Okay, I'm sort of paranoid that people don't like me. I've been like that all my life, and when I finally did find a few friends that I felt like I was actually true friends with, I started being homeschooled. Anyways, I'm a clique-crosser. I sort of have no friends that are there 100% of the time.

But just when I think I don't have any friends, something happens to make me think that everyone thinks of me as a friend.

Example: I work in theatre, and on our last play after the cast party, I was sort of off in a corner on my own, as I'm a techie (light technician, prop manager, or something like that) so I was sort of hesitant, being paranoid that I'd come off as annoying to the actors. So, right when I was about to leave, I sort of leaned over to another of the techies and said, "I need to go home now." Then, as I went and picked up my stuff to leave, I was bombarded by one of the cast members, and they yelled, "Hey everyone, [insert my name] is leaving." And I was then attacked by good-byes, hugs and high-fives. It was bizarre.

But then, I then I feel like I'm a clique intruder, so I'm sort of confused. Am I paranoid that no one likes me, and should I be worried that I'm like this? My sister is like this too, or so my mother says, and I'm just wondering, am I a clique-crosser? Am I an intruder? Would I come off as annoying, not really belonging in any clique, just sort of meandering around them all?

As you can see, I'm just totally confused about the whole ordeal.

That's exactly what I mean papercranberry. I'm just sort of on friendly terms with everyone, but I'm not exactly "friends" with anyone.

hubbabaloo, id say im in sort of the same situation as you. I've never really meshed into a clique, but im happy that way. I have close friends, but we're always somewhat detached. I get along with everyone, but i never have that feeling of truly fitting in.

but.. i dont care. x) some people may dare to call me a loner, but i see myself as FREE.

I found that I was kinda like you but I decide to forget cliques and groups and be me but I do cross over alot I hang with just about everyone from every group minus artists I really don't get along with any thing that may be considered art (I.E. photos, journalism, drawing, painting, etc) no idea why but I chill with: preps, jocks, otaku, comps, techs, band, theater and so on. why? no idea I just like knowing a ton of people all over the school

quote:

Originally posted by bauhaus:
youre a loner. Take some xanax, and you'll be alright.

Look at it this way, youre in theatre and so is everyone else who is there. They are all there because they have something in common, and thats perfoming arts. You should notice everyone might seem different but they are all there for the same reason. You shouldnt have any problems making friends with these people.


Being home-schooled is what got you in this situtation, you dont learn how to socialize. It will become much harder for you to socialize even later on because you wont know how to act right around other people.

Actually bauhaus, I have better social skills then I did when I was public schooled.

But I'll take your advice into account.

youre a loner. Take some xanax, and you'll be alright.

Look at it this way, youre in theatre and so is everyone else who is there. They are all there because they have something in common, and thats perfoming arts. You should notice everyone might seem different but they are all there for the same reason. You shouldnt have any problems making friends with these people.


Being home-schooled is what got you in this situtation, you dont learn how to socialize. It will become much harder for you to socialize even later on because you wont know how to act right around other people.

you really don't need cliques its better if you just be yourself

Every genius was called insane. Geniuses = controversy = "You're insane!"

Anyways, what are you going to do of the situation? Have you decided?

quote:

Originally posted by CelticNewAger:

quote:

Marquis de Sade, umm, he had some problems.

Nah, read something by him. Granted, he was insane. But, trust me, 99% of insane people are geniuses. His philosophies, though shocking, were true.

I doubt you come off as annoying, unless you try to hard. Then you would.

Well, Machiavelli's philosophies are shockingly true as well. *shrug* But they both belonged in padded cells.

quote:

Marquis de Sade, umm, he had some problems.

Nah, read something by him. Granted, he was insane. But, trust me, 99% of insane people are geniuses. His philosophies, though shocking, were true.

I doubt you come off as annoying, unless you try to hard. Then you would.

Well, thanks for the advice. I'd rather not be a hypocrite, and Marquis de Sade, umm, he had some problems. Serious ones. I can take the point in the others, I'm just having a hard time thinking of the Buddhism philosophy, as the center of my philosophy that I'm developing is, "Find your soul's sincere desire, not your body's and then, you will be free." Of course, I'm not living my philosophy, but I'm trying.

Yeah, cliques are bad, I was just wondering if I come off as totally annoying.

Hmmm....

The first step: stop with the paranoia. I used to be very paranoid, in a different sense, but still. My life's happiness has increased dramatically since I've left the paranoia behind.

You shouldn't be worried.

There are various things you can do:
- Be a hypocrite, but please don't, because when you have real friends they won't buy it.
- Just keep being you. It's your life, after all.
- Love yourself beforehand needing others to do so. If you don't, you will depend on people, instead of geniunely feel friendship/love towards them.
- Take on the "way of the psycopath" (as I call it): don't care. As a person who doesn't care much of anything thanks to being one, I can say I'm rarely affected by humans unless they say something that is REALLY horrible, and those things are few. But don't take this to an extreme as I did, because then you won't hvae remorse over anything.
- Take a Buddhism philosophy up: free your heart of all desires. Once you do so, you will not have expectations, so you won't be disillusioned or worried of people and how they feel of you.
- Do it á la Marquis de Sade. Just use people, dispose them, take another person, etc.

In any case, screw the clique thing. Cliques are like religions; they just fight one another. I doubt you want to spend your teenage years worried because the preps told the goths that they were X or Y. It's better to wander around them.

You'll get your group of friends soon enough, if you don't have any, enjoy your solitude. I spent around 2 years in near complete isolation from the teenage world, but I've grown thus much spiritually and learned so much I wouldn't take that back.