How to Become Famous
Step 1: be wealthy (or mildy talented)
Step 2: whore yourself out to a vareity of agencies
Step 3: repeat step 2... alot
Step 4: get hooked on a vareity of controlled substances
Step 5: go to rehab and find religion, but not a serious one, something insane like scientology
Step 6: write shocking, revealing expose about your life
Step 7: go on shitty VH1 reality TV Shows
Step 8: retire from public life "burned out" by the pressures of stardom
"The very existence of flamethrowers proves that sometime, somewhere, someone said to themselves, "You know, I want to set those people over there on fire, but I'm just not close enough to get the job done"."