My mother has lost her mind. Last nite and today she has been hounding me with questions about me smoking. For some reason or other, she thinks that I smoke. My two friends smoked yesterday when they came over and talked to them for awhile, mom started making comments to me. I understand her concern as a parent but she is getting a little ridiculous. She's threating me w/ her taking away my driving privilages and asking my sister. It really bothers me that my mother cannot trust me and believe that I do not smoke, have not smoked and will NEVER smoke. I think it is disgusting and hate people that do smoke. I've been trying all day to find the web site where you stand against smoking. You know, the ones w/ all the commercials and what not. I don't really know what else to do to get it in her head. Please help!!

You've gotten the point across to us that you don't smoke. Getting the point across to your mom, however, is a different story. My mom is the same way in the sense that she hounds me about everything but that's not the point. The point is that if you want her to trust you and to quite hounding you than you must lead by example. They say actions are louder than words. Now how do you do that? If you want your mom to think that your not doing what she thinks your doing than don't hang around people or places that will influence you to go down a path that may not be good for you like smoking. Show her that you are not into those kinds of things even though your friends at the time are. Try it to see if it works. If not, you are a lost soul my friend.

You know gibbonsgirl, i think the reason your mom is hounding you with questions is that she saw you and your friends were smoking. You said that you dont smoke and will never smoke and we here in YN knows that but your mom doesnt... She's a mom. She has the right to hound you with questions... Also, i think she is doing this because there is evidence, not because you smoke but because your mom saw your friends who smoke so naturally she just assumed that you smoke too.
One thing you can do is: avoid those friends of yours who smoke, not necessarily that you will not be friends anymore but just try to keep them away from places where your mom can see them. In the parents world, they think their kids do the stuff they did through evidence, not only evidence seen through the actions of their kid, but by the kind of people their kid hangs out with...
I think that by trying to avoid your friends who smoke or if you and your friends are really very good friends, you just try not to let your mom see you with them.

She must be a very good mom...



But not a good mom if she cant trust you...



How does your dad feel????

Well this is a hard one!! Tell how you feel about smoking and like some people have said tell her what you have told us.

There's an old saying that goes "Dime con quien andas y te dire quien eres." Which basically means tell you who you hang out with and I'll tell you who you are. It's a very unfair phrase, but parents use it all the time. She is probably just scared since she saw you hanging out with people that did smoke. Alot of kids fall prisioners of peer preasure, and it wouldn't suprise me if your mother was just afraid that you would get curious to try smoking. I know that it must be hard for you because you feel she doesn't trust you. But she is just being cautious. Be patient. Have a serious talk with her and let her know what you think about smoking. Maybe ask your friends not to smoke while they're in your house. If you do have that talk with her, try to sound as mature as possible, let her know that you feel strongly about this and that no peer pressure or curiosity is gonna bring you down. Good luck.

At least your mom doesn't think you do drugs, like mine. ::rollseyes:: Yeah, right.

You might also find some good information at these two sites,

thetruth.com and ydoyouthink.com

This message has been edited. Last edited by: YNLissa,

Tell her what you told us- be sure to stay calm and rational. Tell her that smoking disgusts you and you would never smoke- give her your reasons. (Stains teeth, smells disgusting, lung cancer, etc). Tell her that you're hurt by her not trusting you, and ask her if theres any way you can prove your smoke-free-ness to her. Join TATU or SADD in your area, it will show your responsibility and dedication to being smoke free, and make a good impression on her. Besides, you might find it fun.