My friend cuts herself and I am so afraid for her. I see the scars on her wrists and arms and I just don't understand why she does it. She says it's to get a high off the pain.

Wow people. Just wow. All I can say is is that if someone does it for a reason and they like it, let them continue. If they seriouesly don't want help and they say they enjoy it, that means they don't have a problem with it. Man you guys are so mean. If the person is depressed for real and says they need help when you ask them about it, sure.. give them help and advice. Otherwise you just really and truly make yourself look stupid for trying to help someone who isn't sick. Ever heard of the phrase 'If something isn't broken, why try to fix it?' Be smarter people.

I would advise her to seek some help because if she gets a high out of pain then something is wrong in her brain. She could have a mental disease.

Just wanted to point out: the topic starter has not logged into YN since October 21, 2003, so it's very unlikely she will ever hear these replies.

They might help others in similar situations, however.

Tell her that you are there to support her and tell her that if she wants to cut, squeeze an ice cube and that will help becuz it will create pain.

Talk to her. Let her know you care. Don't make her feel guilty for it or that your angry at her. Just be calm and make sure she's ok. If she dosent stop with in a cople weeks i would say to talk to a teacher. DON'T TELL ANYONE! Probably, she cuts for the "high" or as in she wants to feel real. This is what i used to do. It may be because of something thats happening at home or in her life that shes not happy about. If this is the case, talk to her; make sure she's stable. If she talks about suicide, tell someone. If its an emergancy or no one will listen to you, dont hesitate to call 911. Most of all, just stay with her. Be the best friend you can be to her.
Good luck to you and your friend.
-maggie

ive been there. trust my advise:
dont tell her to stop, if they COULD stop, they would
get her some help, mabye a close teacher, pastor, or school counselor
stand by her, dont abandon her if she doesnt stop soon enough, she's been through alot already

I know it may sound messed up, but for some, it's a way to feel. I mean I was sexually abused, and my mother is single, going to school to be a nurse, and there's four of us. We have alot of financial strains because there's so many of us, and it gets very stressful. I am seeing a therapist, but occassionally when I'm really stressed, like to a boiling point, I do cut a little. I'm not saying it's right, cuz I'm trying to stoip, because it's worrying people aroung me, but that truely is a big issue, because kids are doing it more often. Some truely have issues while others do it for attention. and it's kind of sad people see it as a fad because the kids w/ real issues won't be taken seriously when their family or w/e discovers they're cutting. I think it's mainly a "look at me" type thing for some. But that's just my opinion.

cutting, the thing is its actually a real problem. lots of people have had traumatic events that have happened to them and they've been left numb, and have a hard time feeling anything. EG. getting raped or something like that. it messes you up emotionally. and lots of people cope with the feeling of being numb by cutting themselves. i know it sounds fcuked up. but thats why they do it. to feel anything. often these people feel isolated and un loved. you gotta cut them some slack. i'm not saying that everybody cuts for these reasons. and i'm sure there are ppl who cut for attention. but think about it, why do they want the attention in the first place? totally agree with linsbain there on that one. :P
hope the fad dies out, for those who think its cool. it aint. trust me. i know

I've noticed it as a fad and always tell over-the-top-silly stories around depressed kidswhen I can, just to annoy them. (I'm a considerably happy/silly person) I think the problem should be adressed somehow, but the fad version of cutting will pass eventually and could just be left alone.

I believe that true cutters need help psycologically. There is nothing wrong with that. We all need help sometimes. However I agree with clpo13. Being depressed is a fad, a very pathetic one. These "fake" cutters should not take away the seriousness of the problem for those who have the problem (although hurting yourself for attention is a problem but we'll save that for another day) So its a problem that should be brought to light and hopefully stopped.

From what they tell me, the "cutting" is the release of pain. Psychologically, I'd say it's just misdirecting emotional pain and making it physical. It's a simple diagnosis because the people who do it are pretty simple people.

I'd like to start a thread called "Cutting yourself by accident." It sucks, and it's painful.

I'd venture to say that a great deal of cutters do so in order to gain attention. Being depressed and Goth-y is the new fad, if the rise of pre-chained jeans and ready-made fishnet stocking glove-things in places like Hot Topic is anything to go by.

Every day, I see people with cuts on their wrists and arms, people who used to be all popular and preppy. And then they act like life sucks, even when they get into their brand-new Civics or Mustangs and casually let the scars show while pushing up their shirts or adjusting their backpacks. It bugs the crap out of me. Seriously.

Now I'll be the first to say I don't quite understand that mentality. I've never been there, nor do I hope I ever am. When life throws me a curveball, I duck and go on with life. Or I catch it and throw it back. I don't take the ball and carve on it with a razor.

When I have emotional buildup, I paint my nails. Why? I don't know. I think it started because I needed something to do with my hands, but my nails seem to change colors three to four times a week lately.

Some people that experience emotional pain do not know how to handle that kind of pain, and wish to transform that emotional pain into physical pain through cutting. Physical pain is a much more tangible thing than emotional pain for them, and is easier to deal with.

I wasn't imply that it would kill you (unless you're a total cluts with the knife or are trying to die) just that it hurts, and maybe I'm totally ignorant, but how would adding more hurt to your hurt help you not hurt?

Why does it matter. Cutting really doesn't hurt you. Well I mean yeah, you phisically feel pain if you cut but it is not going to kill you like eating dissorders can.

As a non-cutter I think that cutting is stupid. Yes, I know I haven't "been there" honestly though, how is pain an outlet for emotions, emotions that cause you pain. That's like sitting on a carousel horse and trying to ride away from the horse behind you. Please don't tear me to bits just because I don't understand this, I'm just curious.

So, what is actually "wrong" with cutting?

Look, the best thing you can do is to not start cutting. Once you start, you can't stop. You think the cuts on your arms are small, but then they slowly start getting bigger. Before you know it you've hit a vain. Don't get sucked into it. It's hard to get out.