NEEDS TO STOP.

I friggin' mean it. This is probably one of the main reasons why those with Mental Illnesses (Or more accurately Brain Disorders) end up killing themselves. I used to not care too much about the way people treated the mentally ill. Hell, I used to be one of those assholes who made fun of them too. But, shit, now that I've had to walk in their shoes, it's not funny anymore. As I write this I can't remember most of what I wanted to say. I can't remember thoughts I had seconds ago. My mind is just jumbled and it's driving me nuts.

I'm sick of people thinking the appropriate response to someone wanting help or displaying signs that they need it, is usually "You're so fucking emo" or "Go ahead and kill yourself, no one cares". That is so fucked up it's not even funny. I used to say things like that to people when I was younger and I wish I can take it all back. To someone with a fairly normal brain, they'll probably get mad, but over time they can get over it and move on. To someone with Clinical Depression (vastly different from normal Depression), Schizophrenia, Bipolar disorder, or whatever, an insult like that can cause a major explosion of emotion. We could hurt ourselves or other people. We could just "not hurt ourselves or other people" but it is hard and it's even harder to explain useless you're suffering from a mental problem. I've exploded and said hurtful things to many, many people, and I do it without meaning it and I regret it and I end up living in guilt. Why do I do it? I don't know. And I can't ever stop myself. I sometimes wonder if I have more than one personality. Part of me thinks "I wish I never said that" and then another thinks "Fuck them, they deserve it". I just can't decide what to feel, if that makes any sense. And it's only getting worse. People shouldn't just turn their backs on people who feel the way I do. Especially, friends and family. Like my parents. Acting as if they're faking it, treating them like shit, ignoring them, calling them emo. It doesn't help. Do people who say shit like that expect us to say "Oh, yeah you're right, I am a worthless peice of shit. You've shown me the light! I'll just be happy! That's ALL I had to do!" If only if it were that fucking easy...

I really get angry, when people say, "Well, I was raped/abused/molested by my brother/shot by my father and I got over it and now I'm fine". Good for you. You don't have to go through horrible experiences like that to end up with mental illness.

I prefer to call mental illnesses "brain disorders", because for those that suffer, their brains physically look different from those who are healthy. So, it isn't our fault. It's not us just being mopey and bitchy. Everything that would simply suck for normal brained people is 10,000 times shittier and harder for us.

There are days where I would go catatonic for hours (the longest was about 20 hours), because I'm in so much emotional agony. I can't move. My muscles feel weak. It's not funny. It's not something that should be made fun of. It hurts that we have to live in a society where people are taught to fear us, hate us, pity us, ignore us, and/or laugh at us. I sometimes wonder why I continue living if everyone doesn't want me anywhere near them, because of the stupid stereotypes they invent or their complete inability to handle our intense behavior.

Anyway, I wrote a little more about this in my blog. That's probably more coherent than this. All I really mean to say is, if you know people like this, just have patience and empathy. Their life could seriously depend on that one little scrap of comfort and hope. Sorry for sounding all cheesy and sappy, but it's true.

I've never suffered from serious emotional problems myself, but my older sister went through basically every problem you can name (cutting, burning, anorexia, bullimia, suicide attempts..I honestly don't know what else, but I wouldn't be surprised it there's more). It was just MIND BOGGLING the way my parents dealt with it; I say dealt with it, when I should say ignored it and treated it like rebellion or like she was just acting up - anything but dealt with it. She didn't eat, she didn't talk to them, she spent all her time in her room crying or passed out and they just acted like it was no big deal. She actually came right out and told them about her eating disorders and they did NOTHING. They assumed that since she had told them, it must be over. She must be better now. I was the only one she talked to and I was like 10 back then, I didn't know what the fuck to do. It should have been my parents helping her, they should have KNOWN that they should be helping her.

The thing about my sister is that (emotionally) she's been able to overcome most of her issues simply by getting herself away and getting herself happy. I don't know what helps with other people, but I sympathise with what they're going through because I know it's really really hard. And if families would accept that the problem is something very real, maybe they could help. My sister's health is shit after what she put her body through (asthma, fainting spells, joint spasms, and something wrong with her lungs that prohibits her to take pain killers, forcing her to take steroids for her joints) and I truly believe that, if my family had been more understanding, she could have gotten happy faster. Yes, there are those who fake it to get attention...Who are you to decide if you're child is faking it or not? Do you really want to risk their life (or risk ruining their life) on a hunch? Depression is real... I hope that this generation will turn out to be more sensitive parents.

All too often, people don't notice passive cries for help, since it relates too much to how people without real problems act. That is, of course, the fault of emo and goth cultures, which for whatever odd reason center around acting depressed. As a result, anyone who really is depressed is just assumed to be acting. Only when they do something drastic do people realize that they weren't playing around.

I could say that being more active in getting the help they need would be the best solution for people with a problem, but I get the feeling it isn't that easy. And even then, I suppose, people might think you're just kidding.

I've never been depressed and I don't know anyone who ever has (aside from the brief "life sucks" phase every teen seems to go through), so my experience with and knowledge of this is really limited. It could be the case that I have absolutely no clue what I'm talking about.

quote:

and people make fun of it becuz they think your crazy, which isn't true.

I acknowledge that I am crazy. I just wish people wouldn't treat me as if I have complete control over it and that it's my fault.

I have said this before that i am a cutter. But my mom said it was all becuz i wanted affection, but she said that becuz i didn't try to hide my scars, or the fresh cuts. She thought that i wore them as a badge of honor, when i shoulda been trying to hide them, she didn't realize that the ones on my arms were only some of them and i mostly cut on my legs, and she didn't realize how bad it was until i started getting really suicidal then i went into a mental hospital, and i realized that it was all chemicals. and it helps to talk to people. and i'm with your EG, people do give it a name, and people make fun of it becuz they think your crazy, which isn't true.



I think i got off topic tho... sorry.

quote:

The main mistake people make is to think that people who talk about suicide will not do it - that they just want the attention.

That's what my parents did. And they didn't notice the times when I was deathly ill from overdosing on sleeping pills and alcohol.

I guess it's just human nature to be that selfish.

The main mistake people make is to think that people who talk about suicide will not do it - that they just want the attention.

Being in med school I read about it a lot and statistics show that over half of all suicide victims have spoken about their thoughts and plans before going through with it.

It's a myth that people who talk about it just want attention.
It's true though that SOME just want the attention, but I really REALLY think the doubt should come to their benefit - ALWAYS.


The next myth is that depression is just an excuse to be lazy or that it can be cured by taking long baths or reading a nice book - people mean well giving such advise, but all they do is add to the insult, because most depressed people are ashamed that they suddenly - for almost no reason at all - can't do what they used to and they feel useless.

Scientifically speaking depression is a physical thing. In our brains we have some drugs/chemicals that make us happy; endorphine, adrenaline ect. But when you get depressed the part of your brain that recieves these "happy hormones" is mal functioning and the hormones go to waste.
So no matter how much you want it you just can't be really happy.


If anyone has more direct questions about this topic I'll be glad to share my expertise and in lack of this look it up in my books.