I’m a 16 year old girl who has always thought she was straight, but a firm advocate of gay rights. I’ve never actually kissed a boy, but I’ve always been attracted to them. But I have a friend (a girl) who wants to be a boy, so I guess that makes him transgender. And I’m kinda confused about my relationship with him. We’ve always flirted, but in kidding, I guess. I really like this friend as a person, and if he were an actual guy, I would love to date him, and I think he would love to date me. I don’t really know if I like him in a sexual way or anything. But if I did, or these feelings developed more, I’m confused about whether that makes me bi, or gay, or whatever. This issue really isn’t tormenting me, and I don’t feel like I’m living a lie, or like anyone would like me less if it turned out I am bi. I mean, I walked around my school wearing a pin that said, “love is tender and knows no gender” that he pinned on me, so it’s not like I feel tons of pressure to be straight and that’s what’s keeping my feelings in. I was just looking for some perspective.

As author Leslie Feinberg explains in the book, "Trans Liberation: Beyond Pink or Blue," "That pink-blue dogma assumes that biology steers our social destiny. We have been taught that being born female or male will determine how we will dress and walk, whether we will prefer our hair shortly cropped or long and flowing, whether we will be emotionally nurturing or repressed.
According to this way of thinking, masculine females are trying to look "like men," and feminine males are trying to act "like women." But those of us who transgress those gender assumptions also shatter their inflexibility."

- http://www.tgcrossroads.org/news/archive.asp?aid=584

I have a transgendered friend (currently, zie is physically a girl) who's dating a girl, but they have moved beyond calling themselves "lesbians." Though the "girl" of the relationship is physically repulsed by men, she is in awe of the male protector ideal of her "boy"friend. I don't really think it matters what gender you are, or even what sexuality you are...there's so much gray area, you can't pin down something to call yourself. Anyway, if you pin yourself down as a lesbian or as bi, then you're still not really saying that you're interested in the transgendered people in your life...you would have to be pansexual, at least, to date anyone who is transgendered.

There's also genderqueer, which is when a person is part female, part male, or has no gender. I mean, there's SO much gray area...I don't really think it's important to pin down a name for yourself - anyway, isn't that kind of labelling? And doesn't that make life a little boring?

DNA does not determine anything. It merely provides a template. Gender is not hardwired into humanity.

Nor, ironically enough, is sexuality. But that's a debate for a different time.

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her DNA still saids she a female.

My DNA says I'm a female with blue eyes, brown hair, caucasian, and other various features mixed in. But I have tendecies, I act and do things, that are more like a guy than of my actual gender. So, does that mean, if a guy decided to like me and asked me out, he in turn would be gay?

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her DNA still saids she a female.

Right, but is it the actual DNA that matters or who the person really is?

If she actually did get a gender change and then you went out with her. Then you would be gay. Cause she is still a female no matter how much she tries to change her body, her DNA still saids she a female.

If s/he is still physically a girl, it would be considered a lesbian relationship. That's not your or my call, that's how society would view it. But if you're like me and don't give a fiddler's far what society thinks, more power to you.

Since he is transgendered, you're considered straight for liking him. I think perhaps bi in a special case. It's not like you're looking for girls, but the person you like just happens to have that body, even though that's not who they feel like inside.

Hm, well, do you think of him as a boy? If so, I don't think that makes you lesbian or bi to yourself, though other people will think you are if you engage in a relationship with him, I think. Its a psychological thing on your behalf.