Bullying Begins with YOU!

Bullying is prevalent in every walk of life across the globe. It is indiscriminate and knows no boundaries. It undermines and humiliates. It can destroy one person or an entire group of people. There is no age limit for being a bully or being bullied.

What are the warning signs of "bullying" and how can we prevent it from damaging us or others? Can it be managed or even stopped? Is it an intrinsic part of nature or is a learned behavior? Can you say that you know someone who has never been bullied? Can you say that you have never bullied someone in your entire life? What has motivated you to be mean to someone and what could have stopped you? Does bullying need bullying to stop it or can it be stopped by other means? Check out what others are saying and doing:

• Quiz: Are You a Bully?
• There’s “No Name Calling” in Middle School
• Real-life Consequences
• School Violence: Get the Facts
• A Survivor Remembers Columbine

(Think those links don't give the full or accurate view of this issue? GOOD! Please help fill in the gaps!)

Bullying begins with YOU! Take a good, hard look at yourself, the way you are with your peers, the way you are with your parents, the way you are with your pets, the way you are with ants. What motivates you when you are mean? Then, direct this insight onto others...
AND THEN FACE OFF!

I have been bullied and I have been the bully. Making someone who is bullying you stop is fairly easy. You fight the bully. Fight him with everything you've got. If you fight the bully, he'll think twice about messing with you again. It should only take one or two times. You don't even need to win the fight - just make sure you hurt the bully. Believe me, he'll find someone easier to pick on after that.

Being a bully is really a bigger problem than getting bullied. I bullied a deaf child when I was about 10 years old or so. I stood by and watched others bully him and then one day decided I'd verbally abuse him. I did this for about 1 week at a camp he and I were attending. I'll admit, it felt good at the time to have complete control over someone. For lack of a better word to describe the feeling, it was an adrenaline rush.

You'll notice that my name is "Power Pack". That's because that's what I nicknamed the kid I was bullying....that we were bullying - due to the fact that he had to wear a hearing device that looked like a radio or "power pack" on his chest. He lasted about 2 weeks and then quit that camp. To his credit, he put up with some pretty mean stuff during those two weeks.

I'm sure that he was pretty scarred by that experience, but hopefully he's gotten over it and learned to become a stronger individual.

I, on the other hand, have to live with the constant knowledge that I was an evil bastard to an innocent child who wanted nothing other than to make friends and have fun. I can't take back what I did. I can't ask this person for forgiveness. No matter what good I do in my life, there is absolutely nothing that I can do to take back what I did.

There are two things that happened in my childhood that I really wish I had a "re-do" on: One is where a kid bullied me by punching me in the face for no reason - and I did nothing about it. The other is my bullying of the child I called Power Pack. If God only granted me one re-do I would so much rather make things right with the kid I bullied.

But, we don't get any re-do's do we. So, my advice is don't let a bully get away with pushing your around without making it quite painful for him/her. And, never be a bully yourself.

Hi Everyone!

We are currently casting a new series tentatively titled, “Life Chronicles” and one of our episodes is going to be about bullying. We are looking for people who have been on both sides of the topic and want to share their stories.

We have been having a hard time finding people who admit to being bullies. If there is anyone out there willing to come forward and interested in being involved in a national television show, please contact me ASAP at michellep@pinksneakers.net.

Thanks guys!

CelticNewAger, it seems like you're proud of your bullying! (Or at least it did when you posted it.) It's not something to be proud of. It's a defense mechanism, in my opinion, and not really something that distinguishes you over that person. Ask yourself if you had any insecurities about how smart, quick, and capable you were. I think the best way to know for sure is if you ever played out in your head a situation where someone else would whiplash you with a witty remark about your own mental capacities and you grew afraid of this actually happening. So, there would be your reason for bullying someone else in the same exact way you were afraid of being bullied! To make them inferior to you before they ever could get to do it to you, of course. Of course, when we feel inferior, we kind of feel like everyone is gonna be out to get us..because, of course, they're much more capable than us so why wouldn't they see our inferiority and why wouldn't there be that one person who doesn't see the harm in exploiting it?

That could be one reason for bullying other people. I think another could be that you felt like you had absolutely no power in your home, and your parents or whoever looked over you made you feel completely helpless to their will. Your parents/guardians, of course, are probably doing that to you because of their own insecurities as not being superior enough to be respected! So they overcompensate by making SURE that you'll respect them, but also, of course, unfortunately Fear them.

That's also one other reason for bullying but I think the most common is this one: Ok, so, I think I only fear 1) what I don't understand and 2) (hahaha, OBViously..)what I fear the most, and I also think that this mgiht jsut apply to all of us? Who knows?

I think we fear what we don't understand obviously b/c once you don't understand something you feel helpless when it comes to controlling it and having power over it..so you don't know if you should trust it b/c we don't know it's true nature. You don't know how it's gonna react. We like to be able understand everything around us, and once we don't it becomes a threat...mostly b/c we feel inferior or stupid/helpless b/c we can't understand it! ever noticed how old people reject new technology? "That blithering hogwash kids use today." Why else would they criticize it like that and make it the "weird, abnormal" thing that they never had to use back in their day, if not b/c they felt inferior and semi-stupid cuz they weren't yet capable enough to utilize it? Once we understand why someone's doing what they're doing it's not a threat to us anymore b/c we have no reasont to reject it b/c of our incapability to understand them. So usually, when we find someone who's behaviour we just don't understand we usually automatically invalidate them (as in their is just something "wrong" with them) because this automatically makes us have something "right" (or be normal, in other words) and them be abnormal. This makes us have power over them again. See? We just feel stupid b/c we can't see where they're coming from so we reject them as a defense mechanism..before they get a chance to sneak behind our backs and do somethign we weren't expecting (since we can't understand their every move.) I guess. You guys please add your experiences.. I ahve more to write but shall do it laterz..toodlez!?

If I was a bully, and I was the type of bully that wasnt venting agression nor angst, but jstu enjoyed the domination of those weaker than me, and those who are being feared from my size/personality/etc, the only thing that would make me stop, most logically, is a bigger fish. Someone who I fear. Say the slightest thing sets me off. A guy bumps me in the hallway. I throw him to a locker and push him up off his feet by the throat. Now, if I was stronger/bigger than any of the spectators, which there will be, who (logically) will come to his aid knowing thir same fate? So, only a bigger fish, balance, check on power, would make me stop. Thats my opinion anyway.

wow question pops up alot of events... everyone is a bully in some wierd way.. or was one in thier life - in my opinion... everyone looks down on someone...its jus natural.. not much you can do about it but be aware an try not to.. peace

Hi, I have a young child that is being bullied i.e. running away from her and gathering others to not be her friend either etc. I am looking for anwers a parent. What advice would you give?

I actually was a bully in 2nd through 4th grade. It's not like I was consciously saying "okay, I'm being mean." I had huge self esteem problems and would try to make others feel as horribly about themselves as I felt. Then in fifth grade a friend decided she wasn't going to put up with it and dropped me, and that made me rethink myself. One of the problems I've noticed at school is that "bullies" are the ones everyone else gangs up on, but no one is willing to admit that they're being bullies too.

I is a sad thing to say but I don't think the world will ever be without bullies because there will always be someone out there who will want to hurt others just for the fun of it or to make them feel bad, etc. But people can try and help others who are bullied if you see it stop it or tell an adult whatever just get it to stop the first step is letting someone know so that it doesn't escalate to what Columbine turned into. All the school shootings you here about mainly get that way because a kid was bullied or something and no one would stop it or help the kid, whether or not it's the fault of the kid, the bully, the school who didn't listen or whatever it needs to STOP

I was bullied, rather I am bullied. It is HELL. All you have to do is look at the person the wrong way and they will go off on you. I am called horid names. For awhile this resulted in me builidng up all my anger then relesing it when I got home. It was not a nice way to live. But then I realized: If they want to bully me let them, but when I strike back beware. A kid tripped me, so I tripped him right back. Sure, later we had his mom standing on our front porch demanding money for his so called injury. I showd her my bruises from him and that shut her up.
~**Samantha**~

Im not a bully, but if I were I think it wouldn't take much for me to stop. Maybe something like the person talking about committing suicide. It probally wouldn't take that much. I don't see the point in bullying people. I don't want to be bullied and I'm sure no one else wants to.
~Emily~

Why is this even a thread? It's Playground Rules. Get punched? Punch back.

The only time physical violence does no good is with girl bullies who spread nasty rumors.

...Even in that case, it's just better to cold-**** the girl in the jaw and she'll stop. And cry.

i think that in most cases, bullies just want attention cuz they're loners and they want friends. UNfortunately, they don't know the right way to do it. Which is why, instead of letting them harrass us, we should help them stop.

yes i agree staring a bully down and telling him off is the best case scenario, but the bully will not always back down, that is when you must make sure you have the nuckles to back up your "telling off"


yeah bullys for guys and grls should be a completely different topic

quote:

Like AMF said, it's not lowering yourself to their level. It's teaching them a little humility. I know this may sound a little un-Jedi-like, but when a bully starts pushing you around, give into your anger. Show them that you won't stand to be bullied. Show them that you, for one, are willing to stand toe-to-toe with them and not be intimidated.

In my experience, staring a jackass in the eye and telling them off but remaining cool works way better than violence. Of course, I've only ever tried the former and also have the advantage of being a girl. However, even if no one has actually physically hit me, I still get stuff thrown at me and plenty of threats.

I talk from experience when I say violent people only react to violent means. Talking to a bully does absolutely no good. Showing them how it feels to be on the other side of an uppercut will have more of an effect.

Like AMF said, it's not lowering yourself to their level. It's teaching them a little humility. I know this may sound a little un-Jedi-like, but when a bully starts pushing you around, give into your anger. Show them that you won't stand to be bullied. Show them that you, for one, are willing to stand toe-to-toe with them and not be intimidated.

Of course, being taller than them works just as well, but a punching the school bully feels really, really good.

who cares if you get in trouble, who cares if you get your *** kicked. Stand up for yourself damnit.

better to be bloodied and in trouble knowing you fought your hardest and you are not a push over than to be a little ***** always cowering. dont go to teachers, deal with the problem yourself, be a man. the satisfaction of laying out a bully is intoxicating.



fighting a bully is not "bringing yourself down to their level"

since when was defending yourself/standing up for yourself their level? Who cares if its school violence, there will alwatys be that, and a kid standing up for himself and fighting his bully is the best case scenario of school violence.

if you dont stand up to your bully you will just be hounded and live in fear, that is also school violence.

I havent had a bully for about a decade because my physique has become much more intimidating, but i still remember the best way to get rid of a bully is just crack him one in the face.

quote:

dont be a *****, fight your bully. beat the **** out of him. not only will you stop being bullied, you will feel soo much better about youself.

Um, i dont think that is quite the way to go. Either you get beat up or you also get in trouble. School violence is school violence weather it was provoked or not.Dont bring yourself down to their level, then you're no better than they are.

Sorry for the many gammar errors in that post I made. I am in a hurry.