My parents are so controling it drives me crazy for instince ive never been to a real dance, ive never been to a friends house but one cause they're church friends, etc but its got to the point where i cant even do what i want anymore i need other peoples opinions on what to do.

wel firstly i think that you should not do anything rash or you know something that hasnt been well thought out....
now for the standard story of my life lol
wel my parents sent me back home (to NZ) to live with my aunt and unkle (my dads siblings) coz education in Samoa isnt that great........
wel i gues u could call them controlling but lyk dat is just how they are......
i gues i have spent ages and ages geting angry at my lack of independance and freedom and bla bla bla but at the end of the day i have learnt that they will not change......
i guess that is not what you want to hear but that is only the ending of my story
your ending could be whatever and i suppose i am hoping my ending will change too....
all i can further advise you to do is to communicate with them........
try to have a civil conversation with them with calid points which would ACTUALLY make your parents think twic not just like " Well mum and dad i think you should because everyone else is....." Um conversation stopper that one is.........
wek good luck with your mission and yea....
hope that this helps

hmm k the 18 year thing is not gonna help especially with a church family. i've grown up with sheltered kids and know how it can be as my mom has gotten stricter over time. My one friend was on the verge of suicide because of her parents and their rules (no sarcasm or exaggeration here) sum of which are truly ridiculous. but being in college does change parents slightly. U can try to make ur parents understand that if they continue they will slowly push u out of their lives. the more u get out into the world the less ur gonna wanna come home especially to that environment. My one friend went to korea and wouldn't even come home for christmas.they may not realize how their rules are affecting ur relationship with them. there really is no right solution but to hang in there. concentrate on ur studies in university and remember it truly is amazing what u can get away with and what sum parents don't realize.

quote:

Originally posted by Wolfie:
you can't change ppl you can only change how you react to them.

I like this answer. It's kinda what I have been trying to tell you from the start but Wolfie def. put it into better words for me. Don't get so upset by what they do. Just keep doing what you want (within moral means that is). If they can't understand that ur not them and that u r your own person with ur own goals and makes ur own decisions then who cares? Just show them that u can be a good person without their constant control. and btw there is tons of things you can still do even if they are controlling. Just find things to do that they approve of or if u really wanna do something else i guess u'd have to be sneaky about it. lol

u'll be 18 soon so no worries. Everything will get better... i promise.

you can't change ppl you can only change how you react to them.

it;s hard to say what to do because for me my parents do not care for instince my dad is in jail and my mom is an ex druggie and is a very violent and unreadable alchoholic iv basically raised myself so i would actually be kind of happy to know tht my parents care enough about me to try to protect me from reality and the dangers of the world around me but on the other hand tht is a little bit to protective parents do need to loosin up a bit and let teens explore or they will soon begin to regret them being their parents

Good point but when you live in the middle of nowhere its hard to find someone else to depend on.

Yeah, you could conceivably move out on your own, go to school part time while working full time, and finish in six or seven years. It'd delay your career a bit, but it is a way out.

Plus, it's better than going to prison after snapping and murdering your entire family.

quote:

but I have to live iwth them during college due to money issues.

You don't have to do anything! At 18 it's totally possible to get a job and support your own rent - A lot of us do it! Unfortunately, as long as you rely on your parents for financial support, they're going to have a large say in what you do and even how you do it. Sadly, these are facts of life and you don't really control your own life until you're supporting yourself!

Ok, that's it! I am just completely pissed at your stupid parents for all this bull they put you through. (sorry for the language, but it's true) Just get emancipated and live with a friend for a few months until your 18 or find a friend who you can live with all through college. Apparently this might be the only way out of the situation you're in. And I'm sure you could find someone. I would even let you live with me if all else failed! I just don't think that you should have to put up with that for any longer than necessary if you really don't want to.


and by the way...i was really mad when i wrote this so unless you actually think it would be logical advice don't do it cuz I tend to not think straight when I'm upset.

I wouldve done that along time ago if i couldve there are no close relatives to me except my grandparents but the go to the hospital almost monthly now. And if you thought that was bad they just grounded me for getting my hair cut army style!!! how rediculous is that!!

I can sympathize with you on this one, my parents aren't quite as controlling as yours sound, but I get to live with them all through college!!! YAY. My only hope is to get into on campus housing or move in with my sister (eww! :/she would charge me rent!:/)

You don't have, like, an older sibling who has moved out, an uncle or aunt, a grandparent, a close friend. Almost anyone would be better than living in a dictatorship-style home. As long as they arent a psycho killer, stalker, rapist, satanist... I would just get out!

Good luck.

If i could find somone else to live with i would but i dont see that happening and yeah they would keep it up as long as im around.

Couldn't you find someone else to live with if it's that bad? They wouldn't keep it up if you were 18 would they?

Thanks for the adivce but again ive tried all of that and I turn 18 at the end of the year but I have to live iwth them during college due to money issues.

OK...to start with, that is simply awful and goes beyond controlling. That's simply control.

First: I like the whole talking it out advice. It's the best idea. make sure they know you are not going to do anything wrong...maybe even throw in a comment about what great parents they were to raise you right (just for brownie points)

Seriously, I think you should just wait it out though. Things will get BETTER!! They always do When your 18 they can't say anything about anything you do anymore and if they do you can just move out or even ignore them (not the best idea in my opinion) Actually if it's that bad i would suggest a good case of rebellion might sink in with them. Show them you don't wanna live by their rules forever but do it without getting yourself in any other trouble except with them. K?

thank you serena for the advice but unfortunately ive tried that for years and they wont let up. I come from a family of christians and because the 10 commandments thing they believe i have no say in anything and their say is final.

Kharybdis, excellent '80s dance movie reference. Just dance it out...

Serena, I think that's really solid advice.

The best thing that i can tell you to do is to try and sit down with them and talk to them. Explain to them that you need freedom, that you are mature enough to handle that freedom and you will not abuse it (hopefully). That's what I did with my parents, I told them I did not understand what the problem was when I was not going to go out there and do drugs or drink or anything, I just wanted to spend time with my friends.

Also, you must prove to them that you are mature enough not just say it. So it might take a little bit to convince them but they should come around.

here's what you do.

you go out, to a smoke shop

buy as many bongs, pipes and paraphanilia as you can.

buy a crap load of marijuana.

go to your house and completely clam bake it.

then when your parents come home flip them the bird and take another bong rip.

that should help them to ease up on you.


jkjk, just tell them "this is bs, can I please see so and so" have them meet them and all that good stuff and if you still can't go over someone's house well then you're parents are bs.