Have you ever been a victim of domestic violence? If so, did you do something about it or tell the authorities? I have some friends who have been victims but who somehow feel that what ever is going on at there house is normal. If you wanna know a little more about domestic violence and how it is really affecting people, here are some statistics:


Domestic Violence and Children


The U.S. Advisory Board on Child Abuse suggests that domestic violence may be the single major precursor to child abuse and neglect fatalities in this country.
Studies suggest that between 3.3 to 10 million children witness domestic violence annually.
In a national survey of more than 6,000 American families, 50 percent of the men who frequently assaulted their wives also frequently abused their children.
In 200 substantiated child abuse reports, the Massachusetts Department of Social Services found that in 48 percent of the case records, domestic violence was a barrier to case closing.
Children who witness domestic violence are more likely to exhibit behavioral and physical health problems including depression, anxiety, and violence towards peers.
They are also more likely to attempt suicide, abuse drugs and alcohol, run away from home, engage in teenage prostitution, and commit sexual assault crimes.
Slightly more than half of female victims of intimate violence live in households with children under age 12.
In a 1993 study, the Oregon Department of Human Resources reported that domestic violence was present in 41 percent of families experiencing critical injuries or deaths due to child abuse and neglect.
Men who as children witnessed their parents' domestic violence are twice as likely to abuse their own wives than sons of nonviolent parents.
One study of 2,245 children and teenagers found that recent exposure to violence in the home was a significant factor in predicting a child’s violent behavior.

Domestic Violence and Youth


Eight percent of high school age girls said “yes” when asked if “a boyfriend or date has ever forced sex against your will.”
Forty percent of teenage girls age 14 to 17 report knowing someone their age who has been hit or beaten by a boyfriend.
During the 1996-1997 school year, there were an estimated 4,000 incidents of rape or other types of sexual assault in public schools across the country.

I live in the ghetto you can't leave without getting pegged by somethin.....especally me.....not a ppl person...does that count

Oh, thanks bex, I'll look it up.

quote:

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Jen, I'm sorry you had to go through all that.

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Thanks, Bex. Love, Jen.

It's by Sarah Dessen. Good book. It starts off a bit cheesy and I thought I wouldn't like it, then it got much more powerful… I'd recommend it. It's really easy to relate to.

Becky

hmmm...who's the author to this book?
Just asking because I might read it or be interested in reading it.

I've never been abused, but my aunt was in an abusive marriage. The guy used to get drunk and hit her. One time he was drunk and threatening her and she picked up the phone and rang my nana and said 'mum, help'… then she ran out of the house with him chasing her and got to my nana's house which was nearby, fortunately. Huge family drama. Kind of scary. Him and my nana ended up having this standoff in the road with her saying she'd call the police and he threatened to kill her… Charming guy…

It really messed my aunt up for a while, but she's divorced now and remarried to a really lovely guy. Good thing she split with her ex-husband because since then he's put a girlfriend in hospital. He's got something seriously wrong with him, I think.

I read a book called 'Dreamland' about an abusive teenage relationship. I thought it explored the issue pretty well, I felt like I understood it a lot better after I'd finished.

Bex

PS Jen, I'm sorry you had to go through all that.

Some more statistics:

Statistics on Dating-Domestic Violence

1 in 3 teen relationships are abusive.
36% of teens reported violence in their relationship.
1 in 3 adult relationships are abusive
Dating-Domestic Violence affects the same number of people regardless of race, class, gender, religion, sexual orientation, etc…
95% of reported cases of dating-domestic violence to the police are committed by men against women
The remaining 5% of reported cases are committed by women against men (not in self defense), by women against women in lesbian relationships, and by men against men in gay relationships
60% of children who grow up in abusive homes will repeat the behavior, for example a boy who witnesses his mother being abused will grow up to abuse his future partner.
1 out of every 3 women murdered is killed by a current or ex husband or boyfriend.

Dating and Domestic Violence Statistics
Domestic violence is the leading cause of injury to women between the ages of 15 and 44 in the United States - more than rapes, muggings, and automobile accidents combines. (Surgeon General, United States, 1992)
A women is beaten every 9 seconds in the United States (Family Violence Prevention Fund Report 1994.)
According to the Center for Disease Control, a woman is in nine times more danger of violent attack in her home than on the streets.
Women are more likely to be victims of homicide when they decide to separate from their husbands. The risk of homicide is highest in the first two months of separation. (Wilson & Daly, Violence and Victims, 1993.)
Battered women are often severely injured - 22 to 35% of women who visit medical emergency rooms are there for injuries related to ongoing abuse. (Journal of American Medical Association, 1992.)
Domestic Violence is a significant cause of miscarriage and birth defects. (March of Dimes, 1992.)
Approximately 50% of the homeless women and children in this country are on the streets because of violence in the home. (Senator Joseph Biden, U.S. Senate Committee on the Judiciary, Violence Against Women: Victims of the System, 1991).
Within the last year, 7% of American women (3.9 million) who are married or living with someone as a couple were physically abused, and 37% (20.7 million) were verbally or emotionally abused by their spouse or partner. (The Commonwealth Fund, 1993.)
In self-reported data, 35% of adolescents mention at least knowledge of someone who experienced physical violence in a dating relationship. (Roscoe, B. and Callahan, J. "Adolescents' Self Report of Violence in Families and Dating Relationships." Adolescence, Vol. XX No. 79, Fall, 1985.)
Abusive men who kill their partners serve an average of two to six year terms. Women who kill their partners, usually in self-defense, serve an average of fifteen years. (NCADV Voice, Winter 1989.)

guys tend to not hit other girls except in abusive relationships because of the way we are brought up. Most of us (guys) have been told since we were little that you never hit a girl.

hmmm....well I do know this one guy who was sitting behind me in the bus. There was a bump and everyone moved foward becuase of a sudden stop. But then like about 30 seconds later the guy behind me pushed my head really hard foward, I guess he thought that it was funny and that maybe somehow I would have a late reaction to the the sudden stop. But he was deadly wrong. At first, I was like what the heck, what in the world was that? I turned and asked him what the hell was his problem, he just turned red and looked down while his friends laughed at him. It was wierd, and very rude.

Korith: I wish that had never happened to you...it's horrible that we live in a world where people do that kind of stuff. Especially pretending to be your friend, and then turning on you. Love, Jen.

On a side note: Why is it that guys beat other guys up, but not girls? Unless it's like a boyfriend/girlfriend thing.

Okay, well I'm all for listening. So you can talk my ears out any time you need to vent, we got a deal?

Well I guess it does count, I mean, it sounds like they were defentely bullying you, I can't believe so many kids actually act like this and hurt their peers in this manner. Just sad.

It's okay, my psychiatrist says I need to talk about it, and since I can't talk to "real" people, I'll talk here. And don't worry, I'll be fine. Love, Jen.

Girl, I'm so very sorry to hear that. My apologies, maybe I shouldn't have asked here. I really hope that you are doing as good as you say you are.

I used to get beat up all the time at an apt I used to live in.

There were only a few kids their my age, and they would trick me into thinking they were trying to be my friends, and we'd start like a football game, and they would always give me the ball but instead of tackle me, they would punch me in the face...

They would also corner me when I was taking out the trash or, getting our mail.

I don't know if that really counts though.

My uncle raped him. He'd been doing it for years before I found out, and after I saw, Eric (my bro) got upset and punched me. Later he came to apologize, and I told him if he needed someone to hit, he could hit me, and it went on like that for a few months. Then, two years ago, he killed himself. That's the twisted story of my brother and I. Now my uncle has retired and moved to our town. And the anniversary of the day Eric died was four days ago. So I'm not having the best time right now. But I'll work through it. It's nothing to worry about. Love, Jen.

Oh, I see. I undestand.
So why did he hit you?

Yeah, he (the cute one) was the one I used to pretend I had when my real one would hit me...I don't really talk about my real brother, but now I'm starting to, because I need to work through some issues with him or whatever...so that's why I didn't mention him before.

Are you serious? I didn't know that about your bro? Wait...didn't you have a brother that you told me about by e-mail? The cute one remember?*if you know what I mean*