Ok so when I was 13, one of my guy friends raped me. He raped me twice and he was my bestfriend's boyfriend. He told me if I ever told I would regret the day I was born and that scared me so I kept it a secret for a year. I dealt with bulemia and cutting myself (which I stll do) and I attempted suicide. My friend saved my life, they sent me to a "Crazy house", and I said all the right things to get out of there. I don't want to press charges I don't even want to see the dudes face ever again, but my mom has been baggering me to take it to the court, but I can't it still hurts after a year, it was my fault anyway, because I was going to have sex with him, but I changed my mind after I was already half-naked. and maybe I deserved it, he was my friend's boyfriend, what a whore am I. My rep got ruined cuz of him, he told my friend what "we" did and, she hated me, she made everyone hate me, and I was left the social outkast for a year, I only have like 2 friends and I barely get to see them cuz my mom thinks there a bad influence on me. Ughh I hate me for everybody else. I'm a slut and I'm an emo freak and I'm fat. Ughh life sucks dosen't it

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and, she hated me, she made everyone hate me, and I was left the social outkast for a year, I only have like 2 friends and I barely get to see them cuz my mom thinks there a bad influence on me. Ughh I hate me for everybody else. I'm a slut and I'm an emo freak and I'm fat. Ughh life sucks dosen't it

As everyone else stated, it is DEFINITElY not your fault. The fact that he did it at all is what counts- not the circumstances before hand.

You remind me of the main character in the novel Speak.

remember it is NEVER your fault.
im sorry for what happened to you, and what you are still going tthrough. but we cannot change the past. focus on your future, do you really want to spend your life hating yourself, blaming yourself, for one evil,evil person?
forgive yourself, this guy must be mucked up in the head, not your fault.
join a club, sports, youth club, whatever.
try speaking to a friend, or a member of your family.
Accept what happened, and think, that it is the hardest thing that you will ever have to go through. look forward to the future.
good luck , keep well.
jade
x
( email me if you want to talk-- iamjadeh@yahoo.co.uk )

xxx

I agree with what everyone else has put. In no way is this your fault. Simialar things have happened to people I know and it wasn't their fault either. It was that guys fault. He was stupid and dumb and perverted. Any guy who does that to a girl especailly you should be charged. IT doesnt matter how long ago it was. He was wrong. It was not your fault. I hope everything works out and I will pray for you.

Girl u seariously cant blame urself cause some dude cant control hisself and if he was seariously into ur friend he would of never even thought about having sex with u. I feel you thou because all my elementary years I was molested and it was by a person that was my blood. I think you should take him to trial. Because if he did this what makes u think he wont again. Those friends u have keep them close even if ur mom doesnt approve of them.If that girl was rally ur friend she would of just left u alone even after she found out that yall supposible did do it but you see those types of people arent needed so brush ur shoulders off and keep it pimpin and im sure ur pretty so stop cutting ur cause I have a minor case of anerexia and Im not proud of it and you have 3 friends now

What happened was in no way, shape, or form your fault. I don't care if you told the guy you would have sex with him, I don't care if you were in the middle of having sex with him, the second you asked him to stop he should have stopped. So please do not feel like this is your fault.

That being said, I have to agree with what Ikki and Lissa have already posted. The numbers that Ikki linked to can be really helpful, as can reaching out to people like us or to other people in or near your community who have gone through similar experiences. I realize talking about this is a big step and takes a lot of guts on your part and I totally respect you for being able to do this because I think in the end it'll really help.

I have to second what Ikki said, this was in no way your fault and you certainly didn’t deserve it. I hope you get a chance to check out the resources in the link that Ikki sent. If you can’t find anything you are looking for just let us know and we’ll do what we can to help. It is certainly understandable you don’t want to relive this over and over but it is important to talk to somebody about what’s going on and how you are feeling because it is most certainly time to get your life back!

As far as your Mom goes, when it comes to your friends – speaking as a mother of two teenage girls – try keeping her in the loop and being honest with her as much as you possibly can. Chances are if you do she will (in most cases anyway) understand more about how you’ve been feeling. As odd as it may seem, her “distrust” about your friends may only be fear talking because she doesn’t want you to get hurt.

Hang in there and let us know if we can help.

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it was my fault anyway, because I was going to have sex with him, but I changed my mind after I was already half-naked. and maybe I deserved it, he was my friend's boyfriend, what a whore am I.

It was not your fault by any means. You can say no at any time and anything that occurs after that is legally considered sexually assault or rape.


Even if you don't want to press charges, I advise you to seek help in other ways. If possible, try to find a therapist or someone you can talk to confidentially about all of this.

If you go to the Peer to Peer Counsel section of these forums, there are a bunch of numbers et al to use if you need them.