hey. just kinda throwin' this out there. i've just been having a hard time with this girl i like, nikki. she doesn't think the same and it bugs me quite a bit. i took the aggressive way, ya know, telling how u feel and it ends up jeopardizing the friendship u never really had. yup. she has noooo idea. it seems like theres no chance for us at all but for some reason its just hard not to like her. well just throwing this out there just to see what u have to say. share your stories if u want, give advise, whatever u floats your mom...i mean your boat

bump

hey whats up everybody. i just wanted to thank you all again for your posts. i'm considering everything that all of you have said. i've even printed them off and i figure i'll look at them from time to time. if anyone else wants to post, please do! if someone wants to post again, please do! thanks everybody. it means a lot. just to keep you updated, right now I'm just kinda staying away from her. not saying anything. i figure maybe it'll help if we don't talk for awhile. then hopefully when we do, things will have smoothed out by then. almost like starting over. sounds like a plan to me. later

yeah if you like someone just take a risk and go for it. It is worth it just to find out if it'll work or not. ANd if it does you will be really happy. Also, if you like someone make sure they know, otherwise its this crazy mind-game that is so hard to win.

i know how you feel. i've been in the same situation (sort of) for quite some time, and i've been asking myself most of the quetions you probably had already. First of all, think if you value her friendship. in my case, its the fear of losing her friendship that kept me from clearly teling her my real feelings. And this can be a real pain whenever im talking to her and just feel the urge to hold her hand or somethin. and i just cant.

In my case, however, we've been thru some special ocations (like watching a movie at a friends house , that kinda stuff) where i used every ounce of courage that i had and (very discreetly) grabbed her hand or huggled her very shortly, and she kinda hugled back (^_^). sadly, after those brief moments of bliss, i never had the nerve to say anything about it. so now after so much time i don't really know how will she react, because we've become pretty close, but only in the 'friends' kind of close.

so...my advise is: don't openly tell her your feelings, but dont deny them either. just let her know you care about her and love her by you actions. you will probably know when she gets the mesage for the way she act arround you. if she positively acts back, then its time to tell her how you feel. don't do like i did and let that chance slip away.


and by the way, this is for all the girls: IF YOU LIKE A GUY, AND YOU THINK HE LIKES YOU BACK, DONT HOLD BACK, DAMIT! GO TELL HIM, GO ASK HIM ON A DATE, GO AND WATCH MOVIES AND ALL LOVEY-DOVIE THINNG YOU WANT. IF YOU THINK A GUY LIKES YOU, ITS BECAUSE HE DOES!!!!!! you would spare him a lot of trouble by doing the first move.

I asked, well, sort of asked, my BFF, Michael, out back in summer. Turned out he thought that we could be friends longer than we could be together. He was right, because, honestly, we are not match for eachother out of friend-lines. If you really like her and think she's 'the one', go for it. You live once and life is all about chances. If she says, no, live with it. Maybe things weren't meant to be.

Luvv,
~Cricket

its nice to see that i'm not alone. sometimes i feel like its so easy for other people and it must just be me but i can see that that's not the case. i've kinda laid back on the whole thing tho. i'm just gonna let whatever happens happen and try not to keep worrying about it....we'll see...please keep posting. it's interesting to hear what everyone has to say and what you're going through. i think all girls have responded to me. am i correct? i guess so far no one's been man enough to post here. lol (except me)

Willam, just let things be. But what vetiver says is true, keep the friendship going, and just hint lightly that you like her, or ask her out and see what she says, mabey she feels the same way but just doesn't know how to express it, or she doesn't want to get hurt by putting her heart on her sleeve, many people are cautious about doing things like that if they have been hurt before. And if she doesn't like you, I am sorry, but not everything works out the way you want it to.

ohh my goodness williamfold i feel the EXACT SAME WAY, ,,,, its like maybe he'll look at me differnet if i do this or if i do that i asked him out in august tooo and im still in the same situation..this is sad i dunnoe but do u feel needy,because i kinda do? i feel as if i have a serious problem because i just cant move on .... its like he has every thing i ever wanted in a guy ...and now its hard for me to go on to any1 else.. its like living life as a star than having to go back to the mediocore life.... do u feel the same way?

Well, just wait around for the girl for a while-not forever though. Just be friends. Talk to her. Keep it that way. Don't hurt the friendship. Let it be. If she likes you yay if not tough t-i-t-t-y said the kitty cause the milk went dry.

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for some reason, in the back of my mind, its like i feel like things will eventually work out or something.

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I know how you feel. I've liked this guy for a year now. He knows i like him, and even though some people say "sure, you guys have a chance" then how come he hasn't asked me out? Even thought i know he definitely doesn't like me and i should give it up, i don't want to let go... just in case.

The advice my friend gave to me is to make your life a "no him" [or in your case a "no her"] world, until you can finally see her as a friend. It didn't work for me, but, who knows?

thank you everybody for your posts. i really appreciate them. one thing though is that it's hard for me to just let her go. right now it's january. i asked her out in august. for some reason, in the back of my mind, its like i feel like things will eventually work out or something. i really don't even understand why I still like her. its confusing. i can't really explain it. any more posts would be appreciated

I've been in the place of Nikki, she might just not be interested or she might just be shocked or think you're kidding. When a guy openly says he likes a girl without her telling him first, it usually confuses girls. Being agressive was a bad move, that just makes the girl go into defense mode. I understand how you feel, but if she doesn't feel the same way there isn't much of a chance. Wait a few weeks maybe and tell her again, but more nicely. If she comes around great, if she doesn't ....sorry.

Im in the same situation your in a way.. anyway.. i like this kid in the seventh grade and all through the summer.. i told him i liked him in da summer, i got no reponse asked him out(if u didnt get it by now i am gurl) and he said i gotta sleep on it and for three weeks no repsonse so i gave up .....i was like maybe he jus doesnt like me ... so as da summer went on we got soo much closer .. i asked him out again...cuz jus like u its kinda hard jus to stop liking them,, den he said if i asked him out in da beginning of da year he would have went out wit me now dat we r close he jus couldn't ......in october he used me wen i was most vulnerable .....so i giess wat i am trying to say is ......girls and guys being friends is a verrry fragile thing ... homeboy i am still in this postion i still find myself trying to get a glimpse of him ..its sad huh? i guess we both got problems wit da opposite sex........ur not alone

Look william getting aggressive is gona take u nowhere…..shez gonna hate u al da more…..take my example….this one really really sweet guy likes me and he has asked me out twice and I refused both times…simply coz I don’t feel da same way bout him….now this guy has finally come to terms wid da fact dat nothing can happen between us and he respects my decision…v still r gud frenz….so u got two options….pull away from her completely or continue wid whatever relationship uve shared wid her……the choice is urs….

WELL I LIKE THIS GUY, JIMMY, I MEAN I DONT LIKE HIM I TRUELY LOVE HIM. I'M NOT SURE HOW HE FEELS ABOUT ME. I HAVE LIKED HIM SINCE THE 3RD GRADE AND I AM NOW IN 8TH. WE WERE DATING BUT I'M NOT SURE WHATS GOING ON RIGHT NOW. I DONT KNOW IF WE'RE TOGETHER OR NOT. HE TELLS ME HE LOVES ME BUT HIS FRIENDS THAT HE DOESNT. ITS CONFUSING. SO I CAN SORTA RELATE TO YOUR STORY. I MEAN I KNOW ITS HARD TO STOP LIKEING SOMEONE THAT FAST. SO JUST GET TO KNOW THE PERSON AND MAYBE YOU WILL HAVE YOUR CHANCE. OR MAYBE EVEN PLAY HARD-TO-GET THAT ALWAYS WORKS.

ok listen...this girl is obviously not for you...I was seeing this kid for a while and for some reason he annoyed the hell out of me but I couldn't get him off my mind! He was mean and downright annoying! Being "friends" is cool. just as long as you aren't too close, but not so distant that you don't even talk, because someone could end up hurt. try and get to know her better