Hey all, I am a male and almost 17, and have a question. We lived in the states last year for 7 years. (we moved here to Germany after 7 years of living in the states) and for the last 3 years of being in the states, i seriusly started feeling wierd, I couldnt sleep, i ate different (one min i like one food the next i hated it) And i always though "Would any one notice if i killed myself" and i cried myself to sleep almost everynight for the past 2 years. I knew ppl who cut themselves, and id ask myself it it hurt, if i should do it too. But i never have. We moved to Germany again, and it all stoped, but i still get "fits" sometimes, where i am in bed crying with a pillow in my face, shaking, and almost ripping my hair out, And When i do this its always about my sister. And its a LOT worse than how it was when we lived in the states, and i ask myself more often would anyone notice if i wasnt here. (the worst one that has happend was when i found out my aunt hgot cancer.) But their not as often, ive had aout 3 since we have been here. And i think their triggered when a quick emotional change happens to me. To fully understand this, you probobly have to understand me a little more. I grew up in Germany, and we moved to the states, leaving family and everything behind. my sister has downsyndrom, and she moved in with a family that have a downsyndrom child. So i have a sister, but she dosnt knwo i exist. I have not seen her since i was... 5 or so. It is just hard. And i dont understand it. this would be the first time i have ever mentioned it to anyone, because i am someone to hold everything in. i dont tell ppl that im mad, and when i do, i jsut blow up at them... So my question is should i tell someone? I quess i never have because i dont whant to cause my mom stress. She has enough of it already.... Thx, any advice would be great

Well Pal, I think that you are being as strong as you can be! This world can get pretty crazy soemtimes, as you must already know, but it will get better. You have to believe that! I think that, as hard as it may be, you should try to confront your mom. I'm sure that if you don't tell someone, you just might do something you will regret, and I'm sure your mom wouldn't want that to happen. If this doesn't work, I would try talking to a counselor or a teacher, if you are still in school. Or perhaps you could talk to a pastor, someone who doesn't know you personally. The most important thing is that you get yourself help, no matter what it may be. Pray, pray, pray is what my friend always told me, and it really helps too, well, if you believe in God. Whatever you decide to do, do it for you so that you may benefit from it! Hope this helps!

get assistance from a friend, family member or doctor. try writing and publishing your work on the internet or book. feeling good about yourself starts from you.

I suggest that you tell someone. I also bottle things up inside and I also have had thoughts such as you do, but I have started to talk about it with a friend. It helped me. I wish you luck with your problem.

It is ultimately your choice as to whether or not you would be willing to tell someone or not but I think that you should. Go and find someone that you trust - a friend, a teacher, a respected adult in the community - but just know that you don't always have to go to your mom about everything. I guess that is what growing up is all about, just being able to admit that you need help and being able to know where to turn to find it. I hope this helps.

Be strong.Face life but it takes great courage.
You see at the time I joined Youthnoise,I had a really bad family state.
I learnt to stop drowning myself in it by posting always.you know reading and coming to argue on youthnoise..it was a therapy.
People like joey,geminiangel(hello girl),uptowngirl,billybarrio really occupied my time so the family issues somehow become less frightening as such.
Try it out.

You need to seek help. If you don't know where to start, try the school counselor. Most schools have them, and they'll direct you to where you need to go.

Suicide is never a good answer to anyone... YOU NEED TO TELL SOME ONE THOUGH... I have a friend who is going through the same thing you are.... its depression. its actually a chemical imbalance. for you to get better you need to tell someone so you can get some medicine... you arn't a freak and there is nothing wrong with depression a lot of people get it... but you should tell someone so you can get the medicine and get better.

I'm not sure if you are a Christian, but remember this saying from the Bible:

"THIS, TOO, SHALL PASS."

Also, this Bible verse:
Psalm 23
A psalm of David.
1 The LORD is my shepherd, I shall not be in want.
2 He makes me lie down in green pastures,

he leads me beside quiet waters,

3 he restores my soul.

He guides me in paths of righteousness

for his name's sake.

4 Even though I walk

through the valley of the shadow of death, [a]

I will fear no evil,

for you are with me;

your rod and your staff,

they comfort me.



5 You prepare a table before me

in the presence of my enemies.

You anoint my head with oil;

my cup overflows.

6 Surely goodness and love will follow me

all the days of my life,

and I will dwell in the house of the LORD

forever.

In other words, the Lord will always be with you through all times of sorrow and of happiness. And, yes, if you kill yourself, your mom will be way more stressed then before. No, not stressed. Depressed. Try going to a counselor or a family member. Remember, it's you that's important, and if you never tell anyone what you're going through, it'll never end. So go tell your mom! She'll be happy you told her! :)

Contact me at christiansoldier92@yahoo.comif you wanna talk...

Go see a doctor, you have serious depression. psychiatrists are the ones that give you medication for your problem, psychologists are the ones where you sit and talk to them about your problems and they try and guide you. Normally youd talk to the psychologist first and they would recomend meds for you, so you can tell the psychiatrist those are the ones you need.

Sometimes the meds can make it worse, you have to closely talk with your doctor.

don't be afraid to talk your neck is more important then say your dignity or some BS you might have a serious problem that you need to have taken care. As a side not no child should precede their parents to the grave you should bury them not the other way around belive me you dying would cause your mom a lot more stress than anything else on this earth.

Talk talk talk .. talking always helps .
The worse thing you can do is keep stuff inside thats what i do and i have friends who are mad at me because i dont talk about myself , i just let everything collect and deal with it in a ........not very nice way .
So please talk ..dont get caught into doing something else .
I find it easier to write . You can mail me anytime you want help .
just do me a favour and keep us posted okay .

in my personal opinion, you should tell someone. If youre parents are understanding and loving people, then I would sit them down, and explain what youre going through. They can then help you by getting you to see a therapist, or a counselor. If your parent arent exactly the Cleavers, then I would tell an adult you trust, like a teacher or guidance counselor. A lot of times, a guidance counselor at like your school cant really help you, but they should know professionals that can. I wish you the best of luck. If you want to talk, send me a noisemail. God Bless. -katie-