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Picture of hubbabaloo
Registered: November 27, 2003
Posts: 1512
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Okay, so a friend of mine...well she told me of a night with her boyfriend which involved what could be described as sexual abuse (aka, he forced her to have sex with him, when she had said, "no." and told him to stop through the entire process).

So, she's still actually in love with him, so she doesn't want to tell, knowing that he would be in huge trouble. But I really think that she should tell. However, I promised her (maybe not intelligently) that I'd let her do the telling. But I don't know if I should have said that.

Help?


Just because nobody understands you, that doesn't mean you're artistic.
Picture of iamastar
Registered: June 22, 2004
Posts: 2343
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Look, you're her friend. If you don't think that she's going to tell, than do the telling for her. There are just more important things to be done than to sit around and do nothing. Put yourself in her shoes. If it happened to you and you told a friend and you weren't going to tell, wouldn't you at least want your friend to tell for you? This guy could and would easily do it again to some other girl. And if he's done it to your friend, think about all the other girls he's gone out with and done that too. Don't just tell for your friend. Tell for all the girls he's had the chance to do that too.


I have not yet reached my goal, and I am not perfect. But Christ has taken hold of me. So I keep on running and struggling to take hold of the prize. My friends, I don't feel that I have already arrived. But I forget what is behind, and I struggle for wha
Picture of singer500
Registered: November 25, 2005
Posts: 159
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That's rape. He needs to get in trouble!! no one should have to go through that. You need to tell. If she stays in that relashionship it is going to get really bad!! In the end she'll thank you. But a good friend would want to help their friend. Help = telling
Picture of CelticNewAger
Registered: December 11, 2003
Posts: 9501
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I'm sorry, that's rape.

The truth is, if she allows herself to be treated like that by someone she "loves", she's destined for misery.

And no man who loves a girl forces sex. NONE.

And, take in mind how she uses the word "love". Sometimes, when this happens and the girls says "I LOVE HIM!", it actually means "I'm too afraid to tell so I'm just gonna convince myself that I love him even if he makes me miserable."

You've to tell. She'll eventually be thankful for it. Trust me.

G'luck.


"Regardless, I have always, and will always, succeed."
Picture of BonaFide91Reverie
Registered: November 09, 2005
Posts: 31
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In my opinion, that is considered rape...if she said no, and he didn't stop then it is....you should tell someone.....what if he keeps on forcing her?


aLejAndRa...The Killers Fanatic!!!!!!! http://www.myspace.com/bonafide_reverie91
Picture of ampmaster
Registered: February 22, 2004
Posts: 13958
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Gotta tell hubbabaloo theres no way around it, your friend may hate you forever but you will have improved her life (also try to get her to get an STD test)


"The very existence of flamethrowers proves that sometime, somewhere, someone said to themselves, "You know, I want to set those people over there on fire, but I'm just not close enough to get the job done"."
Picture of Softball_chica08
Registered: December 19, 2004
Posts: 76
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Ok...he didnt beat her, but she did say no. That is rape. Weather you put it nicely or not. its rape, it wasnt wanted. You should tell...do her some good...you may feel like a shitty ass friend, but believe me, your helping her out...also, make sure you help her get tested, pregnancy and otherwise. Because, I just recently had sex without pertection, it was choice, got caught up..Thank god i'm not pregnant. MEMBER PEOPLE ALWAYS USE PROTECTION!!!!
I dont know...all I can say for you Hubbabaloo...do what you think is best..=)


This one time @ band camp....
Picture of reallynow
Registered: November 16, 2005
Posts: 380
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Ok ok I've been down this road before. You need to bail her out. Get her away from him. This is the reason why I hate the guys at my school. Well not all of them but most. Lets say there is a guy named ben and he raped my sister and got away with it. Then he did something similar to a good friend of mine. Now he is after my girlfriend. Yeah I know it just keeps getting peachier. But guys like that will not stop at anything to get what they want as you already know. Your friend needs out of that relationship before anything happens. (ex. Pregancy, Physicall abuse or STI's) I have helped alot of girls through this and I already know your friend needs out. Even if you have to secretly have to tell someone. Truth is your friend has told another person too, so use that as cover. She needs help. It's your job as a friend to be the safer one and get her help even if she hates you at the time later she will thank you. Well I hoped this helped.


Our future is burning red hot with causes, but are hiding in the winds of change. Now its time to raise the stakes.
Picture of hubbabaloo
Registered: November 27, 2003
Posts: 1512
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quote:
ve that you should tell. Because, the same type of thing has happened to me before. I told a friend, and she promised not to tell anyone...she didn't tell anyone for awhile, but she could see that it was still hurting me, so she told her mom, who told my mom. I think it'd be better off for your friend if you to


She's not actually in the relationship now, she broke up, but she wants to go back. She's trying to say that it wasn't really sexual abuse...he didn't beat her or anything. I keep telling her that she should tell. If he did it after she said no, than it's sexual abuse right? She's promised that she'd tell a school counselor.

I just keep trying to get her to tell a school counselor at least, but she keeps saying, "Oh, it's fine. I was birth control to keep my periods steady. It's fine." But birth control pills are easily fooled, and either way, he wasn't using a condom, so she could get STD's (she found out that he has a very wide sexual life).

I don't know what to do. I really don't want to break her trust. I've always thought that that's the worst thing someone could do for their friend is betray their trust.

But I've also always thought that sexual crimes are worse than murder. Sexual purity is the most disgusting thing to violate in my opinion.

But she really doesn't want her mom to freak out of forbid him to see her.

Personally, I'd like to beat him against a wall, but she won't have that either. I know I'm female and he'd probably be able to get away, but I'd give him a piece of my mind. Anyways...

I know that I should tell, it's better for her...but I don't want to betray her trust.


Just because nobody understands you, that doesn't mean you're artistic.
Picture of Softball_chica08
Registered: December 19, 2004
Posts: 76
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Hm...Thats a tough one. I believe that you should tell. Because, the same type of thing has happened to me before. I told a friend, and she promised not to tell anyone...she didn't tell anyone for awhile, but she could see that it was still hurting me, so she told her mom, who told my mom. I think it'd be better off for your friend if you told. I know that she may hate you for it, but you have to remember that your doing it because you care about her, and that she really shouldn't be in that relationship anymore, she may love the guy, but hes so not worth her time...Goodluck on whatever you decide...tell me the outcome...


This one time @ band camp....
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