I have been having troubles with my boyfriend. He is in his 20's, working, etc. I'm 16, just chilling through highschool.

And this guy.....popped the question. No, not "May I **** you?", but you know the "Will you m-word..." me. I refuse to say the m-word because the word brings chills through my spine.

Of course, I said "No, maybe in a few years...". I wanted to actually say "**** NO! ARE YOU ****ING INSANE?!?!", but I held back.

I do love him. That's clear.

But I do not want to m-word him.

I'm SIXTEEN years old. I have yet to finish highschool, go to college, etc. I cannot get m-worded. And I won't. It would trash my life, and I have spent still too little time dating him to decide whether he is my soulmate or not.

I told him this yesterday. What did he do? He cried. And not like a little tears, but whimpering teary crying.

So he thought I had rejected him. I told him I hadn't. Now he is happy and lovey-dovey and cheesy. Now I am sick of him.

His obssession with me is ****ing overwhelming me. I have thought of breaking up with the guy, but truth is I love him as well.

Any advice?

Is he prepared to wait for an undetermined ammount of years? You love him, you're sick of him. Though you're in passionate love, do you have the "when all else has faded friendship" that you advocated yourself on the thread about marriage? (oops, m-word) You need a helluva lot more time to discover what it would be like to live with and commit to this guy. Why is he so eager for an immediate yea or nay decision from you? I think he is irrational of him to ask you at now, when you have so many more greater priorities and desires than tying ourself down. DON'T SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE AND AMBITIONS FOR THIS FELLOW. Focus on what you have got going now. Let yourself fall in love with him in the present moment, but tell him to consider it a no untill decided otherwise.

Wait till your in mid 20s before you start thinking about that...

you cant marry him yet anyway celtic, I havn't been to puerto yet to visit you.

No, I didn't break up with him. I was going to, but I found out the reason I was going to was a joke he made to get back at me for a joke I made.

I don't know. He asks me everyday what do I want, either yes or no, but I can't give him a clear answer.

I'd love to marry him. Cheesy (and YNers, appreciate it, since I don't tend to show feelings on YN), but I think he's the "one". But I don't want to get married now. We've been dating for less than 3 months, it's too soon.

Wow. I can't even imagine being engaged through high school. Heck, come to think of it I can't even think of anybody I'd want to marry.

I'd give advice, but I seem to remember Celtic saying she broke up with him. Or was that someone else?

Long engagements are usually bad news.

Just make it clear to him that this doesn't mean you don't love him---it just means you're not ready to "m-word" him. Communication is best here. Make sure that he knows that, while you're mature and love him, you are still only 16 and wish to wait to m-word him. In my opinion, he should understand this. I mean, hardly anyone gets married that young nowadays.

I've actually been in a similar situation (okay, not so much similar but...). My boyfriend is 18 and I'm 16. He's about to start his lifelong career and we're in love. I can honestly see myself marrying him. So I thought maybe he was going to pop the question before he left for boot camp. Well we've talked about it off and on and he actually told me that he was going to wait until I had graduated to ask me but that it was going to be sometime before we'd been together for 5 years.

But it got me thinking: What if he were going to ask me before he left? What would I say? And I came to the conclusion that I would say yes but we would have an enormously long engagement. In other words, committing myself but waiting awhile to actually go through the motions. And, hey, maybe he was just teasing me and he really will ask me before he leaves...at least I'll know what to say!

I've never really been in this situation before, so this might be sort of stupid. Hey. I'm 14. But if you really know you love him, offer to be engaged to him, but wait to get married. There is no such thing as soul mates, hun. There are a handful of people on this earth that I'd work well with, but you have to find the one that you fall in love with. If you think you really love him, just offer engagement, but not marriage yet, explaining to him that you want to finish high-school before you get married, if not college. Then again, if he's already working and such, perhaps you could marry him after high-school, and still go to college. That's if you love him. If you don't love him, just explain that you've had a really great time with him, but you don't think that you'd go together well.

okay i know you don't care much about age difference but he is twenty he has different umm wants than you do. I totally understand your response thought. I just tell him how you feel and that maybe you should hold off on the whole marriage thing for the time being. If he can't understand how you feel than he's not for you. i know thats painful to hear but its true. Love sucks doesn't it ?