You, know, I was thinking tonight, that I'm tired of all these forums, of kids going on about their horrible lives. Yes, I'm sorry your life sucks, I'm sorry you were abused, but go find some real help. Going on about this shit to random people you don't know accomplishes very little. Expecially all you newbs that come, post a long, very hard to read thread and take off. I'm sick and tired of it, life sucks, get over it. Depression comes with life, everybody goes through it. You know, you can sit back and cry about how hard you life has been or you can go out and do something about it. Fuck, stop sitting on your ass crying about how the world is so unfair to you, get over yourself, it ain't just you its screwing with. Basically, my advice to all you out there is to go get a hobbie or something, move on for fucksake. I know it can be hard, but do you really want to stay sitting there in self pity for the rest of you miserable life? Cause thats what you're going to be doing if you don't take initiative and do something to fix whatever broken state you're in. Some days are going to be shit, thats life, like I said, get over it, accept it. Don't let down days effect you.
I know you're probably readin this post and thinking, "who the fuck does she think she is?to tell me to move on with my life?" Well I can tell you, i've seen enough shit, and been through enough shit to tell you that its the best solution. I have my share of bad nights, and I've had my bad spells where I wanted to give up, but you can't let that bring you down. See, I've told very few people my intire story, out of fear of shocking them. Well I'm tired of not wanting to hurt people, so here it goes, some of it, some of you have heard peices of.
So yeah, I was abused as a kid. I use to get tied up and left, naked and cold in the middle of a forest. Then this guy use to feel me up, touch me ect. He also raped me with a stick, in the ass and he use to also get me to stand completely still and then hit me in the shins with a stick, and if I fell to the ground he'd scream at me to get back up. Another thing that he did, was he'd undress me, and then take this rope and put it between my legs and this rope ran up onto this log above us, and he'd pull on the rope and lift me off the ground (it hurt alot) He'd then tie off the rope, and I'd have to balance in that position on the rope. Then if he was really being a jerk that day, he'd pull on my legs. He did a lot of things, things that I can't even talk about.
Why did he do this? I have no fucking idea, but on top of it when I was older after this had all stopped I told my parents that this guy did this to me, she told me I was lying and to this day doesn't beleive me. She even lets my brother go over and visit his house.
So yeah, that doesn't count the fact that i lived in a home for some of my childhood, or that my dad use to beat me. Or that my parents have since basically disowned me.
I'm sorry if I offended anybody, I did state that it is hard to move one from shit, but that it is essential for individuals to do so. I know it isn't easy to move on, and I'm sorry if I came across like it is.
What I meant is you can't keep sitting back and letting things control your life, you need to do something about it. Whether its through medication, councilling, writing, drawing ect. These are all ways to help deal with stuff that has gone on, and a lot of them can be very effective. I understand that you can be doing all these things and still not be doing well, but atleast you're trying, and i have a lot more respect for somebody like that, than the 14 year old kid that wants to commit suicide because their parents care enough about them to actually give a damn about them.
Sometimes those that are "complaining" are not in the right state of mind. Or they simply have no one else in their life that will listen. The way I see it, they have every right to "complain" on YN. Sometimes it's our only comfort in life. The only thing that keeps us sane and in touch with reality. If I didn't come here to "complain", I'd spiral out of control and do something incredibly stupid.
It bothers me that you would be that cold, Triss. I commend you for having the ability to accept the harshness of life and move on, but there are others that simply can not. Why? Because we're insane. I'm slowly starting to suspect that my mind has split into more than one personality. It is extremely hard to move on and "get over it" when it is my only reality. All the time. Twenty four hours a day, seven days a week. If you do not like it, no one is putting a gun to your head and forcing you to read our rants.
I know what you mean, Triss. And I agree in a lot of the points you are making. However, sometimes it is necessary to vent. I know that we are not the best group of people one should look at for advice, but sometimes that's all some teenagers have. They can't let their real life friends or family members know. I have always felt that one should lower themselves to the level other people are, and help them to get to where you have with all of your experiences in life. We were there at one time, I remember myself seeking for ways to vent or for people to talk to. You live, you learn. And I think that one should try and have patience in order to guide others to the truth that we have found. I remember when I first joined YN the Peer-to-Peer board was the most frequented by me. I really wanted to help people, I really wanted to make a difference. And seeing all of those hands reaching out for some kind of helped called to me, and it was one of the reasons I stayed here. I wanted to make a difference in someones life. I know I am no one, but if there is anything I can do for anyone, I am more than willing to try. Perhaps I am completely wrong in the way that I view things, time will tell I guess. I am so sorry to hear about all of those things that have happened to you. You know well that I care about you deeply and consider you my friend. Just felt that I should bring this points up. I'm here for you though, if that counts for anything.
"In a time of universal deceit - telling the truth is a revolutionary act." - George Orwell
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