After suffering from a bout of PD (panic disorder) over the summer, I really do think I understand suicide a lot better. Beforehand, I didn't understand how anyone could even think of committing it either, as everyone really does have something to live for. I think one of the most common misconceptions about suicidal people is that they don't realize how much they have to live for. I think they do realize how much they have, but they do not see it as being enough to keep going on when compared to the crippling depression they're facing.
That might sound proposterous to us, but in their minds what they truly have, while being objectively realized, does not carry with it the proper emotional connotation it should. For example, a suicidal guy might think of his girlfriend, and acknowledge that he loves her and that they have had good times together, but not be able to recall those good times as they truly were. Depression slips a kind of veil over everything, making the good in life seem muted and unimportant while the bad in live seems persistent and inevitable. When depression gets bad enough, the bad feelings may reach a point where they are all-encompasing. It is in these moments that suicidal people take their lives.
Others will stand around after a person commits suicide, confused, wondering why he/she did it when they clearly had so much to live for. So really, it is all a matter of perspective and outlook, and the way depression changes that perspective and outlook. This is why it is absolutely necessary to stop friends from commiting suicide, even if they claim that if you stop them now they'll just do it tomorrow. Brain chemistry can change, sometimes quickly and sometimes over long periods of time, and outlook changes with it.
In other words, sometimes things will seem immeasurably better for a suicidal person mere hours after he almost does the deed, and the thought that he was considering ending his life will seem ridiculous to him. Other times, this change in outlook takes weeks to occur; sometimes it takes years, and sometimes it just never happens. But there's always the chance that it might. That chance is, in fact, very large, and in teenagers it's almost a guarantee. Brain chemistry changes in the teen years like nobody's business, creating severe emotional instability.
It also deserves mention that even deeply depressed people, like all of us, experience many mood fluctuations throughout a day. Even a person who thinks life is not worth living will have points during any given day when he stops to consider that maybe it is.
So to recite the old advice: if you're feeling suicidal, take medications to help put things back in perspective. Eat healthy foods, get a good night's rest, and try to do uplifting things. There's no guarantee that any of these methods will work, but they're certainly worth a shot. And if you're seriously considering doing the deed itself, just remember that you're bound to feel at least a little better soon, and that there is really a pretty good chance happiness will strike again, and when it does, the depression you're currently in will become as hard to imagine as happiness is right now.
Wow. I really rambled.
And then, as the books were told, Fina replied: "A can of worms, my dear friend? What has this to do with reason?"
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