I was reading my bible this morning when I came across this chapter in Isaiah.
My favorite (because it hits so close to home) line is 7.

' Their feet rush into sin; they are swift to shed innocent blood.
Their thoughts are evil thoughts; ruin and destruction mark their ways. '

I think that applies to individuals and society as a whole.

The whole chapter talks about how our sin is keeping us from god, as individuals, but also it shows God's contempt for us for not standing up for him in the sense of denouncing the evil that happens around us.

Verse 4.

' No one calls for justice; no one pleads his case with integrity.
They rely on empty arguments and speak lies; they conceive trouble and give birth to evil. '



The more I read the bible, the harder it gets for me to sleep at night. I don't think I can ever feel right about my sin, no matter how much I confess. I care only about my own satisfaction. I sin on purpose, just like it says, I tell God to his face, I am too good for him. I don't deserve God's mercy. Yet he has shown me so much. I do so little for him, and he has already done so much for me. I am selfish with my life, doing any and everything for myself, for my own pleasure, I care more about me then God. I wish I could cut my free will out of me. I can only abuse it. It's a gift I am not worthy of having. I am supposed to serve God, but instead I glorify the devil with every step I take. All day long I taunt God with my own self righteousness. I laugh at him and tell him that his rules don't apply to me, because he is not my equal. I tell him he is not worthy of me. Yet, like a spoiled child I not only ask, but demand more from him.

I can only imagine where my transgression will take me and my peers. I know my reward should reflect my actions. I want to say I can't help it, but I can. I want to think to myself it wasn't my fault, but It was. I didn't get carried away, I ran away on my own free will. It is not out of my hand what I do. I know I do wrong when I do it, and that I should stop, but I truly only care about what pleases me, and justify what I do but saying to myself "I've gone to far to turn back now."

I fear that my hands can be washed, but my conscience will always be spotted. For everything I think I do right, I know I have done 10 things wrong. I don't deserve to have God stand up for me, because I leave him out to dry every chance I get, and I couldn't be happier when I do. Why does God still love me so? What makes him smile at me, when I spit on him? For my malice he answers with mercy. My scorn, he gives love. I show him hatred, he shows me peace.

I wish I could just cradle next to him and stay there. Cling on to him and never let go. I wish I knew when I would stop thinking my life is for my own benefit.

What is wrong with me?

quote:

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Yv.

Thanks, that helps allot.

I love you too! :-D

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hehe... *cough*cough*...*clears throat and walks away*

I just noticed you guys are writing a lot about the bible!! Umm I hope thats not all you talk about cause I'm not Christian!!

hey wassup people!!...
umm I'm new to this and don't know how this thing works yet...I was hoping there would be some stuff about eating dissorders on here but I dunno..I'll figure out eventually...
peace in the middle east~

Why is my pain perpetual, and my wound incurable, which refuseth to be healed? wilt thou be altogether unto me as a liar, and as waters that fail? -Jeremiah 15:18

Jeremiah is my favorite book of the Bible.

Korith, you're a good person. Perfection is just unattainable. I'm not religious, but trying to stand in your shoes… God understands that you are not perfect. He could have created people perfect if that is the way He wanted them to be. He didn't. You may not be a saint but that doesn't make you a sinner.

So go a bit easier on yourself, ok?

Bex

mind u, i dont read d bible much..

wow!u read d bible!!well my favorite is i think its.. joh.. oh no.. isia..oh not that.. well i cant remember! but it says

"ask and it shall be given, seek and you shall find, knock and tthe door shall be opened up for you."

nice aint it?!

I feel so special.

Gemini, I love you. I really do :-P

Uptown, I can believe i forgot to mention that it was Isaiah 59. Isaiah 65 is a good read too.

Yv.

Thanks, that helps allot.

I love you too! :-D

Eh. Well, if it's any consolation, I hate you too.

...

Well, not really. I just figure that since the Holy Spirit is out of order, I might as well make you feel better by making you feel worse.

Sweet, isn't it?

I was thinking almost the exact same thing the other day, Korith. It's crazy how God works. No matter what you do, he's always there, and he's always going to forgive you. It's mighty neat.

What chapter of Isaiah was that in?

quote:

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I don't deserve to have God stand up for me

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no, you don't...neither do i or anyone else in this world.....but He still loves us!!! thats SO amazing!

There's nothing really wrong with you. I understand what you are going through. And when I'm going through that I only remind myself that even though I'm not worthy, that same free will that led me to sin can also lead me to redeem myself. Nobody is perfect in this world. But it's a constant fight, that of the spirit and the flesh. And if ever we loose those battles we have to get up and keep on fighting. You might have lost a few battles, but not everything is lost. Sometimes, when I don't know what the heck I'm supposed to do, I read this verse:
1 Timothy 4:12
Don't let anyone look down on you because you are young, but set an example for the believers in speech, in life, in love, in faith and in purity.
When I read it, I examine my life and see if I've met all five of them. If I have not, then I can see wich one I have to work on. I'm not going to tell you that it is easy to live a Christian life, or that I've won all battles, because that is not true. Sometimes the right path is not always the easiest one. At times we get dissapointed and loose our faith and we don't even want to know anything about Christianity, we feel overwhelmed. But even when I have parted myself from it, I can not find the same fulfilment that I found in the Spirit, no matter where I went or what I did. I felt empty. And it was only when I trully confessed to Him my sorrows and everything I thought, that I was able to find peace. Because even if I said, I'm sorry, but I didn't mean it, than it was just pointless, because I'd keep doing the same thing one after the other. But I decided to trully be honest, and that helped very very much. I'm pretty sure that not many share my opinion on my beliefs. I'm not asking people to be like me. Everyone has a choice and it is not my job to judge. But this is a tiny bit of what has happended in my life and I hope I helped you just a bit Korith.