This thread is for everyone who has had someone close to them pass away and just need a place to discuss anything and everything about the death, the funeral, and any of the time before and after.

Please, out of respect, if you haven't lost someone close to you, or haven't been affected by a death, don't post.

I couldn't look at them for the longest time, for that same reason, but now I feel like they're pretty much all I have left of her.

I remember throwing out everything she wrote me years ago. They were mostly birthday or holiday cards. I didn't want to remember her and I felt so guilty everytime I read " I love you and I'll see you soon"

Things that she wrote for me before she died. It's like I have a little piece of her that I can read and reread, like she's talking to me again.

Things that you wrote or that the deseased wrote?

Things in handwriting tend to help me. Just a thought.

quote:

I hate how when I see photos of him, I sometimes forget who he is, sometimes forget what he looks like, what he sounds like. Without pictures, I can't really remember his face, though I can remember his body, his stature, how he did things.

Do you have anything that reminds you of him? I have a bunch of old gaudy jewelry she used to wear in a box. It's comforting to know that something reminds me of her, that I still have some memory. I feel closer to her when I pull it out. I can remember somethings that I couldn't. In a sense its like looking at a photo but it's more personal. I remember more about her personality and her being than superficial things.

I keep dreaming that he's still alive, that I can call him but he's not there, that he's hiding and I need to go find him. Then when I do, he disappears.

I hate how when I see photos of him, I sometimes forget who he is, sometimes forget what he looks like, what he sounds like. Without pictures, I can't really remember his face, though I can remember his body, his stature, how he did things.

If I do remember his face, I see it the way I first did when I was absentmindedly looking towards his coffin and someone moved and I could see his head, lying there...

I lost a close friend a couple years ago, and after the initial traumatizing few weeks, I just started feeling numb about the situation. There was a period where I actively tried to put him out of my head (and succeeded), but now I've found that even when I want to remember him, the emotions don't come.

The only outlet I seem to have is dreams. I'll have dreams about him that are very emotional and sometimes pretty painful, but twenty minutes after I wake up I'll slide back into something like apathy again.

Sometimes I get to worrying that I genuinely don't care that much, but I know that's not the case, and the dreams confirm it. I guess this is just how I'm dealing with it at this point of my life.

quote:

I don't want to forget her either, but sometimes it's easier than remembering. It lessens the pain.

For the past 7 years I have been trying to lessen the pain. That caused me to detatch my self from my emotions, develop some unhealthy habits, and forget most of my childhood.

Now I am relearning my emotions and how to deal with them in healthy ways. The problem with that is the fact that I never proporly grieved so now I have to. That means not pushing away the memories. I want to remember. The problem is I can't. I think that hurts more then whatever pain they could bring.

I've forgotten what my aunt looked like... and what she sounded like. But i remember every memory so clearly... I don't want to forget her either, but sometimes it's easier than remembering. It lessens the pain.

To others that have lost some one, do you ever feel like you are forgeting them? How do you deal with that?
Do you feel guilty?

I really do need help with this. I can't remember the sound of her voice or what she looks like. I have to see pictures to remind me or look through her old jewelry. I also have trouble remembering any memories of her. I feel so guilty. I know I should be able to remember. I don't want to forget her.