ok, yea i look for fine men. but i dont look 4 a relationship w/ only fine men. i am honestly attracted to someone who can be nice to other people (not just myself.) who isnt?

yes we USUALLY base an attraction on appearence. it isn't always that way though. for instance many people today become attatched over the internet, I have always found this intriguing because these couples often don't know what the other looks like until they are a ways into a realationship. it kind of removes some unneeded hurdles.

also, lately I have found myself becomeing attracted to a guy friend of mine who is not particularly goodlooking. he has a great personality and is the funniest guy i know. yes, it has taken much more time than with other more good-looking fellows but still, it's there.

although looks might come up first, other attributes do matter.

i read in a science magazine about how when we see a person of the oposite sex who is attractive the same part of our brain that is active when we eat pleasant foods or do drugs fires off. pretty faces are addictive. also when we see someone goodlooking of the same sex the opposite seems to happen showing that we reguard them as compitition...

-Phoebe

the guy i was dating for 4 years really isn't all that cute, and we started talking online and on the phone and he became the hottest person to me with his personality so he asked me out and we started datin and going places together and i got to see him alot more. so when i tought he wasn't so cute, me seein him more and gettin to know him more made me relize that he was a hotty.so i can honsetly say i didn't go on his looks. But i do look at guys and talk to them based on their apperance. I wish i didn't cuz that sounds so low but hey thats how the world is today.People would say "man Dusty how did you get with her?"b/c of how i look and how he looks people wouldn't think that i would be with him. but hey i like being like that. it makes me feel good!
BABY

exactly what i was trying to say. thank you rachel87.

Id liek to reply to the physical attractiveness posting. I think its definitly true that poeple base others on their appearance and its a shame that we are liek that because some of the nicest, most awesome guys out there may not be drop dead gorgeous...but we rarely get to know them. Im not saying that every person bases others on physical features, but most do, and I'll admit Im one of them. But, if theres a guy i start talking to at school I might start liking him, even if he isnt the best looking...and then i start to realize how cute he actually is. I notice the little features that never caught my eye before. It would be great if everyone took the time to get to know someone that will never be Mr. Model. Of course im not saying to go find the fattest, shaggiest hair guy on the block, but you get the picture. : )

beekerthebeekbeek - you started off with that you have tons of friends that are boys because they have good personalities. That is just fine and dandy, but think about it. How many of those guys would you consider going tou with if they asked you out? I'm betting right around NONE!

Then you come with this "BUTTWORM" bullsh!t. Well, that was funny - WHEN I WAS 10!

Then you tell me that I have something up my @ss. Hey - I might. But at least I don't have something infront of my face. I see the world as it really is and not in some fantasy world that you live in. What you believe is completely wrong. I recently got rejected by a gril because "I wasn't good looking enough" for her. SO you need a reality check. Don't come in here littering this board with a baseless agruement.

I talk to anyone no matter if they are consindered a loser or not! I am very out going and I always say hi to people because I know that that could probabaly make someones day! I am always there for my friends and I know that you should not judge a person by what they wear or how big of breast they have! I have a boyfriend and I know that he likes me for me and I don't know if that is all but as long as he likes me for me! I also like him for him, but some girls think he is a total loser but he has lots of friends! All I am saying is that you should judge a person by their personality not their looks! I know I do and I am know to be a very nice person!

well lets see, im a girl, and i like boys. yea i do like it if there nice looking but u know wut? i have so many friends that are boys and i like them for them! not for there looks! because there nice to me and we have a good time being with each other. well i know its hard for u 2 understand BUTTWORM, so read farther and u might b able 2 understand better. u think every1 goes for the best looking people? but im here to tell u, u most definitly got somthin up ur @ss cuz if u r that shallow then there is definitly somthing rong. may i suggest a psyciatrist? or maybe some hot girl to get that somthing out of ur @ss!

thanks for clearing that up, but it means the same thing. every guy thinks that way, and there is no denying it. every single male first looks a at female he doesn't know and sees if she is good-looking or not. girls do it too. its just the reality. and if you don't want to believe it then your living in a fantasy world.

I was not bashing budworm in anyway, in fact i think he is a pretty cool guy. the " its people like you that ruin it for people like me" was not faced towards him, but towards the people that look only for looks. yes the firs impression is a lasting impression, but the first impression can also not be about looks...

~shawn

no, i know what you all mean. and i agree with all of you. The first thing people see is the physical side of everyone. and it is very shallow to search only for appearance. I have always learned that. But people also have to be very careful. I went out with a guy this year who was not that cute and that wasn't that big of a deal to me. What i liked about him was that he was really nice and really funny. He liked me, but only cuz he thought i was 'hot'. i don't know~the only thing i can say is that you can never win. Its so hard to get a mutual personality relationship these days. I personally, am more appealed by the way a guy acts and his personality WAY more than how he looks. Maybe cuz a lot of hot guys are a$$holess. but i dont know

It's the cold hard truth guys, your first impressions of a person are how they look. That is why we wear buisness suits, take showers, get haircuts, etc. You automatically judge people based on thier visual apearence. You cannot rationalize your way out of it.

That said, it certainly is not the be all and end all. To me, personality is what forms a lasting relationship.

He isn't being mean, just honest. When you are out with your friends, girl-watching, or guy-watching, you don't say "Hey, she/he looks like she's/he's got a good personality, I'll go talk to them!"

You are drawn to someone first by their appearance, and then you find out if you really like them or not by talking to them.

OK - AvengerOfGod and Holliewood:
All I'm trying to say is that our society runs on how people look physically, not who they are or how they act. I was only trying to let everyone realize the fact that no matter what all of you say or do or what you post on this, looks are the biggest role in finding a "mate".

And Holliewood - please start with me...I want to hear what you have to say about my thoughts (now that you brought it up).

You guys just need to relax. My thoughts in a nutshell = all attractions start with looks. thats all folks.

I'm sorry, but can I help it if I check out a guy? NO! Chemical makeup, genes, they are all a factor. I'm not talking about love or anything, but if the guy's hot, what are you gonna do?

i don't think it's really a guys fault if he's atracted to girl w/ big breasts or perfect skin or nice hair or a big @ss or name brand clothes or whatever else because that's what they've been taught to feel atracted towards. it's part of our highly comercialized american pop culture. in other cultures dif. things are attractive. our culture happens to celebrate women w/ that nearly perfect body type that 99% of women can't achieve. because even if you have those one or two things attractive there's a whole list of things that u don't have. and this all can be vica-versa because there's a giant list women look for in men that 99% of men can't achieve either. Because we're growing up in the age of perfect stars on tv and in music that's what we're gonna stirve for in a boyfriend or girlfriend cause everyone wants perfection even though it's impossible to achieve. well that's my rant for the day and i don't know if it made sense but oh well.

looks do not matter in any way, dude, if you only give cute girls the time of day, and leave other girls to themselves, you are shallow. a women should not be judged by how they look, but the person that they are. love is not lust, nor lust love. and if you live your life for lust, you feel no love

I dont even wanna start with you budworm