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Registered: October 15, 2002
Posts: 49
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Today, one of my friends revealed to me that for years, she had slit her wrists, and is suicidal. I really care about her, and if anyone can give me some sort of advice about how to help her...PLEASE!!!
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Registered: April 23, 2003
Posts: 1
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Just tell her that you care about her and that you are there for her. Don't be to pushy on talking about the topic. She told you she does it so she does want your help. If she brings it up again listen to her and support her. She may not know why she does it. She might not be suicidal you shouldn't jump to that conclusion. I cut and I'm not suicidal. But don't just toltally dismiss that she is because she might be. You only can jsut talk to her and let her say what she needs. Because in the end she will have to be the one who helps her
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Registered: January 16, 2003
Posts: 12687
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....well, what can I tell you? I think you should listen to what she has to say, she obviously needs to vent. I also think that you should get help, you can't do this on your own, too stressful for you, plus you can't be with her 24/7. Find out what's making her feel suicidal for such a long time. It sounds to me that if she's been doing this for such a long time than she must really be in pain. Most important, show that you care, listen to her, give her all your affection, kind words and hugs. Let her know that life is more wonderful than she thinks and that death is not a solution to her problem.
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Registered: March 08, 2003
Posts: 2426
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quote: Just because she cuts doesn't mean she's suicidal.
geminiangel is usually flying off the handle about something or other, but this statement is correct. People who cut themselves sometimes do it to remind themselves that they are human. It takes an incredble pain to really kill yourself, and sometimes by sort of comiting the act, you understand it isn't worth dying over. LuckyKaren7 This girl has trouble and I won't deny that, but the fact that she has told you shows she is willing to open lines of communication, which is very good. Sometimes it is just a matter of getting all the BS of the world off your chest. I think what Teddy said was good advice... How do you know someone wants to kill themselves. Most of the time...NOT ALL! Someone who may commit suicide is depressed alot, maybe quite, and even sometimes the class clown. But more then likely they have a low self opinion of themselves. I have taken a class and have learned first hand what someone is like when they are REALLY going to do it. They usually have a very sudden change in character, in most cases they are HAPPY! And that is the part most people miss, they say oh look how happy so and so is today I can't believe people think they are so sad. The last day I saw a friend I remember saying to someone else "what's with Jeremy, why is he so happy today?" Well Jeremy got off the bus that day ran down his driveway laughing, went in the house, loaded a shotgun and ended his life. Everyone though he was just finally happy, and he was, because he was ending the pain. These are sure signs your friend may be in very deep trouble, please watch for this sort of behavior, it cost me a friend.
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Registered: December 29, 2002
Posts: 1854
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I'm not good at this but I will try:
1. I think you should ask her why she does it?
2. Try to listen more than talk but don't stay mute either.
3. I know people might think it's good to say, "yea, I understand" but for me it was never good but if you want to try that you always could, everyone is different.
4. Try to work something out with her, like every time she feels the need to cut then she could call you instead. Or ask her what her favorite thing is to do and tell her everything she needs to cut, do that instead.
5. If she does cut instead of doing something else, tell her to write it down so she could know how many time she does cuts and why, I don't know why but that works.
6. Be there for her. Yea, tell her that you care but that never helped me either so I don't know if it might help her. But, like I said everyone is different.
7. Joke: I know it's hard to joke about cutting but really it's actually fun when you make fun of something that she thinks controls her. It's like laughing at something that is way bigger and powerful than you, she would feel more powerful and bigger than that.
I think that's about all I could think of, I know there's more, that I did but I can't remember. Darn it, I'm sorry. If I remember, I will be running to tell you okay?
The things To Me: you should do:
1. Don't get mad, sad or upset with her. Don't show any strong emotions at first it scares the person to death.
2. Don't get a counselor or someone else. You could do this, your the best person who could do this. She trusted you enough to let you know about this so you have to trust her enough that if she really knows she is cutting to actually kill herself and what your doing isn't helping her then she will get someone on her own. (Because Gemini is right cutting doesn't always mean your suicidal, cutting means a lot of things for a lot of different people so just give her a chance to do this on her own) But you said she is suicidal so do you actually know she is cutting to try to kill herself? If your helping doesn't work and you know because she told you that she feels like killing herself, then encourage her to get someone.
3. Yea, like everyone else said BE CALM DON'T FREAK OUT. It's not good for both of you.
4. Don't treat her like a freak or a child but I don't think you will. You seem too nice and willing to understand to actually do that.
5. Don't talk about her dying. That is the worse thing to do. At least I think so.
6. Don't jump her with lots of questions at a time.
I think there's more for this one too but I can't remember, sorry.
Hope I helped but I don't think I did
Bye N Have a nice day
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Registered: March 21, 2003
Posts: 84
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gemini.... seriously... i'm not gonna freak out on you yet... i'll give you a chance to justify yourself, but at this point you really need to be smacked... hard
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Registered: August 17, 2001
Posts: 6956
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Just because she cuts doesn't mean she's suicidal.
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Registered: April 17, 2003
Posts: 4
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Talk to her. Try and help her one on one and then after a while if there is still no improvement get outside help or else she will never get better. It might feel like betrayal but it would hurt her more not to help her even if it means getting help from others.
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Registered: March 22, 2003
Posts: 57
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I'm very sorry that this is happening. Here are some things you can do.
1. Stay calm! If you freak out (especially around your friend) things could get worse. 2. Tell your friend you care about her and would be really upset if anything ever happened to her. 3. Encourage your friend to tell a counselour or trusted adult. He/she needs help! If your friend won't tell anybody go to his/her parents, a school counselour, or any other adult who can help you and tell them yourself.
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Registered: April 05, 2003
Posts: 1063
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Tell her how much you care about her and ask her to talk to a counselor or pastor or something.
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Registered: February 08, 2003
Posts: 1472
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ask her y is she doing that
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Registered: December 19, 2002
Posts: 1708
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quote: I really care about her
Tell her that.
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