my sister knew someone who made a mistake by having a baby early on in life at about 17. the girl is now 21 and has a 3 year old daughtor and no husband 2 help take care of it. do u think she should have waited? what age do u think u can have a baby without ruining your youth?

The conclution to this thread: Stop and think for a second before doing anything life changing.

quote:

I think the right age to have a baby is when you don't feel the compulsive need to ask such a stupid question in the first place. Let me know when you are enlightened.

correct

I think the right age to have a baby is when you don't feel the compulsive need to ask such a stupid question in the first place. Let me know when you are enlightened.

We are, by nature, selfish human beings. By making the commitment/mistake/choice to have a baby you are accepting the responsibility of another's life. Not only are you the caretaker of that baby, but you also become the dependent. Until you feel you are in a place in life to be selfless and ready to offer the support and care- I think it is irresponsible and careless to say the least to even be engaging in activity that could potentially lead to the risk of having a baby. Protection or abstinence till marriage. It's not only about you.

I don't think that's true at all. Often people ages 20-24 are still struggling to find their own identidy. Also, most are unable to support a child fiscally at that point in their life. I think that the optimal age is 27+.

I think it's best to wait until after your teen years. I think the best age is between 20-24, as you can relate really well to the child, and are prepared for a baby.
If you have a child too early you are not ready, but if you have one too late it will be difficult to ralte to the child in later life!

I dont think age has too much of a respect to giving birth, however in todays day and age, under 16 and 18 I think that's too young, especially when things like this happen
http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/england/west_yorkshire/6193021.stm

"It is thought that the girl did not know she was pregnant"


Hence why I think its definately worth waiting until you atleast know how pregnancy works.
Realistically, I really think its important that in todays day and age you should be in a strong relationship that has the ability to support a child, and that the child is fairly planned atleast so it has a good quality of life, and so the mother is prepared for the lifestyle changes she might have to make.

whenever you are old enough to support a family, which i suspect is not the case at 17.

why is this in international relations?

okay, sorry about that.

quote:

Originally posted by phantom119:
If I listed every single exception it'd be almost like spam.

I'm not asking you to list the exceptions.

I'm asking you to refrain from making the generalization in the first place.

This still isn't international relations...4 years after the fact.

If I listed every single exception it'd be almost like spam.

Your generalizations are what catch you, phantom, as there are always exceptions.

Are you saying that a family with a married couple with an alcoholic/abusive father is more stable than a family with a single, sober, hardworking mother?

Also, you forget that, oftentimes, single-parent homes often incorporate immediate family. My aunt is a single mom and our family is very involved with her own small family. My parents and my grandparents see and spend time with her daughter often, as does she of course. This is a much more stable environment than the child would have if my aunt were married to her substance-abusing father.

As for the question of the topic, I think having a child while still enrolled in high-school is highly irresponsible. True, mistakes occur and sometimes it may be the result of rape. However, in most circumstances, it could have been prevented.

After high-school, I think any age can be appropiate for having a child depending on where you intend for your life to go. If you intend to go to college for four years and possibly even graduate school then pregnancy should be held off. If you plan to go straight into a career, then perhaps you would like to get a headstart on a family. Etc. It simply depends on the situation.

However, I think several other factors should be included as well: Maturity. Stable financial support (you can live on your own, you do not switch jobs often, your receive full-time pay and benefits). Some kind of help with the child (whether it be from the child's father, from a significant other or spouse you are currently with, or even from your own immediate family).

single-parent families are families, just not ones that are near as stable.

but otherwise, kudos to you.

So single-parent families aren't really families? What about a mom or dad who remarried? The newcomer parent isn't always "Mom" or "Dad" to the child, especially if he or she is used to the old (and absent) parent.

As you said, this is something that holds true in general. But not always. A boyfriend or girlfriend can provide the same sort of sense of security as a father or a mother would. It's all about how the child is brought up. If they were born into an unmarried couple, they would be perfectly comfortable with it.

Granted, there are other reasons to get married, but the welfare of the child is not one of them because married couples can be damaging as well.

Perhaps, but generally, a married couple will give the child a sense of an actual father and mother, not my mother's boyfriend. That forms a family, and the family is the basic unit of society (all societies).

It's funny how you link "marriage" with "stable relationship." With the divorce rate as high as it is, I'd say that married couples are no more stable than unmarried ones.

But financial support is definitely a must.

When you are ready for one. Meaning: You are mature, You have a stable job that can provide enough for the child (no free lunches), You have your priorities straight (you can't hang with your friends often if you have a kid), marriage is fairly important as it provides a more stable relationship for the child to be born into, it wasn't an accident.

To have a child you need to be physically mature. Many girls are ready physically at 13 years of age. Mental and emotional maturity on the other hand, may only come many years later.
To raise a child, you need financial support, and the vast majority of teenagers don't have that.
I'd say it's definetly a personal decision. You'll know you're ready when you're ready. You just need to have education behind the issue.