My brother recently died in a car accident at the age of 18. Two weeks ago, he was driving down a rural road and came to an intersection with tall grass and no stop signs. Neither driver could see each other, and a truck hit my brother on the driver's side, snapping his neck, causing internal injuries, and killing him. The injury that killed him was a severed vertebrae.

For two weeks now, all I have heard in my head was the morning my parents woke me up and it was still dark...all I can hear is "It killed him."

It's hard to put into words what it is like...what I feel...everything. And it feels like I'm living a bad dream. It's hard for me to stand strong when everyone in my home is crying, I want to cry, and I still have to go to school and keep from crying.

In addition, my boyfriend of six months had broken up with me about a week and a half prior, and I still love him, but he just...

it's been a really hard August, and September is just continuing pain. I don't know what to do...or how to cope..I need help to cope. Can anyone help me?

I know your pain, I had a few guy friends and I that were riding to a movie five years ago, and came to an intersection and couldn't see either. All three of them died and I was the only one that walked away with a concussion and a broken arm. It will take a lot of time to numb the pain, and it may never go away. Stay involved in things with friends. Your friends and family will help you through this. And its okay to cry, even at school. For me that was one of the only ways I could feel better. I know that losing a brother is more intense than three best friends, but cry. Cry your eyes out. And think about the good times. Wear something that reminds you of him. It will be hard but hey i'm here if you ever need to talk. I know what you're going through.

Sorry for the double post, but i can't edit...

Check this out, i wrote this for my aunt not to long ago.

http://bivampire.livejournal.com/2514.html

My aunt committed suicide when i was in fourth grade. This might not be reassuring, but the pain is still there for me. I have had dreams about talking to her on the phone, and then woken up. I think that what ikki said, "Death ends a life, Not a relationship" is totally right.


Now that i think about it, i should write her a letter, tell her how i felt, how i still feel. Write a letter to your brother, tell him how you feel. it might help.

And once again, i'm very sorry about your loss.

PixiePandemic,

I understand your pain so much that it hurts. As Ikki mentioned in the post below, my brother was killed on April of this year, it has been the most horrific experience of my life. I am so sorry for you loss.

Ikki has given many good points and advice, so there isn't much more for me to say. However, if you'd like to talk about it, I am open for that. I cannot tell you how to feel, because everyone experiences grief differently. But support from others definitely helps, so I offer mine with all sincerity. Please don't hesitate to NoiseMail me and ask for my email or messenger.

And remember the quote Ikki gave you, which is very true.

"Death ends a life, not a relationship."

I hadn't visited or posted on this site for some time, but I couldn't let this thread go unnoticed.

It'll take time. My close friend was killed almost a year ago (incidentally, 4 days after my boyfriend of a year broke up with me), and last night was one of the worst nights I've had since the week following the funeral, so be warned: It'll get worse before it gets better, and it'll never completely go away, but with time, it will get better.

There are pro-active things you can do. One thing I highly recommend is to talk to your parents about at least you going into grief counseling. It's really nice to have an impartial person to listen to you discuss every single emotion that you can not share with anyone else.

You don't have to "stand strong," either. Crying is NOT a sign of weakness, and it is DEFINITELY okay to cry.

If you have friends who are willing to listen to you and who can give you a shoulder to cry on, use it.

If you can think of a way to memorialize him, and it will help, do it. There's a memorial where my friend was killed, and I visit it a lot, taking feathers or colored leaves or letters that I write and help keep it up as well. Another member of this site lost her brother in April, and she created a memorial for him on http://www.memory-of.com/Public/. Whatever you chose to do, having a way to remember him is a nice thing.

Also, if you feel like talking to him, do so. Write letters, talk outloud, if he has a myspace/facebook/blog, leave him messages. As Morrie said in Tuesdays With Morrie: "Death ends a life, not a relationship."

Those are just some basic ideas in which you can do to help the grieving process. It will take time, though, and there will be countless emotions that you never thought you would feel, but it will get better with time. I wish the best of luck to you in getting through these next couple of months.