Question:
what happens when your life changes so drastically that you refuse to live the new life you are given? and after a year or so realise this cannot go on anymore. but it has come to a point where everything you have done becomes irreversible? you are incapable of love or friendships with other people? when you have forgotten how to smile,laugh or cry because you have forced yourself into a mock existence for such a long time? i need to know if anyone has ever felt the same and how or if you have overcome it.

Choices:
it seems i am a very stubborn person

 

wow, you guys are really sweet. i was actually terrified how people would react towards this post. lol, i even accidently hit the polls button instead of the message one.

anyway, i have tried many things to fit into my new life. i even took up old passions, but i am much to busy at the moment to "fix" things accordingly. in the last month i even got into touch with alot of good friends from previous "lives", will call them, and i've never done that before. i'm not so sure what to think at the moment. for example, i just had a very..um...mind boggling dream where my past and present collided to something that could be my near future. does that make sense? anyway, thank you all for your very supportive replies.

no one has ever really pitied me for any of this, because to be honest i've never really talked about it. i'm just now, after nearly four years coming out completely. i advise anyone in a similar situation to "come out" more quickly. thanks again!

I've felt like that for a while now, only, this time around I don't feel the need to have people pity me about it because I know I've cause every peice of melodramatic event that has occured this school year. I have all the same syndromes or whatever, "forgetting how to have a relationship/smile/talk etc." I've been told countless times, "It's a phase/You go through this in high school/ Lifes to short to be anything but happy, so stop trying to act so dead."

But personally, I think that when you can no longer acsept the past, you're better off just moving on and starting over.

-Nicole
Jeez, I'm bored.

i know what you mean.. i've gone to a new school which changed me for the worse.. i think.. but i learned to live it down.. if the circumstances doesn't quite go my way.. ill make the circumstances do....

email me if you need anything

audreeeeeeeeee@yahoo.com

When you feel that you cannot go to doing what you did before that made you feel, and you can't do anything with the life that you have now, you have to move on to yet another life, and make sure you do things that matter, that will make you happy or sad, regretful or joyous, pain and kindness. You have to make yourself over, becaome the person you have to or want to be. You either have to do this, totally remake yourself into something that you can stand or you have to do everything that you can to become the person you once were. It's easier to become somthing new, but you may not be as happy, so try to be something like you once were, even though you can never fully be that person again, and have that life.