Well since my girlfriend left me 3 weeks ago I am "back on the market" as I like to say. I've talked relationships with alot of people and it seems like there are many of them (a majority even) whom feel that the best part of romance is the chase, or in our modern terms, the "game".
For instance if I am bartending and I meet a girl I'm interested in I'll flirt with her and if she flirts back I'll get her number. She is obviously somewhat interested if she gave me her real number, but if I was to call her the next day it would usually be a turn off because I am showing too much interest. I have heard of the 2 day rule as well as the week rule in regards to how long to wait to call (other dudes tell me this). I have also heard from the women's side that it's good to "let them dangle a bit" for instance not answering your phone or returning calls to get a guy more interested in you. I have even heard from many girls at the bar that they are more interested in dating a guy that is dating other girls as well because they have to pursue him and get him to like them. Is the pursuit really better than the capture? Does playing the "game" really lead to meaningful relationships? I'm very interested to hear your opinions on this, as well as any funny "rules" you might have heard or utilize yourself.

I don't play games. If I like a guy, I make it so completely obvious that he couldn't possibly *not* know. Then if he likes me too, he can go from there. I try to make it easy on you, fellas! But why are guys still shy to ask a girl out, even when it's obvious you like each other?

To me, games are stupid. I usually end up just telling a guy, "Hey, I like you a lot." I got a bf for 9 months out of that one and my current bf of 3 months. Woot!

I think you have to be realistic. No BF/GF will be perfect. Just someone who makes you feel good, share common interests (if you, you'll loose topics on what to talk about), that you mutually ejoy each other's company, etc.

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You're right. However, what do you mean exactly by a "good bfs or gfs"? I think it just depends on your definition of a good person. If you're referring to someone who does their homework every single night and never stays out past midnight, doesn't drink, smoke, party or any socializing whatsoever, then your definition is completely off. Love is about finding someone you can laugh with, smile with. Share your secrets with and love. Not someone who will not pressure you into doing anything you don't want to do. Every person has a good side to them, you just have to look for it. Go ahead and waste your time going crazy over a guy that's not good. Live life at the fullest. If you spend as much time on your hands as I think you do in looking for a "good bf", then you might consider not being so cautious towards future relationships. Being cautious is just wasting precious time away. Think about it.

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A good bf or gf doesnt necessarily mean he or she cant stay out past midnight or whatever.. it just means that a good bf or a good gf is someone you can laugh with and smile with, share your joys and fears and sadness (like you said) but more importantly, a good bf or a good gf, is someone who doesnt lead you into temptation or causes you to do bad stuff like drugs, smoke or suicide...And no, being cautious is not wasteful.. To me, it is one step in knowing who my real partner should be, because if i just hurry through life, then my future marriage life or future relationship life will be a mess and i dont want to go back again to being hurt and have a messy relationship... To me, if you just grab onto the first guy or girl, then that means, you are headed for trouble because you didnt have the initiative to be cautious. And being cautious saves you from being heartbroken.

You're right. However, what do you mean exactly by a "good bfs or gfs"? I think it just depends on your definition of a good person. If you're referring to someone who does their homework every single night and never stays out past midnight, doesn't drink, smoke, party or any socializing whatsoever, then your definition is completely off. Love is about finding someone you can laugh with, smile with. Share your secrets with and love. Not someone who will not pressure you into doing anything you don't want to do. Every person has a good side to them, you just have to look for it. Go ahead and waste your time going crazy over a guy that's not good. Live life at the fullest. If you spend as much time on your hands as I think you do in looking for a "good bf", then you might consider not being so cautious towards future relationships. Being cautious is just wasting precious time away. Think about it.

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I agree with Celtic. Jamaica, it's not about having a "good bf or good gf". It's about finding someone you're crazy over. Someone you can be yourself with. No one should play games with love or affairs or whatever you want to call it. Either way, treat a relationship as if you would treat the last chocolate bar on Earth. With care.

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Yes, it is.... because to me, why would i waste my time going crazy over someone when he is not good? He will just end up hurting me and making me cry or something. Love in all reality, is everything good. So, yes, Celtic has a point, but in relationships, it is not just about how many bfs or gfs you have, but it is finding a good bf or a good gf and someone you can be yourself with too (you have a point too) Besides, when you are with someone good, you are already assured that he/she will take care of you, respect you and will not pressure you into anything you dont want to do.....

I agree with Celtic. Jamaica, it's not about having a "good bf or good gf". It's about finding someone you're crazy over. Someone you can be yourself with. No one should play games with love or affairs or whatever you want to call it. Either way, treat a relationship as if you would treat the last chocolate bar on Earth. With care.

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I don't think games should be played; I don't like putting any guy through that "She likes me!" then "She hates me!" and then just confuse him. I don't see the point in playing hard to get either, granted, don't drool on anyone, but pretending to not like the person for attention is pathetic. I'd rather be honest.

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i agree with Celtic... LOVE is really serious, at least to me... because if you treat it as a game, you'll never get a good bf or good gf in the future and you'll always be playing games for the rest of your life.

love sucks. crushes suck. guys who are hot suck. sorry, i'm like in a bad mood. my ex still might like me but i like this other guy who i also hate (not really) because he's such a confusing pain in the butt, and oh, his name is the same as my ex boyfriends. I dunno if he likes me, his friends tell me he does, i dunno if they're kidding, he gets nervous around me sometimes or at least it seems like it cuz he juss shuts up, (he normally talks as much as i do, alot) and i don't know what to freakin do besides jump up in the middle of class, proclaim my love for him, and then run out and move to another country. by the way, i would not actually do that. Love sucks, it's all a game and i'm losing.

I don't think games should be played; I don't like putting any guy through that "She likes me!" then "She hates me!" and then just confuse him. I don't see the point in playing hard to get either, granted, don't drool on anyone, but pretending to not like the person for attention is pathetic. I'd rather be honest.

I know what you mean, Barkid. There's zounds of arbitrary "rules" out there. Unfortunately, it seems like more and more people (and by "people" I guess I really mean girls) are forgetting that these rules are arbitrary.

I think I can speak on behalf of all guys when I say this: we don't get subtlety, and we don't do subtlety. To us, subtlety is not romantic, it's confusing. If you think we're dropping you subtle hints about how we feel about you, you're almost certainly wrong. It would benefit everyone if both sexes were more direct and more obvious. Unfortunately for guys like me, being direct and obvious is very hard.

i think romance shouldnt be a game because you deal with your heart and the heart is very sensitive....