A few years ago, I met the best friend I ever had. Then I screwed it up. We don't really talk anymore, and when we do it's really strained and tense. I'm afraid to make her mad, but I can't really talk to her, and that gets ME mad. It stresses me out so much, and I don't really know what to do. Should I just talk to her and risk her getting mad or just keep pretending? I'll take any advice!

I agree with Meagan. I think the best thing to do is to just let it be. I know what its like losing a best friend. This happened to me in high school when jealousy and back-stabbing started killing our friendship. Its extremely hard to go through anything like this, but you have to accept it for what it is and move on.

I actually did the opposite of this. After she tried making my life a living hell my freshman and sophomore years, we started talking to each other again and I forgave her and wanted things to be like they used to. This was a mistake because, things just ended up playing out almost exactly the same again. The same issues were there and we just grew apart again and I haven't heard from her since high school. Its hard to "get things back to normal". Even though we try, its a lost cause. You can still be friendly and get together sometimes, but the truth is that people can and do grow apart.

I was best friends with this one girl for 10 years and then we just grew apart. Unfortunately, our friends all liked her better than me, so I lost pretty much all of my friends at the age of 13.

Then I made new friends, and I wouldn't trade them for the world.

Sometimes it is best to just move on...

(although, without knowing more about your situation, I really can't say...)

Truth be told i have had a lot of people who were my friends but then either they moved, i moved or we just grew apart so i can say i dont have to many really close friends who really know me dont get me wrong i have a few but my advice is dont throw aways years of friendship over minutes of anger.

I lost my best friends in grade 5. I was bullied by them, and everything. I now go to a different school, but when i was still in their class, I had great difficulties with talking to them. I say tell her your feelings, and just talk to her like you would if you were still best friends with her.

quote:

Originally posted by Redhead00:
A few years ago, I met the best friend I ever had. Then I screwed it up. We don't really talk anymore, and when we do it's really strained and tense. I'm afraid to make her mad, but I can't really talk to her, and that gets ME mad. It stresses me out so much, and I don't really know what to do. Should I just talk to her and risk her getting mad or just keep pretending? I'll take any advice!

I so feel where you are coming from, except I had a big group of friends that I had really became close with, and then I got sick and they started blaiming me for everything, and then we were all fighting and now we arent talkin and when we do we could hardly stand each other. We live so close together it is so awful watchin our lives move foward without one another, we were suppose to be really tight, but as I have come to learn friends come and go, but GOD is there always.

If your relationship is already strained, you don't have much to lose. I don't see how talking to her would get her mad, unless you plan on giving her excuses for your supposed screw-up.

If she doesn't want to be your friend, you're going to have to deal. Accept the consequence of whatever you did. Such is life.

Both of us are in the same position. I can't really tell you anything thats going to automatically make you feel better but I can tell you that it would probably be best for both of you if you went to her and try to talk to her about what you're feeling. In my case, I have way too much pride to go to her first and appologize for something that I fell I had nothing to do with. In my case, every time my ex-best friend would get a new boyfreind it seemed like she didn't know who I was and all of a sudden, our friendship became a threesome instead of a twosome because the time that we shared was usually our time to talk about personal stuff and talk about our feelings and cry and laugh and all that good stuff. But like I said before, I can't tell you any magic words thats going to make you just get over that but I can suggest that you go to her and talk her and tell her, "Hey, you hurt my feelings and that wasn't cool".

If you feel like you need to talk to me about anything, you can e-mail me at dashed69@hotmail.com

Well to tell you the truth i'm in the same boat as you...the only thing is i didnt mess up she did and it makes me mad and really kinda sad and i can tell you i think you should talk to her and all that but i know how hard it is counting that i still can't bring myself to talk to my friend...So if you figure anything out and want to talk you can talk to me i have aol if you do it's beegs444 or my meial is tom_boy69420@yahoo.com i'm here to talk

I think you should still try to talk to your friend. I don't know what exactly happened between you, but Since you "screwed up" I think you need to let her know that you're sorry and how much you care about her. My best friend since the age of six died on November 23, 2003...so I know how it is to lose your best friend, and that's why I urge you to do whatever you can to try to fix the friendship.If you don't at least try, you will feel empty and you will regret it. You never know what's going to happen in life, so you don't want to have this haunting you forever. I would give anything to be able to talk to my friend just one more time...so please, if she is important to you, talk to her.

the same situation happened to me, i try talking to her online and it seems like she never wants to talk to me. though i don't know the real reason what broke us apart. but i think you should discover new friends and not lose them.

You find another friend.

Talk the only way to solve any problem is by talking with the other party from wold peace to peace of mind you need to talk it out to have anything happen

Obviously you're having regrets, so do something about it. Or just let it go and it'll all swing back together. That's what I did and it all worked out.

Wow, that is pretty hard to cope with, if you ask me, I haven't really had that experience with any of my friends... yet.

if you guys were as good of friends as you make it sound, you'll know what to do.... talk to her!