Okay, this is my first day on this site. I was searching for advice site of columns and I think peer to peer would be one of my better options, so hopefully I'll get some answers, or advice.

First off, yesterday, I was bluntly told that I was pitying myself, and that I only hold things I want at a distance because I don't want to be hurt in the end.

But then he started talking about how I should just do the things I say I want to do, even if the outcome becomes bad. And that I shouldn't feel secure, because no matter what I do or where I go, I won't be secure.And that it's all in my head.

He then says I'm not secure becasue I doubt myself in most things, and that I look upon things with eyes only to preserve what little I think I can have and take.

I know that part is right, but not everyone can be as bold, right? And then I was telling him, that I thought I couldn't do it, and he started telling me I should stop thinking about it. THat I should do more, instead of think. Act before I think.

Then off, he tells me to stop thinking I am someone special and that everyone has problems and that I should puff out my chest and straighten up and quit avoiding change.
( In which, I know everyone has problems, and I just tend to voice them...>< )

And then I asked him to stop saying those things, and he brins up how I told him personally that I didn't want to be babied, which I don't. But should he have said all that? I know it's all true and I want to fix it, but he makes it sound like I should and can do it all in one snap of my fingers.

And I feel I can't, but I want to.
Bascially, my self esteem and such is failing miserably, and I need help as to how I can go about trying to change some things.
I guess I really am insecure, but I don't want to lose everything I have up to now.

If someone could help me please, that would be greatly appreciated.

If you really want to change...then do it. it will take time and hard work but if you do it for yourself to make yourself happy...then it can be done...if you do it just bc your friend tells you, then you're just SOL

lol Tiff your crazy babe! Thats why I love you tho I'm going to my brothers to help him with his kids until he brings the baby home from the hospital. I might be around. If you see me on-line IM me. K sweets?

I know this is an advice column but uh Steph where are you going tonight???? I WAS gonna call you and come to Ohio sike i'm joking I just wanted to say i'm happy I met you and I am happy about us i'm hoping it stays like this forever......
-bAbYdOlL-

It sounds like you need someone to talk to. You can NOISEmail me if you'd like. I'd be more than happy to talk with you and give you advice that way.