Originally posted by Baber: I have only skimmed some of the replies so if i am repeating please forgive me. From what I have read the main reason people say that they have sex with another person is because they love them. I have to ask what is love to you? What is it to anyone? How do you define or explain it? I think that love is a very misused word. But I do want to hear what anyone has to say on this.
Well, I'm waiting to have sex until marriage so I guess this question doesn't really apply to me. But I happen to have posted a thread about love today so if you wish to read what I think (in a roundabout way) then go here:
For me, strength in a relationship won't come from saving any physical act for the other person. I think strenth in a relationship comes from an emotional connection that can be, but is not neccessaily linked to sex.
But do you agree that some strength in a relationship could come from waiting for some people?
Belief makes things real/Makes things feel, feel alright/Belief makes things true/Things like you, you and I
Yeah from what I understand there are 4 names for "love" in Greek. There is "storge" or the love between family, "phileo" or the love between friends, "eros" which is not really love from what I understand more just lust(specifically on the sexual level), and there is "Agape" (a-gop-ey) which is unconditional or unearnable. I dunno it seems that people too often get lust and love mixed up.
When God speaks, reason must be silent. - Martin Luther
Originally posted by yogore: If it's a deep emotional connection, those emotions don't change easily.
But when they do, it's a huge tidal wave. Which can be even worse if you've slept together. Or, it can go the other way and help you mend again if you have that initial foundation of knowing someone that intimately.
My theory is, if you want to stay abstinate, just find someone who will appreciate your chastity as much as you value it.
And if you want to have sex, go for it. It's a beautiful and exhilarating thing (when done right and well). Be safe and have fun.
I have to ask what is love to you? What is it to anyone? How do you define or explain it? I think that love is a very misused word. But I do want to hear what anyone has to say on this.
I can't really explain what love is. I love my mom, as I love my best friend, and I love my boyfriend. They're different types of love, though. The love I have for mom is more so an appreciative love. The love for my best friend is mainly for him being there and sharing great memories. The love for my boyfriend I can't explain; it's a mixture of all that. I can't explain love correctly, how it feels for me, but I know it's present, kind of like you know God is there even if you can't see gim with your own eyes.
"Regardless, I have always, and will always, succeed."
I mean don't you think that it's a good decision for some/many or that there's strength in that?
For me, strength in a relationship won't come from saving any physical act for the other person. I think strenth in a relationship comes from an emotional connection that can be, but is not neccessaily linked to sex.
quote:
It is sacred because it is one of the only ways of reproducing and it was the only way of reproducing when the Bible was written.
Also, in biblical times, sex was for reproduction because there was no way to have sex without a high risk of pregnancy.
"You learn about equality in the classroom but you find out about it in life" - Campus Confidential www.myspace.com/yogore
Okay.. so bear with me... I haven't read all of this board so for all I know I could be shootin into space here, but ins't the point to abstinence that your are showing the person who you intend to marry that they are worth waiting for. This conclusion does require that you agree that fate has either someone out there for you, or that you have some other sort of calling, however, once this belief is provided, doesn't it make sense that the someone that is out there deserves your patience? Wouldn't you want the same of them?
And another thing...sex is nothing to be ashamed of; it's not a bad thing, it's a beautiful thing. But this does not mean that it should be taken so lightly as to say that if you love someone you should have sex with them. People fall in and out of love everyday. It's not as if you are only going to "fall in love" once in your life. Teenagers do it all the time.
Anyway... it is ultimately your decision, so I wish you luck in deciding what is right for you.
I have only skimmed some of the replies so if i am repeating please forgive me. From what I have read the main reason people say that they have sex with another person is because they love them. I have to ask what is love to you? What is it to anyone? How do you define or explain it? I think that love is a very misused word. But I do want to hear what anyone has to say on this.
When God speaks, reason must be silent. - Martin Luther
I'm not saying abstinence is the right choice for everyone (because obviously, it's not) but...
Doesn't anyone find any value in remaining abstinate? (not sure I spelled that right...) I mean don't you think that it's a good decision for some/many or that there's strength in that?
Belief makes things real/Makes things feel, feel alright/Belief makes things true/Things like you, you and I
i'm catholic and i don't necessarily share the same views on sex the way the catholic church does. true, you should only have sex with people you love - no swingers, no one night stands. but you don't need a ceremony, a blessing, a piece of paper to tell you that you love someone.
on the contrary, i'm a virgin and i'm in love with my boyfriend. i'm 15. he's 17 and a virgin as well. we haven't had sex yet because i think there are other ways to prove love other than sex. that doesn't mean i'm not going to have sex with him EVER. when we're ready, i'm sure it'll come naturally. i'm not planning to stay a virgin until marriage, but if i do, it won't be a product of abstinence. it'll just be because i haven't found the right person.
Originally posted by LoversAndFriends: Sooo what's the big deal about sex before marriage? As long as you love the person, what's the big issue with it? Someone recently said that their aunt was 48 and a virgin...how the hell do you wait 48 years and still be a virgin? I lost my virginity at 13 and while I do have some regrets about that, I don't regret having sex with my current bf b/c we have sex b/c we love each other...not just for the hell of it. Yes, I am a Christian and all that so I know about the whole abstinence deal but I really don't see why it's pushed so much. Personally I think it's just the churches way of attempting to cut down teen pregnancy rates. Those of you who aren't virgins:What made you do it and do you regret it? Those of you who are:Why are you and do you plan to stay that way?
I don't frown upon sex before marriage, but it's not the first thing I would do. What plays out in my thoughts is an accident, or getting caught up in the heat of the moment and then nine months later having a baby to contend with. Sex isn't even on my mind right now. I'm only in the ninth grade. I've got too much to live for.
"I came to a path diverged in a wood, and I, <b>I</b> took the one less traveled by. And that has made all the difference."<b>--Robert Frost</b>
I'd like that verse from him, Apology. He is wrong.
I asked him for that verse when we were arguing but he never gave it to me.
That jerk!!!! How am I suppose to argue a point if he doesn't give me the verse?
quote:
If you are a Christian, you are taught not to have sex before marriage because it is a sacred act only to be held between a man and his wife. It is sacred because it is one of the only ways of reproducing and it was the only way of reproducing when the Bible was written.
That's what I told him but not in those exact words. He just kept getting me on my experience with sex. Saying that for me it was bad, therefore it's basically a bad thing altogether.
I don't believe that. I think sex is a great experience for anyone who is doing it for the right reasons and really ready to do it. I did it for the wrong reasons and I sure wasn't ready for it, therefore I did not enjoy any of it. Even before I did it, I had already experienced sex in a bad way so the whole idea of sex is wrongly programed into my brain for years now. I may in fact be a hopeless case and never be able to see how wonderful it really is. However, I am glad that not everyone is as messsed up as me and actually enjoys sex.
You never know, I will wait until I am married to try again and it will be wonderful. If not then I guess I have to live with it. For now, I hate it and I rather hate it then jump into bed with any guy to feel some sort of love that isn't real.
Blah, not trying to sound pathetic.
quote:
As a great wise person once said, "If you're not enjoying it, you're doing something wrong."
That's not what the guy told me, I was doing it pretty damn good.
Heh, no one needed to know that! Blah, I hate being serious, so I make a dumb joke when I am being serious. Sorry, that is how I work.
quote:
I can refute that: "Then why did God make our genitals in ways that it can feel good? Clearly he had a deeper purpose...".
Topics 
