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Picture of nattynaps
Registered: October 21, 2003
Posts: 558
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My friends mother just died of cancer yesterday and I want to be there for her and let her know She can talk to me about if she wants, but I'm confused on how to help her through this I dont want to be the one making her think so hard about her mothers death but I also dont want to come off as someone who doesnt care.


Until the day The dream of lasting peace, world citizenship Rule of international morality Will remain in but a fleeting illusion To be pursued, but never attained Now everywhere is war, war-Bob Nesta Marley
Picture of allamerican07
Registered: April 05, 2003
Posts: 6
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You are supposed to cry when someone is born, because they are born into a very mean world. And you are supposed to be happy when someone dies, because they are going to a better place. A place where there is no dying and no crying. A place called heaven. May God bless u all. Be strong.
Picture of depressedwavemaster
Registered: June 09, 2003
Posts: 5084
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My gramma just died. I wasn't that close to her, but everyone else was....


None of us can ever be free while others are still in chains. -Leslie Feinberg
Picture of nattynaps
Registered: October 21, 2003
Posts: 558
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Thanks everyone your advice has helped me alot Smile


Until the day The dream of lasting peace, world citizenship Rule of international morality Will remain in but a fleeting illusion To be pursued, but never attained Now everywhere is war, war-Bob Nesta Marley
Picture of fuzi
Registered: August 13, 2004
Posts: 91
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Be willing to listen. Be willing to give a shoulder to cry on, but also suggest fun activites. Don't try and make your friend forget her, but encourage her to go one with her life as the grief passes.


"Forget regret, or life is yours to miss."
Picture of iamastar
Registered: June 22, 2004
Posts: 2343
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I had a friend who lost her mother two years ago so my best advice is to let her grieve. Let her know that if she needs or wants to talk that you'll be there for her. Just be there for her as a friend and don't be hurt if she doesn't come to you right away. Letting her know you are there when she needs someone and letting her have her space until she needs someone is essiental. Don't push her into talking to you because that will just push her away. When she is ready to talk she will talk. I am sure for her just knowing you are there when she's ready makes her feel good.


I have not yet reached my goal, and I am not perfect. But Christ has taken hold of me. So I keep on running and struggling to take hold of the prize. My friends, I don't feel that I have already arrived. But I forget what is behind, and I struggle for wha
Picture of Aguagon
Registered: March 08, 2004
Posts: 1686
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Your presence matters more than anything else. As Sunset said, she'll talk to you when she's ready. Until then, just spending time with her will let her know that you're ready to listen when she's ready to talk.


And then, as the books were told, Fina replied: "A can of worms, my dear friend? What has this to do with reason?"
Picture of taurusgirl
Registered: July 13, 2004
Posts: 372
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Let your friend know how much you care about her. Tell her you are there for her ,let her know she can come to you to talk. Ask her if there is anything you can do. It is important to be sensitive of course.If and when she is ready to talk about it , she will know she has you, and I'm sure that will mean alot to her. You sound like a very caring, good friend.
Picture of Sunset
Registered: October 17, 2003
Posts: 4608
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Just let her know that she can talk to you when she is ready, and if she doesn't want to talk, that's fine. People who lose family members don't want to talk at first and want to be left alone. They're so many different stages. She'll come to you when she is ready. She should know you care.
-Sunset Smile


Picture of nattynaps
Registered: October 21, 2003
Posts: 558
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She was battleing cancer for about 4 years and they wernt expecting her to live very much longer. Its scarying me what is happening to our world I know of 4 people with cancer that are very close to me and its becoming more common


Until the day The dream of lasting peace, world citizenship Rule of international morality Will remain in but a fleeting illusion To be pursued, but never attained Now everywhere is war, war-Bob Nesta Marley
Picture of GCMeyer
Registered: August 07, 2004
Posts: 10
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Don't be afraid to bring it up. Its not like you can just not think about it, especially when it happened resently. Just basically be there for her, like a shoulder to cry on. Ask her about her mom, you know, reminiss. You said her mom died of cancer. So it was expected right? how long did she have it, was she in hospice care at all? i hope i can help you more.


Carpe diem
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YouthNoise Home Page    Topics    Youth Speak Out | Chat | Activism  Hop To Forum Categories  YOUTH ISSUES  Hop To Forums  Peer-to-Peer Counsel    Dealing with the loss of a loved one