This is the word of God, and his truth, and all who disagree with it are to reincarnate in a landfill of feces, under the punishment of living between the stench of rotting corpses, a nagging mother, a cannibal, a life-size Tickle-Me-Elmo, an angry bulldog with a special liking for genitalia, and Teletubbies. If the case is that you enjoy any of these things in your present life, your hell will be specifically suited for your dislikings.

Hell has been destroyed and re-created as the above mentioned; it had been found pyromaniacs and masochists alike loved Hell.

God's word has told the sins:

- Stupidity - This is the worst sin of all. If you manage to have the ability of having at least one brain cell, and yet you re-inforce your ignorance, one of two things may happen: if you are a male, Ted Bundy will come and violently keep you while dining on your flesh and organs, and if you are a female, Andrei Chikatilo will rape you with a knife and bite your nipple off, and kill you. Either way, you're going to Hell.
- Gluttony - Share your damn food, damn it.
- Abstinence - You have pleasure zones and genitals for a reason other that procreating. I, God, am not stupid enough to only want you to have sex for children; I understand that sometimes the sex is bad enough without having kids.
- Non-deserved arrogance - There are some who I (and only I) can choose whether or not you're good enough to not be a waste. If you're better than a waste, be glad, you're special. If you fall under the waste category, like most, then stop being a conceited moron because I despise those like you.
- Listening to Hilary Duff - I gave you working ears so that you could enjoy decent sounds, such as music. Don't destroy that with a chipmunk-like voice.
- Blind Faith - I care not what religion you are, but realize that your stinking planet has not yet had proof of any religion being true.
- Watching Reality TV - That is the utter fall of morals right there, reality television.

(feel free to add any chapters/sins/whatever, this is a friggin's satire if you haven't realized it)

Worth, this was a satire of ALL religious texts. In fact, none of them. I just wanted to see what YNers would write as a "Bible" or Koran or whatever if they could. I'm sorry if you were offended.

Tom Cruise. ...That's all. Tom Cruise is a sin. YOU DO NOT KNOW THE HISTORY OF PSYCHIATRY! I DO! I AM TOM CRUISE! ::Has scary floating head and flame shooters like the Wizard of Oz.:: WHO are YOU?

While I know this is all in good fun....I still wish you would bother respecting Christianity and Christians, if only for the sake of ones like me.

However both stupidity and SUV drivers bother me greatly...

driving an SUV- You have legs for the purpose of locomotion, you may waste that if you wish, but do not make it harder for others who wish to move themselves over the earth.

Jumping on thy bed: Trying to get closer to the heavens is not how you will end there. You must seek me threw. . . um. . . holiness if thy wish to come to heaven.

Ignoring thy parents: You better have a damn good reason. Parents are on this earth to make sure their children behave. Not only do thy condemn thyself, but thou parents also.

(*igh* Not as good as Celtic's.)