This is mainly to the Yners I have known since I joined almost three years ago, but anyone can answer.

Three years ago, where were you? What did you want out of your life? What were your views on things? Did anything life-changing happen?

I ask this simply because the realization that time flies and I am no longer a child and soon will have to take care of myself is somewhat overwhelming. If only I could have known better beforehand, I would have not done many of the mistakes I did.

I remember when I first joined YN (I use YN here as a timeline because one of the curses in this site is, if you've been here long enough, the site has seen you grow up mentally more than others). I was starting my Lolita-whore phase thanks to a recent rape, was meddling with New Age and the like, wanted to be a surgeon, and was in a very destructive relationship. My spelling was that of an IM generation teenager. I had lost most of my friends to harsh rumours and came to a forum for some sense that there were people like myself.

Second year at YN. In my non-online life, I got out of the relationship above and got in one with a religiously fanatical schizophrenic. I was suffering with "teenage angst" and no one at my home could stand me. I was officially a whore, running off at night and everything. I felt like my family despised me. When things got a bit better, I left the religious nut. Jamaica also began the stalking thing two years ago so that was an event for my online-life, especially with the "you deserved to be raped" comment, which the oldies know how I reacted to that.

Recently....I don't know. I thought this school year would be horrible. Worse than the others. I dreaded August because that is when school begins here. And here I am...nearly April...and I love school. I've made decent friends and found my first true love, the cool kids hate me (here, the cool kids are the ghetto kids, or "cacos", and the losers are the rockers/goths/emo/etc, or the "roqueros"), most teachers love me but one hates me as well, I almost got suspended, I'm a top 10 student at the school, the entire HS expirience good and bad. Life feels like a twisted novel...here I am trying to be normal whilst getting over so much of the past, but happiness is around me as well. And this specific stage of my life flew past me. It will end in May. It sucks ass. I regret not having enjoyed my highschool years enough.

So, tell me how have you changed since the past three years..or since middle school...however you wish...

Geez. I don't know. I've only been here for what? Five or so months, and the visits haven't been too regular lately because I have a full schedule like whoa!! University has me doing acrobatics to keep ahead...

Have never been an avid poster because I have yet to see the topic in this place that sufficiently arouses my interest and passion to have me posting like every other day, so I stick to the randomosity threads and the games, polls, etc. with a comment every now and then for boredom's sake... still like Youth Noise though. Kool site.

Let's see... any changes in the past past three years.. WEll, I started university last semester, and I have not stopped changing since then. Everyday I find something new about myself here. Life has just not been the same. In high school, I too was the bookworm, but I was the geek without the glasses, the nerd minus the buff teeth. I was, and still am, an avid christian (no debates please - you didn't get me to discuss or defend it in all those religious threads, trust me, you won't get me to do it now! Besides, if I needed conversion to something else, I'd check with a reputable source that I respect, not you!) And to top all of that off, I was the classic case of antisocialism and had all the regular teenage insecurities.I had issues of space and time and hardly any friends - just one or two people who probably felt sorry for me because of how absolutely stuck on my l;ittle problems I was. I was the goody too shoe, the miss prim and proper and do the right thing at all times fanatic. My classmates hated me, though now that I look back on it, they probably respected me more, because they stopped doing a million and one stuff in my presence that they usually did. And I never really told them not to, they just felt uncomfortable doing them around me because they knew I disapproved.... wierd.... but I was always a little sparky... getting first or second place in class, honour roll every year... always getting prizes at the awards ceremony... and always the teacher's pet (hey! I couldn't help it, I did ALL or rather most of my work on time and was ALWAYS respectful and they loved me for it... I didnt ask for it, they just chose me). I came from and still come from a fully functional and stable family (sorry for all the people who were hoping for another dysfunctional, major depression and drug use story- nope, the reality is, we don't all go through it. Some of us just get a good start and run with it-it doesn't make us any less, or any better...). I also loved and still love school and learning.

Now, I've realised that my life is exaxctly that: MINE. Therefore I make the most and best of it everyday. I strike up a convo with a perfect stranger without the slightest care about what he/she thinks of me (read my sig). One of my favourite hobbies is laughing, because a healthy dose of laughter actually gets me inspired and just ignites my creativity (hey, dont ask me, I cant explain it either, but its true...) I live for the joy of the moment and I dare to go out and do new stuff. I'm no longer hold back. I give everything I do all I've got. Since I've come to university, I've actually become a student leader and part of the executive bodies of several various organizations... so this give it all you've got thing must really be working...

I also used to be somewhat narrow minded. Now I try my best to accept people because they are PEOPLE and everybody is somebody. No badgering, no hassle, people are just people... by the way Celtic, I'm Jamaican, so when that "you deserve rape" bit was going on, I was right here in the thick of it... and still am here with several other interesting controversies... One of my favourite sayings: we live in interesting times, it proves truer every day. I used to think that only our parents got to see history unfold and have revolutions, but now I recognise that we see history unfold before us every day, most times we just never recognise it til afterwards.... so I make it my duty to enjoy every moment of everything I do, and well, yeah, I've changed, definitely-- but for the better, I suddenly see life as this big adventure, or a puzzle where all the peices fall at random with the intention that you enjoying every unexpected bit of it- good or bad. It aint easy, but hey, nobody said it would be and even if they did, recognise that people lie sometimes, and deal with it...

I'm a hyped up, optimistic jamaican teen, and yeah, that wasn't me three years ago, but that's who I am now, and love it...

I figure, life's here and I'm here, so let's just try to make the combination work...

And oh yeah, I realise I'm getting older too...

Awesome thread.

Let's see...three years ago I would have been a sophomore in high school. I don't mean to write a sob story, but my life made a lot more sense back then. I had a sort of spirituality going on that I haven't been able to recapture on any sort of a long-term basis since late 2003. I didn't really know what I wanted out of life then and I still don't, but that doesn't really bother me. I guess my only goal is to be happy. I didn't know what I wanted to be then and, again, I still don't, but the same professions sound appealing: freelance writer, politician, psychologist. As long as I'm happy and I find myself a perfect (or at least reasonably attractive) babe, it's all good.

Back in 2003, I actually had a lot more friends and social contacts and a lot more girls interested in me (granted, the current number of the latter, zero, is not difficult to top). I think my social skills are actually dulling with age.

In the summer of 2004, I started having panic attacks on a daily basis for no apparent reason and fell into depression. I was diagnosed with Panic Disorder, with a big healthy dose of Generalized Anxiety Disorder on the side. The panic attacks/anxiety have been a big problem for me ever since, so in a lot of ways I feel like I lost a lot more independence around my seventeenth birthday than I gained. For instance, I can no longer see myself flying across the country by myself to visit friends and relatives as I did in the summers of 2001 and 2002 (and oh man, was that trip to Maryland really five years ago now?).

I've only reached total meltdown status twice in my life: in the summer of 2004 and in the late winter of 2006. So yeah, I'm coming off a majorly shitty time at the moment, but I'm confident I'll bounce back and put all this crap behind me someday.

As for how my views on stuff have changed...I know a lot more about politics now than I did then and, ironically, I'm much less inclined to discuss it online. Part of it is that I'm sick of the oversimplified debates that inhabit way too many forums ("Bush is da gr8test pres. ever!" vs "Bush is a MORON! LOL!"), but mostly it's because I've realized that debating politics is now pointless because people feel entitled to their own set of facts. We seem to have hit a point where everything can be classified as subjective...after six years of careful analysis of an extremely bold president's every move, we can't even come to a general consensus on whether he's doing a good job or not. It's sad. I now realize that no matter how much good evidence I can raise on a point, there will always be a college-educated asshole waiting to explain to me how Bush's spying on Americans is somehow a consequence of Clinton's sexual exploits. Sadly, all it takes to come off as a political genius is a good familiarity with the English language and a knowledge of the correct names and terms. So I'll just be sticking to the occasional snarky comment, thank you very much.

Wow, I went through that whole paragraph without actually explaining how my political views changed over the last three years, so here goes: I'm less supportive of strict gun control, less supportive of affirmative action, and increasingly annoyed by animal rights activists. I still consider myself a liberal through and through, though.

Three years ago, I was an Agnostic who believed there was a lot of spirituality in the world but who mistrusted organized religion. Then I became a militant Agnostic, the type who believed organized religion of any kind was contributing to the destruction of the world and that it was up to people like me rise up and tried to save it. Nowadays, I'm a bit more tolerant of organized religion, and I understand that the reform church on the corner does not just offer a watered down version of Jerry Falwell's inane ramblings, but something else entirely. Still, I view people who have done things like "devoted their lives to God" with extreme trepidation.

I think one of the great truths about being a teenager is that no matter what your circumstances are, you (to some degree) think you were a tasteless idiot three years ago. I could give a few examples, but I'll settle for saying that when I was a high school sophomore I liked the band P.O.D. That seems more than adequate.

As for big, life-changing events...well, my best friend from elementary school committed suicide last December. I don't think about that too much, actually, and I don't blame any of my current mental problems on it, but it's definitely bothering me at a subconscious level. He shows up in my dreams almost nightly.

Anyway, I have the feeling I've rambled way too much, so I'll end here.

I have to say this... and I hope you don't find it awkward or obnox b/c I know you were pissed at me earlier on the randomosity thread and so you can just ignore me if you want celtic.

Ok, what I have to say is that I think that you are amazing to post this and let people know all about your past and the hard stuff that you dealt with. That's just so amazing and I just had to say I seriously very much admire that.

K, I'm done. Thank you for a truly amazing post.

It's amazing how much I've changed in the past year alone! One of the more disadvantageous changes is that I procrastinate more often because I am more lenient of my own laziness. This ends now...!

My first year on YN was pretty pathetic. I was only twelve. I was so huge on animals' rights, which I still support, only more realisticly. I was a fairly timid poster, only telling people off about wearing fur when I felt the need. Heh.

Second year I was pretty much away from YN, returing only occassionally. It was during part of the lowest point of my life, and I was really discouraged about doing things regarding issues I frankly didn't care about at the time.

This year, my third, I'm here pretty often and now trying to ween myself off of debates and other threads. I have learned more than I can even really believe, as usually happens in one's childhood. I've "fully" discovered passions like writing, poetry, psychology, philosophy, languages, music, dance, herpetology, history (thanks to YN), science, and art.

Especially since I've undergone huge developmental changes in the past three years, I've become much more informed and mature. I've become more actively compassionate by volunteering and helping people in daily life. I'm much less naive and idealistic, though I'm often too uncertain about things (damn Gemininess). Now I just need to be more organized, and I'll be on my merry way!

I know how you feel about using the site as a time line...

Two years ago, in early 2004, I joined YN and was one of those annoying over zealous gay teenagers. I was just coming out to my friends and only a few months later to my family. I was kicked out of my house, finishing up 8th grade and getting some perspective about the world and people from both YN and a harassment case that I was involved in.

Second year at YN, I was a lot more laid back. I went through a crappy year of school but, I had skipped freshman year so I spent a while adjusting. My family situation improved for a while and so did things on YN after originally being a YNloser. It was not long after that I joined the YAB and Peer Mod team which added a whole new perspective to YN.

3rd (current) year on YN. I spend more time observing on YN than actually participating. My year has been crazy between school and moving back to my mom's house. I've grown up a lot recently and will start college classes in the fall. I've began to emerge myself in more community service activities (I guess YN's influence is really showing) tutoring math and participating in Habitat for humanity.


I didn't realize how long I've been here... Time really does fly.

I have also become a lot more laid back. I remember at this time last year I was freaking out because of AP tests and my big end of the program project for Global Ed...I was so uptight! Now I am more of a "I'm only going to gt 4 hours of sleep tonight because I put off my paper instead of getting ahead on my work, oh well..." tyoe of person. It makes life a lot easier, let me tell you.

Three years ago, I was only 10, so of course I have matured since then. I was a bookworm who cried over getting a B on her report card. I have just been realizing how important life is. I can't say I have done anything drastic or crazy or done an extremely good deed, but hey, I'm only 13, and hopefully, I still have a long while to accomplish the things I want to do with my life. All I know at the moment is that I want to become a psychotherapist and maybe work with teenage girls who suffer from eating disorders or are suffering from depression, or at least that's what I think I want to do, but I still have another 3 to 4 years to think about that. Joining YN has actually helped improve my outlook on life and helped me learn that I most definitely need to think about my actions and plans before I carry through with them. It has also helped me stick to what I believe in and helped those beliefs grow. And of course, it has helped improve my grammar.

Three years ago I was a naive teen girl who had no idea what she wanted to do in her life. Mostly through my amazing support clan at SCYM, I kind of got some direction to my life, found out my strengths and made a blueprint for my future. Now I am a naive young adult girl who is still incredibly idealistic (surprisingly...after 3 years on this site) who still is not 100% sure of what she will do tomorrow, but at least she has a goal. I want to get my bachelor's degree at UDM in Political Science with minors in legal studies, intermediate and advanced language studies (Spanish) and business administration. Then I want to go to law school and become an attorney. And if my plans change along the way, then so be it, but at least I actually have a plan now.

well, i havent been on yn even a year but yeah shit changes. 3 years ago i was a pretty ok kid...since then i've flipped the finger on religion, started using drugs, became quite promiscuouis (sp)... then other things happened...now i volunteer and i'm a nanny and yeah...things change....nice post celtic

Oh man from the past three years, Maturity I'm still pretty crazy but over the past three years I've started driving towards my goal of becoming a Marine and because of that I'm more polite, I work harder in everything I do. A complete 180 from what I used to be which was a bookworm who didn't give a shit about anything