Dear Ampy,

So this friend of mine endd up falling for a guy, but they decided that it couldn't work and stopped talking. They were really good friends, and she misses talking to him. It's been a month or two and she's wondering if it's too soon to talk to him again.

~Lonely in MN

Hi Meagan,

Thanks for the tip..you never know..I may have to use it..

Jazzii

Dear Jazzii,

Another thing you can do to confirm to yourself that he is, in fact, reading your journals...write something in there that is very juicy, yet completely untrue. If it is brought up by him at all, you will have at least proven it to yourself.

-Meagan (nosy reader of the Dear Ampy thread)

Thanks Ampy,

Appreciate the advice regarding my problem,,
Time will tell..right!!

Jazzii

Dear Amp,
Thanks for the advice again. I did tell someone, but she does hate me says, but that is a very strong word. So I think I did the right thing, but have feelings that I could of done things different.
-SAHN

Dear Jazzii,

hide your journals better, report to your AC/House Mom about the situation and garner advice and finally if the situation persists and the adults don't help follow up on your own and confront him (somewhere public, in case he gets violent)
luck and NM me if you have further questions,
-ampy

Dear Ikki,
responded via IM,
-ampy

Dear Ampy,
Why do things seem like such bad ideas in retrospect?
I think I may have to cry...
-Ikkalee

I'm not sure how to start when it comes to this person. Problem is I don't know him that well as he is a new addition to our addictions program.

First off,we live in a home for recovering teens (as in drugs and alcohol). I'ts like a safe house..once you're accepted into the program you basically live there until you turn 18...if you fit the criteria to move on to the "Start" Program at the age of 18..you are moved to a new home and enter college, university etc. In both these homes,the teens have a program to follow (councelling sessions,AA,NA,no skipping classes, etc.)and if you don't then you risk the chance of being booted.

As I said above, he is fairly new..

At first he seemed eager to follow the program, eager to participate in discussions etc. But over the last week I've noticed a change in him. He is continuously following me around..makes very inappropriate comments..and I suspect he has entered my room when I am not around..which is a big time NO as far as house rules go...he sits during group and doesn't particitpate..and I know his AC has talked to him too about his behavior..
I think the thing that has upset me the most..is that he has made certain comments to me regarding my past..especially about my Mom..who I have been estranged from since age 12..private thoughts you know..that I have referred to only in my Recovery Journal..or to my AC (addictions councellor)..

There is a list of kids who are waiting to get in here..and if someone is taking up a spot..but doesn't want the help or is ready to get the help..then...usually it doen't take long to have them removed...sad as that reality is..that is the REALITY!!

I beleive this person has (and continues to) enter my room and read my journals(of which I have many).. but I have no proof...other than what he has said to me.

I have mentioned it to my AC..and he is aware of my concerns..but without proof..I have to be so careful how to handle the situation..

Two days ago..he made a comment regarding my best friend Jai..who is in the "Start" program..about his relationship with his Dad and how he blames himself for his Dad's death..I swear that came right from my journal..something he shared with me..when he was going through rehab..(we are all asked to keep journals of our recovery process..a place to put thoughts on paper you know)

Now I feel like I can't trust that what I write..will not be read by someone other than myself..

I have asked our house Mom if I could get a lock on my door but that's against house rules..so..

Do you have any other suggestions as to how I can go about handling this situation..should I just come out and talk to him..should I ask for a meeting between him and I with our prospective councellors?? God I am so confused..

I have lived here for just over two years and I have never had to deal with anything like this..we are all very respectful of others privacy..and we tend to go out of our way to make people feel welcome..cause we know how hard it is..to stay sober..to work really hard to put your life back on track..

I am at a loss as to what to do next..really any suggestions you might have would be helpful..

Jazzii

Dear Ikki,
Good job, I've got it from here
-amp

Dear SAHN,

Let me share a bit of my own experience in this matter with you. I had a very close friend who was very severly emotionally messed up and suicidal. I decided that it was time to intervene. I went through the same thought process as you, "She's going to hate me for this" but the conclusion I came to is, "I'd rather have her alive, getting help and hating me" then dead or still hurting. It's something you've got to decide for yourself there but it comes down to this, be a friend and do what's best for her
-Ampy

Dear Ikk,
Thanks it involves quite a few things, and I have been listening. I think it is time though that I tell someone. I know she will hate me for it, but I feel it is the only thing I can do now. She is starting to scare me, and I don't know how her parents don't see it. Thanks again.
-SAHN

Dear Cap,

You'll get used to it, eventually, as used to it as can be expected. There will be days where it hurts like fucking hell and all you want to do is run away from the pain, but it will get better. It takes time, and eventually, you will grow closer to accepting it and life will move on.

If you need, I suggest setting time aside a month or so to gather with friends and discuss him and do something in honor of him, to perchance help yourself realize that you can move on and he will still be remembered.

Dear SAHN,
If they haven't specifically asked for words, just listen. You don't need to say a whole lot (unless the situation involves suicide-- then talk to your parents), but just listen.

------

Dear Amp,
I'm not you, but I tried. I hope you don't mind me answering a few for you.
-Ikk

Dear Amp,
I don't know what to say to someone who is hurting so much emotionally anymore. I can not seem to find the right words anymore. What should I do?
-SAHN

Dear Amp,

I've been thinking about CP a lot. He's dead, gone, I'm never gonna see him again. I want to just accept it, get over it, and get on with my life.

But how?

responded via e-mail

Dear Amp,

What should I do?

-Meagan

Personally, I'm betting that Felix sneaks out of his tank every night and raids your fridge. That's what happens to all the missing food in your cupboards.

I suppose he's cool with it, other wise he'd find away to express his displeasure with the grub

Poor Felix. It must be awfully boring to eat fish pellets every day...

As I recall felix is a beta fish and they can be delicate. I would reccomend not feeding felix anything outside his normal diet

Dear Ampy,

What would happen if I fed a piece of popcorn to Felix? (It's kettle corn, I don't know if that makes a difference or not...)