physically. That is, except for me.

You see, I was quite the opposite of my friends. Yes, my genital area was progressing well as my doctor called it, yet all other physical traits lacked a more manly quality. And yes, I was merely turning thirteen at the beginning of the school year, but my mind had been, and continued to, excel far beyond the capacity of my closer friends and even my girlfriend. (I actually broke up with her not long into the freshman year, due to what I considered a lack of maturity.) While my friends joked about the physiques of most of the girls in the mall our own age, I fantasized about become an author, or a famous veterinarian, aspirations you generally hear from young adults, not preteens.

The first day of school approached, but I honestly did not factor the quality of my voice or my stature and shape in the mirror before I left when the day arrived. I cared more about my recently dyed blond hair, which, for my area, was quite popular in the middle school.(But then again, our school district was a regional school, and there were two more towns that would be in the high school than middle school. Middle school combined the five local elementary schools.) I rode the bus that day with anxieties, but told myself that this was to be expected of a new environment.

I entered the building with no clue of where, or how and when, classes started. My first class was French 2. By the room number, I knew that it was upstairs, and had slight difficulty finding the designated room. And it didn't help that there were nearly 900 bustling bodies in my way, the entire way. However, upon entrance, I could tell most of these students were of my age, and to not worry for this reason. Besides, the teacher was also very nice. We went over the rules, the basic requirements of the course, etcetera, until the end of the block.

At this time, I had a study hall. Something that did not exist in the middle school. All I knew of it was the rumors rife about the school, of mean teachers, spit balls whizzing past your head and the unaccounted for demand of silence and studying. By looking at my schedule, sent through the mail to me, I noticed study hall was in the cafeteria, an area I had not yet made an effort to visit.

The cafeteria was off to the side of a hallway, so it was fairly easy to find. However, I quickly came to the conclusion that finding a friend would not be quite so simplistic. I saw a group of nice looking older girls, and asked if it would be any trouble if I joined them at their table. Somehow, probably by pure coincidence, one of the two girls recognized me as a family friend. I had no recollection of this, but she remembered me all the same and interviewed me on my parents' well-doing and other meaningless subjects.

I soon realized out of the corner of my eye, that there was, in fact, a girl I knew from middle and elementary school. As "Joan", the girl that recognized me, and her friend "Crystal" left the table to speak to guidance counselors, as they were seniors, I wished them farewell and a good day. I moved my items and myself nearer to my acquaintance, and asked if it was all right to sit with her. Answering affirmatively, I sat down.

We became engrossed in another meaningless conversation for me, and I soon became preoccupied surveying a table of two boys directly behind by recent companion, who appeared to be making a discussion about me, and consistently making gestures about me and to me. This was odd, mostly because I scarcely knew either one of them, but one of them soon approached me with one of the most awkward questions I had received up until that point in my life.

"Do want this pencil?" he asked, snickering.

The pencil was new, a number two, and still had an eraser at the end. But something was wrong by the way in which he asked the question and the pencil's physical appearance I have yet to describe. Not only did he ask the question with what might seem like a comical nasally voice, but appeared to be trying to seduce me. I took a glance at the pencil again and instantly put two and two together. The pencil was rainbow colored. I was unsure of the importance of this until later, but I had my suscipions.

"No thanks," I frankly replied.

"Take it then," he persisted.

He left the table with the pencil on it. The girl sitting across from me began to chortle the laugh I have dubbed "The freshman giggle", an action by most freshman girls of high decibel and pitch.

I walked over to the table, furious with his stubbornness. I set the pencil down next to him.

"Thanks anyway," I stated with as much politeness for his defiance as I could gather.

I quickly returned to the table and tried to look busy by drawing pictures, telling myself I couldn't be bothered if I was involved with something.

He returned about two minutes later. His action as of late were an annoyance, but his next action would make me so uncomfortable and humiliated to my core.

"It's okay. I understand," He blurted, rubbing the side of my arm. I understood. He believed I was a homosexual.

I was astounded at his assumption. I still am to this day. My voice, my lack of development in general, and possibly my attitude were the only things he needed in order to mainpulate my pride and self-worth.

Homophobia is a very big part of my school, and this is why I decided to share my story.

I had far more in store to tell you guys-this is merely a scratch, I mean, it's truly about a half hour of a semester (or even year-long) occurrence. If anyone's interested in hearing more, I'd love to continue for you. I actually find this rather soothing.


Live and Let Live. Love and Let Love.
Picture of Barkid
Registered: November 22, 2004
Posts: 750
Posted   Hide PostReply With QuoteEdit or Delete MessageReport This Post  
That's an awfully self centered view, perhaps you should go live on a desert island and see how long your self importantce gets ye by.


"Mac, you ever been in love?" - "No, I've been a bartender all my life."
Picture of moovivor
Registered: November 20, 2004
Posts: 277
Posted   Hide PostReply With QuoteEdit or Delete MessageReport This Post  
quote:
Originally posted by depressedwavemaster:
Well well well, a very daring newbie.


I didn't get daring until I had, like... 50 posts.
Picture of depressedwavemaster
Registered: June 09, 2003
Posts: 5084
Posted   Hide PostReply With QuoteEdit or Delete MessageReport This Post  
Well well well, a very daring newbie. I think you are neither cute nor psychotic.


None of us can ever be free while others are still in chains. -Leslie Feinberg
Picture of CuteButPsycho
Registered: November 26, 2004
Posts: 27
Posted   Hide PostReply With QuoteEdit or Delete MessageReport This Post  
LPN you are excatly right, there is a LOT of homophobia in the world altogether and you deserve to not have to worry about discrimination and stuff so speak out! your voice deserves to be heard because no matter what you are a beautiful person and like vindicated always says:

be proud of who you are, dont care what other people think about you, because in the end you are the only one that matters in your life

btw WJ-
F*** OFF!!!!
Picture of vindicated631
Registered: November 15, 2004
Posts: 135
Posted   Hide PostReply With QuoteEdit or Delete MessageReport This Post  
jits all good moovivor, i dint get reconized for a while either! it all good.


be proud of who you are, dont care what other people think about you, because in the end you are the only one that matters in your life
Picture of moovivor
Registered: November 20, 2004
Posts: 277
Posted   Hide PostReply With QuoteEdit or Delete MessageReport This Post  
quote:
Originally posted by vindicated631:
my new fav. YN members....moovivor and depresseedwavemaster


Teehee! Thanks so much. Big Grin First time I've been recognized, I'm so new... haha.

You're cool too!
Picture of depressedwavemaster
Registered: June 09, 2003
Posts: 5084
Posted   Hide PostReply With QuoteEdit or Delete MessageReport This Post  
Why, cause we agree with you?


None of us can ever be free while others are still in chains. -Leslie Feinberg
Picture of vindicated631
Registered: November 15, 2004
Posts: 135
Posted   Hide PostReply With QuoteEdit or Delete MessageReport This Post  
my new fav. YN members....moovivor and depresseedwavemaster
that is of course, after bella Wink


be proud of who you are, dont care what other people think about you, because in the end you are the only one that matters in your life
Picture of moovivor
Registered: November 20, 2004
Posts: 277
Posted   Hide PostReply With QuoteEdit or Delete MessageReport This Post  
quote:
Originally posted by vindicated631:
so form now on, we are not going to talk to WJ, or WJJ on this subject thing.


Deal. Smile

But I do think it's funny that he thinks people take him seriously.
Picture of vindicated631
Registered: November 15, 2004
Posts: 135
Posted   Hide PostReply With QuoteEdit or Delete MessageReport This Post  
so form now on, we are not going to talk to WJ, or WJJ on this subject thing.


be proud of who you are, dont care what other people think about you, because in the end you are the only one that matters in your life
Picture of depressedwavemaster
Registered: June 09, 2003
Posts: 5084
Posted   Hide PostReply With QuoteEdit or Delete MessageReport This Post  
Yes, well, I try.


None of us can ever be free while others are still in chains. -Leslie Feinberg
Picture of vindicated631
Registered: November 15, 2004
Posts: 135
Posted   Hide PostReply With QuoteEdit or Delete MessageReport This Post  
lol, i agree. i like DWM, you are a funny guy!


be proud of who you are, dont care what other people think about you, because in the end you are the only one that matters in your life
Picture of depressedwavemaster
Registered: June 09, 2003
Posts: 5084
Posted   Hide PostReply With QuoteEdit or Delete MessageReport This Post  
vindicated- so what do we do? he only seems to be posting here. I propose we ignore him like we do Jamaica.


None of us can ever be free while others are still in chains. -Leslie Feinberg
Picture of vindicated631
Registered: November 15, 2004
Posts: 135
Posted   Hide PostReply With QuoteEdit or Delete MessageReport This Post  
quote:
Originally posted by depressedwavemaster:
I think WJ is just saying this stuff to make people hate 'im.


totally, agree, but i also think that some people pick on other people because they are really insecure.


be proud of who you are, dont care what other people think about you, because in the end you are the only one that matters in your life
Picture of sleeprocker
Registered: July 30, 2004
Posts: 203
Posted   Hide PostReply With QuoteEdit or Delete MessageReport This Post  
Heh, I wouldn't go that far; I think that he and whatsisname, JoeyDauben(?) are just out for the attention. And purely because this is an open forum site and he (unfortunately) has the right to voice his opinions.

Doesn't make being a jackass right, though.

I can't wait for WJ to get to prison for his first gay-bashing. Like my favorite line in "The Laramie Project" says - "Why would you kill a f#&%ot if you're gonna BE a f#&%ot?"


Just remember I'm human, too.
Picture of depressedwavemaster
Registered: June 09, 2003
Posts: 5084
Posted   Hide PostReply With QuoteEdit or Delete MessageReport This Post  
I think WJ is just saying this stuff to make people hate 'im.


None of us can ever be free while others are still in chains. -Leslie Feinberg
Picture of yogore
Registered: February 02, 2004
Posts: 9213
Posted   Hide PostReply With QuoteEdit or Delete MessageReport This Post  
quote:
when he gave out the answers he said "Hopefully its not your boyfriend." I'm proud to say that hes my favorite teacher now!


He could get in major trouvble for that (if he was in MA atleast). And he should.


"You learn about equality in the classroom but you find out about it in life" - Campus Confidential www.myspace.com/yogore
Picture of moovivor
Registered: November 20, 2004
Posts: 277
Posted   Hide PostReply With QuoteEdit or Delete MessageReport This Post  
quote:
Originally posted by WJ:
a good punch in the face usually stops them!


Oh, good! A VIOLENT moronic, ignorant, irritating bigot! For a minute there, I was worried you might be peaceful.

quote:
a teacher in my sex ed. class today gav out a test with questions and good responses(he just teaches the guys)and one question had your girlfriend/boyfriend and when he gave out the answers he said "Hopefully its not your boyfriend." I'm proud to say that hes my favorite teacher now!



Further proof that it's ignorance that leads to bigotry. No teacher I know would ever discriminate against anyone in front of a class, even if they personally were discriminated in some way.

I've realized now it really isn't worth arguing with him, because he'll just say something stupid in response (but at least no one can say these are out of character), and then I'll respond again, and so on...
Picture of CelticNewAger
Registered: December 11, 2003
Posts: 9501
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THat, my dear YouthNOISE friends, is why an acceptance test should be taken before coming into YN.


"Regardless, I have always, and will always, succeed."
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