I can't seem to socialize anymore. It really makes no sense to me whatsoever. Back in the eigth grade, I was extremely insecure. I was beyond frightened of what people thought of me. BUT, my personality still came out. I was very talkative and had tons of fun with my friends despite the fact I was uncomfortable. Well ever since the end of 8th grade, when i realized I wanted to become less insecure, I've been self counseling myself to become happy with who I am. I am happy for the most part these days as I'm about to become a junior in high school because I have completely rid myself of all my insecurities...at least that's what I'm hoping. I've been through a lot of drama this year: Someone I use to kinda look up to let me down hard, and the one guy I knew for sure I was in love with stopped talking to me. I've held in a lot of repressed anger and sadness from january to may and I think it took a lot of motivation/energy from me. The summer started out fine but then somewhere in june it's like I completely forgot how to make conversation...with my OWN FRIENDS. Nowadays, whenever I hang out with them I just sit there quietly while they talk. I just don't know what to say anymore...And it's really bothering me cause I know it's going to affect my relationships with everyone. I use to be so open and wild but now I'm quiet and it's like I don't know how to have fun with my own friends, the kids I love being around so much. Soon I know that they will stop calling me to hang out cause I just sit there. You can't have fun all the time by not talking and just sitting there. Jeez, I can't even carry on a conversation with my best friend anymore who I've known for 9 years. Can someone please help me? I can't figure this one out by myself...

OMG!! I'm glad to see I'm not the only one that feels like that.
I used to be reeeaally shy... well I kinda still am, but not as much and I've been gradually outgrowing it.
Yeah that's been happening to me too like you just don't know what to say and you feel like you might as well be a tree or something.
oh well let's hope it is a phase
And I'll start trying what meagan said, it sounds like it could really help.

Have you thought of maybe going to talk to someone about this?

I sometimes don't know what to talk about with my own friends either, because I am so caught-up with my own thoughts and issues that I literally can't think about anything to say. I don't know if that's what's going on with you exactly? But could you maybe try talking to one of your friends that you're close to about THIS problem you're having? Maybe if you let one of you're friends know what you're going through not only will you feel better (because she/he will understand, and that way you don't have to worry about them thinking this or that about you being quiet) but also maybe they can actually help you out. I know it's not easy to let people in, really hard in fact, but maybe you could give it a try anyway, there's nothing to lose really, right? even if it's only with one of your friends.

EDIT: wow this is old, I just saw the date, hadn't checked before posting.

I am totally going through the same thing!!!!!!

it's hella weird it's like all my friends arounf me always know what to say when to say it and it's been so long since we've talked that I don't know what they're talking about anymore so I don't know what to say!

ugh......I think it might be a faze.....like seriously. my life happens in fazes maybe yours does too? just a random thought. I used to be little miss emo wanabe goth freak wanabe......basically I was a loud ass loser...but now I'm the quiet little girl who kinda dresses in her own style of trendy o.0

it doesn't make sense.

I'm so social. I've never been quiet... it is a big contrast to my mother who isn't social, AT ALL...

I used to be really quiet.

Then I hit a group of people that i just clicked with and none of them believe I was ever quiet or shy.

I used to be shy and quiet...because I've been to four different schools...and am about to move to the fifth...and I've had three different churches (if you don't go to church, I'm sorry, it's just one of my beliefs and social places). So I've had to make new friends everytime...I still have some of the same friends as from when I was little...but then I found my three best friends: Lorrie, Shelle, and Chelsea...they totally helped me break out of my shell...they would just out of nowhere start singing and/or dancing and always say crazy random things. And slowly but surely I just started acting like them in a way...I was always like that really but I was just afraid of what people would think...and I just finally let go and talk about anything with them...anything...the first thing to come into my mind...and it works.

Even though you may think you have no control over your shyness, you do! These people have been your friends for a long time. I'm sure if they strike up a conversation about something you can relate to it, or have input on it, because you guys are friends and have things in common. Join in, even if it's something you don't know a lot about. I've been in a similar situation, and this advice helped me.

I've been there. But mine is Shyness.. I have spent most of my summer with this boy *my dad and his mom work together* and I only say a few words here and there.. And there is so much i wanna say so badly but Im afrid i'll sound stupit or something.. So I keep it in. But this also the First boy I really hanged-out with EVER!

You're right...it is a pretty tricky situation, one that I don't know that I have the right answer for you. However, I feel badly because you came here looking for help and no one has stepped up to the plate yet...let me tell you about my social situation, and maybe it will offer some sort of insight for you...


I used to have a really hard time in social situations. I knew my best friend since I was 3, and all of my other friends were her friends first. Then, around eighth grade, I started to really grow apart from my group of "friends". I went for a couple weeks, thinking to myself, "I don't have a single friend." It was pretty horrible. Yet, growing apart from those girls was probably one of the best things to happen to me in my life.

Suddenly, I was free of the burdens of my social group. I no longer had to associate only with people who were worthy of my, what I now know to be, clique. I ended up doing the same project in sewing class as these two girls (who were best friends) who I had known since fourth grade, and always treated like scum. A couple weeks later, one of the girls invited me to her birthday party, and I think we were both surprised when I said yes. Ever since that moment, the two of us have been inseperable. Almost five years have passed since then, and heck, I just got back from a midnight movie with her, her mom and my mom. Basically the point I guess you may want to draw, is maybe your social situation is changing for you for the better. You just never know what you are missing out on...

Something I personally would recommend, if you really feel uncomfortable not being able to join in in conversations: Spend time with little kids. Little kids love to gab, and you can say pretty much anything to them. In general, they are the least judgmental group of people on the planet and, if you are anything like me, you will find that you are able to open up around them much more than you are your own peers. Offer to hang out (aka babysit) a little cousin, niece, nephew, neighbor kid (not sibling...) for a few hours at a time, and hopefully the confidence you develop around that child will help you with people your own age.


Well...you wanted input, so I fabricated some for you...I hope it helps, at least a little...