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Registered: December 18, 2003
Posts: 12
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My boyfriend was an alcoholic. He stopped drinking because he really liked me and knew i didn't like drinkers. He has been sober for a month and a half and he constantly thinks about alcohol. EVERY coversation leads to alcohol. He is great, but is there any way i can get him to stop thinking about it? or am i just going to be trying for nothing? also, the other day he tried to kill himself because he thought i didn't like him.....it's like his life is in my hands....i'm horrified about what he's going to do to himself if we ever break up. HELP  
why?
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Registered: March 12, 2007
Posts: 5
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iends quote: Originally posted by Jenos: quote: what else I can do to help him?
Don't mention alcohol, drink alcohol, buy him alcohol, or willingly put him in the presence of alcohol. You know what they say, out of sight, out of mind. If he is fine without alcohol, keep it that way.
Thank you I really needed some advice because I know how hard is quitting and he is a great guy, he is 21 and he really wants to stop drinkink, and sometimes I feel like I could do more to help him you know. He is my heart and he always says I am his,so I want the best for him and to be happy at the same time. Once again thank you |
Registered: May 03, 2003
Posts: 8901
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quote: what else I can do to help him?
Don't mention alcohol, drink alcohol, buy him alcohol, or willingly put him in the presence of alcohol. You know what they say, out of sight, out of mind. If he is fine without alcohol, keep it that way.
I like these calm little moments before the storm.
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Registered: March 12, 2007
Posts: 5
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Hey I want some advice, I am 18 years old and I started a relashionship with a guy who has problem with alcohol, he is doing rehab and everything and I am doing the best I can to support him, I go to the AAA meeting with him and everything. He is a great guy, he respects me a lot and I want to know what else I can do to help him? he is been sober since we started dating, he is doing the best he can to stay sober. Please any advise how else I can do??
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Registered: February 03, 2007
Posts: 13
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well, i understand were you're coming from. it's hard because you don't want him to do something stupid, but you should get him some help. he doesn't sound like he's really stable. maybe there's something going on that you don't know about. he could be going through something REALLY bad and not tell you. email me. i_love_my_life08@yahoo.com
I live my life the way I want. I don't care who doesn't like it.
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Registered: January 28, 2006
Posts: 1
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hey i completely understand what you could be going through! i must tell you though since your boyfriend is so young you should be completely grateful to him that he is taking sucha big step. quiting drinking is hard no matter how old you are obviously within reason but the sooner you can realize you know you have a problem and that you want to do something about it the better off you will be. My boyfriend is 22 years old and started out drinking all day everyday around the clock and then calmed down a bit to about a pint and a six pack a night, hell actually you know what he has relapsed so many times, to the point where he would drink 3 bottles of wine a night. This drinking will eventually lead to violence and anger and tolerance, sickness, deceit, and well just plain loss of reality. I've been around drinking a lot and understand how difficult it is for a person on both sides of the rope. It breaks hearts and unless someone that has a serious problem does something about it on their own something big for ex: to stop drinking : to go to a clinic: seek help ect.: this is more than just a little thing for them. He obviously cares a great deal about you and your time together, So girl be glad that things have not gotten too far with your boyfriend and love and praise his hard work to make you happy because in return it will make it easier for him as well.Do things together that you can both enjoy to keep his mind off drinkin boredowm will be bad, and just make sure you let him no how important he is to you for taking that step and showing you how much he cares about you and your feelings.  good luck with everything. |
Registered: October 23, 2005
Posts: 418
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It's just that he is having I guess you could say affects from not being able to drink.
My Dad used to drink alot and all that stuff, but that was way long ago and now from where he smoked and drank and all he has a lot of health problem.
I would worry about him, but maybe he needs to go to a class or something for that to help him out.
I would also pray for him and if you already doing that I would just keep praying for him.
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Registered: June 22, 2004
Posts: 2343
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quote: Originally posted by H3va3nsAng3l:
well thanks alot for the help!
shit if its old...rip the shit down then!
And being and alcholholic is way better then being a sober boyfriend that listens to ever damn word a girl has to say!
i aint nones damn shadow.....and i may be new but atleast i aint crying about some lame shit!
I'm not the one with the problem of having an alcoholic boyfriend. Also, there's a difference between crying and setting someone straight. Maybe you need to learn to look for the signs next time sweetheart.
I have not yet reached my goal, and I am not perfect. But Christ has taken hold of me. So I keep on running and struggling to take hold of the prize. My friends, I don't feel that I have already arrived. But I forget what is behind, and I struggle for wha
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Registered: December 30, 2005
Posts: 11
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well thanks alot for the help! shit if its old...rip the shit down then! And being and alcholholic is way better then being a sober boyfriend that listens to ever damn word a girl has to say! i aint nones damn shadow.....and i may be new but atleast i aint crying about some lame shit!
Lonely Ghost
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Registered: June 22, 2004
Posts: 2343
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quote: Originally posted by H3va3nsAng3l:
i read all the answers people replyed back to your question and well to tell u what i think might and might not help.Because to tell u the truth....There was one time that i was the same way lol.
It started off just like yall's relastionship. The girl i was with told me "stop drinking or dont be with me"I did...but being sober hurt me to much because i was not able to fit into the world that she was living in.."perfect".
She wanted something i was not...i mean i wasnt back then and everyday drinker, like i am now.
But hey atleast you have a man that is doing the best to change and be what u want him to be ...I don't no how you guys are together...but did u ever try showing him that u appreciated just him being there? yah u probly did.
or maybe u can try a routine with him...next time he is talking and it leads to alchohol again...Ask him "what was the best time that you had drinking.or what was one of the games that u played while doing it?"
And see if u guys can do it sober...so that way he is use to the routine.And looks forward to that "then that way he has something else to talk about" other then what happened when he use to drink.
and the suiside thing i wouldnt really worry about that.
If u no u like him...lol...become the bottle that inspires him so much to want to drink...and make him no that .."There's no one else in the world you rather have holding your hand then him."you no.
and maybe instead of wanted to have a bottle,and wanting to die...he'll want to hold your hand to.
I don't no really if this will help but hey i went threw it for 9 months and i think about all the time...that i rather drink until i'm in a dang coma and make it go away but it wont i still wake up with it...lol.
well good luck!byebye
Don't you see this is a two year thread. Hello, you were supposed to let the thread die. After a while no one comes looking for a thread that is already 2 years old to see if anyone is still replying. Just thought you need to that newbie.
I have not yet reached my goal, and I am not perfect. But Christ has taken hold of me. So I keep on running and struggling to take hold of the prize. My friends, I don't feel that I have already arrived. But I forget what is behind, and I struggle for wha
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Registered: December 30, 2005
Posts: 11
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i read all the answers people replyed back to your question and well to tell u what i think might and might not help.Because to tell u the truth....There was one time that i was the same way lol. It started off just like yall's relastionship. The girl i was with told me "stop drinking or dont be with me"I did...but being sober hurt me to much because i was not able to fit into the world that she was living in.."perfect". She wanted something i was not...i mean i wasnt back then and everyday drinker, like i am now. But hey atleast you have a man that is doing the best to change and be what u want him to be ...I don't no how you guys are together...but did u ever try showing him that u appreciated just him being there? yah u probly did. or maybe u can try a routine with him...next time he is talking and it leads to alchohol again...Ask him "what was the best time that you had drinking.or what was one of the games that u played while doing it?" And see if u guys can do it sober...so that way he is use to the routine.And looks forward to that "then that way he has something else to talk about" other then what happened when he use to drink. and the suiside thing i wouldnt really worry about that. If u no u like him...lol...become the bottle that inspires him so much to want to drink...and make him no that .."There's no one else in the world you rather have holding your hand then him."you no. and maybe instead of wanted to have a bottle,and wanting to die...he'll want to hold your hand to. I don't no really if this will help but hey i went threw it for 9 months and i think about all the time...that i rather drink until i'm in a dang coma and make it go away but it wont i still wake up with it...lol. well good luck!byebye
Lonely Ghost
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Registered: June 21, 2005
Posts: 202
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quote: Originally posted by SEXYGURL15:
Don't stay with him just so he won't drink... Talk to him and see why he does it!
Asking why he doesn't won't change the fact that he does...or...did as crazyloo said. People who drink either drink b/c they like the taste, they want to loosen up around poeple, or the want to get downright drunk.
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Registered: May 13, 2003
Posts: 24
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Don't stay with him just so he won't drink... Talk to him and see why he does it!
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Registered: June 21, 2005
Posts: 202
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Has he been to rehab? My friend had to go to rehab and she said the main thing they teach you there is that you don't need alcohol. SO if he ever says he needs it you should probably encourage him to go to rehab. It should help him to not think about alcohol as often. Also make sure he knows you love him. Or if you're not to that stage inot the relationship yet to where you love him then just make sure he knows tat you do like him.
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Registered: June 19, 2005
Posts: 3
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well if you still like him maybe ask him about councling or if you dont want to put up with him anymore then break up with him.....i tried my best to help with your situation!!! level27Chick 
Anna
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Registered: June 28, 2003
Posts: 2745
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I suggest you will be better off if your boyfriend keeps thinking about alcohol. If i were you, i would be really better off than having a bf who is into alcohol and cant stop thinking about it and worse, he even tried to kill himself right?? Or if you do love him, have a heart to heart talk with him. If this wont solve it, tell him to go to rehab... if not, the best way is to look for someone else. |
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Registered: June 28, 2003
Posts: 2745
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if your boyfriend cant stop thinking about alcohol i suggest you leave him. You'll be better off with someone who doesnt die young just because of too much alcohol and also you'd be better off with someone who doesnt think of killing himself coz he is just paying too much attention to alcohol... If you cant leave him, tell him to go get a rehab... i think thats the best way instead of trying to be with him coz maybe he will go violent or something.... Or if you really love him, have a heart-to-heart talk with him instead. |
Registered: March 09, 2004
Posts: 2913
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quote:
Originally posted by crazyloo:
well.....is there a certain piont at when you can refer to someone as a alcoholic???
Yes when you go to meetings for drinking problems.
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Registered: December 18, 2003
Posts: 12
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well.....is there a certain piont at when you can refer to someone as a alcoholic???
why?
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Registered: December 18, 2003
Posts: 12
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well, he really wasn't/isn't an 'alcoholic' because to is fairly young to be cosidered one, but he drank often, at least 5 days a week, and he is 14.
why?
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