I have been in your shoes! I used to cut myself just so I could feel the pain outside of my heart, but the pain never went away! I got caught this year cutting myself, and I have had to talk to people about it! The only advice I can offer you is to talk to someone you can trust. I ended up talking to my pastors wife! You can always talk to God He is always there ready to listen to you! Remeber He loves you and so do I! I will pray for you! But you gotta promise me something, promise me you will get some help!I hope that helps!