I'm 15 and the guy i'm dating, and have been dating for 7 months is 17, so it's a bit of an age difference and when it comes to some of the uh i guess sexual things that couples our age do i'm kind of hesitant, and he's older so he wants to experiment and do things that make me really nervous... we've talked about it and he respects me (i guess) and he says that when i'm ready he's ready etc. etc. but then yesterday and last night he stayed at one of his friends camps with a few of his close friends, including a couple girls who apparently were giving him advice about stuff or something and he said to me today "what they said really made me think, about us, and what kind of person i want to be. I just think i am ready to go further than i have been and could be willing to take on the responsibilities of such activities." uhh so that made me realllly nervous because tomorrow i'm going with him and his family to his camp for 3 days and i have a feeling that we're going to be alone alot and i know he's going to try stuff. I just hate having to say no to him all the time because i feel like he gets frustrated. i'm not a baby, its just that i know we'll probably be dating for another 7 months; and if we, let's say continue to round the bases, then pretty soon we'll be having sex, which i don't want to do, mainly because i'm only 15 and not ready for that but also because i'd like to save myself for someone really special (like my future husband) anyway, i don't really know what i'm looking for advice-wise i basically just wanted to let that off my chest, because its really bothering me...bleh

hmmmmmmmm......... let me put it like this.he tries anythin' ya dont want ta do tell 'im. he doesnt stop, kick his ***, then screw him. dont hesitate. if ya know someone isnt good fer ya, screw 'em. if he respects yer space, good, but i doubt it.

Weathervane if you say you are not a baby then don't act like one. As long as you continue to be alone with him and put yourself in situations that could lead to sex then you are thinking about sleeping with him. No matter how many times he says he understands he really doesn't or he wouldn't even try to do anything you are uncomfortable with. If you are going to save yourself for your future husband then you can't date guys that just want to experience. Guys don't marry ****s just remember that. Also if you decide to sleep with him make sure you're protected, because I don't need any more of my money taken form my checks to support another kid on welfare.

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Originally posted by cherrycokebt:
i wish i woud've asked for help...or at least vented to SOMEBODY! but...i just became so close to my bf, that i lost all my closest friends...so i had no one to turn to when i gave him my heart (and virginity) when he broke up with me. i was 15, he was 17. if i could go back, i wouldn't have done it. i wasnt sure where i stood on that issue when the probablem came up...so yea. my advice..is to wait..and save it for that special guy. (husband)

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hey bexy, if u ever have a problem like that with me. its cool. we dont have to, cuz i dont really want to, cuz i want us to be together for an extreemly long time. and that stuff can only make things weird....yeah ~your sweetness~

The way I see it, just because he's telling you he respects you and wants to wait until you're ready doesn't mean anything. He can say these things and then go right ahead and subconsciously pressure you into sex. What you have to go by is how he makes you feel, and he's clearly making you feel uncomfortable. If you're afraid of being alone with him, something is definitely wrong. You should be able to tell him "no", and he should be able to accept this without making you feel guilty at any level.

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And this is coming from a sex deprived guy :-p

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Ditto. Why is it the nice guys finish last?

My solution:

Tell him you're not ready, and won't be for a long time. If he has any trouble with that, or continues to pressure you, break up with him. Simple as that. Yeah it's nice to have a girlfriend/boyfriend, however if you're not mutually happy, then what the hell is the point of continuing it?

And this is coming from a sex deprived guy :-p

keep your head high and your legs closed

i wish i woud've asked for help...or at least vented to SOMEBODY! but...i just became so close to my bf, that i lost all my closest friends...so i had no one to turn to when i gave him my heart (and virginity) when he broke up with me. i was 15, he was 17. if i could go back, i wouldn't have done it. i wasnt sure where i stood on that issue when the probablem came up...so yea. my advice..is to wait..and save it for that special guy. (husband)

if you feel that strongly about all this then maybe you should dump him or tell him exactly what you said here.

He's a cad; dump him.

And oh, wait.. i have an advice, that guy is not worth it. If he truly loves you, he should wait for you and not think only of his own feelings. If a guy is really in love with you, he shouldnt force you into anything you are uncomfortable doing. For me i think its ok if you kiss and just do some playful sexual whatever like being close and stuff but not sex and make sure that you wont go too far.
I admire you for saying that you would wait for your marriage coz thats what im trying to do too. well, thats that... hehe

Ok, im kinda confused here coz like you said there is an age difference? My gosh, that is not a problem with you being 15 and him being 17. I think that is perfect. Well, what do you want then? 15 year old girl with a 30 year old guy? Or a 15 year old guy with a 30 year old woman? You know, girl, all you have to do in that kind of relationship is be yourself, set limits and dont try to do what most teens are doing like drinking, sex and drugs. That would do you no good but i will tell you that age difference you were saying is actually not a problem as long as you know how to set limits for your relationship.

Don't do anything your not comfortable doing. Really if he has a problem wiht it, hes not worth your time. My friend had a boyfriend like urs. She gave in though, turns out he only wanted her for the sex, sweet huh? well anyway, as soon as he sleep with her he left her, braking her heart. I'd also like to say how happy i am to here that you want to stay a virgin until you have a husband.

Well, since you obviously don't have the brain power to think for yourself, maybe you should sleep with him.

Don't do anything you're not comfortable doing. If you say no, he should respect that. Like Sunset said, if he pushes you, dump him.

Tell him no. If he still tries to push you, dump him. He isn't worth your time and guys are stupid.
-Sunset