i just found out my friend was raped by an older guy while she was on drugs. i know i need to tell someone but who first??? please help, i'm am very distraught and scared for her.

I agree with Locke. Nicely said.

I personally think you should immediatley tell her parents because if you wait too long trhenm the evidence will go away and then there will be nothig she will be able to do. Do you not watch Degrassi?

The first thing i would do is ask if she has seeked any help. Some people get defensive if they think that you think they are helpless. Then ask her if it she really was on drugs. She could be making that up to justify his/her actions. Then seek help from yuor parents. They have wisdom and experiace with stuff like this. Good luck and God Bless!!!!!

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Originally posted by Locke:
Crazyloo I would just like to start off by saying that you are a great friend to worry about someone so much. Next, if she's been physically taken care of and all the tests show that she'll be fine that's good news, you can rest easy. However, now is the time you need to be there for her she needs good friends like you to actively listen to her and respond to her needs. Things like these tend to leave deep emotional gashes that never go away. All you can do as a friend is make sure she knows in her heart that you will always be there for her.

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Very Well Said.

And she is a very lucky girl to have people like you and your mom there for her.

There's not much you can do but comfort her and I suggest she takes an AIDs test and a pregnancy test.

talk to her first and tell her that you're going to tell someone. Find someone that the both of you trust and tell them and then go from there. But please tell someone soon, for her.

Crazyloo I would just like to start off by saying that you are a great friend to worry about someone so much. Next, if she's been physically taken care of and all the tests show that she'll be fine that's good news, you can rest easy. However, now is the time you need to be there for her she needs good friends like you to actively listen to her and respond to her needs. Things like these tend to leave deep emotional gashes that never go away. All you can do as a friend is make sure she knows in her heart that you will always be there for her.

Calcoastsurfer, you probably haven't taken things like that so you probably dont know how they affect people. But yes, that's the POINT of antidepressents, is to change your emotions. They did to mine and i'm a whole new person.

by the way this is also crazyloo.

she smoked pot, and she was drunk....my mom and i took her to our local teen pregnancy center, and they gave her tests and did everything needed...her parents still don't know, they would kill her, but she is physically taken care of, but not emotionally.

If you are referring to antidepressants or drugs her parents might put her on (you weren't very clear what drugs you were referring to), I don't believe in any drugs that affect your emotions.

Perhaps you can call one of the numbers here to get some information.

coastalsurfer, have you thought of the consequenses for the drugs would be?! It would ruin her life. Not saying that she shouldn't get help, you should just take that aspect into account.

Tell her to tell her parents. She probably needs counciling, someone to talk to, and definetely needs to get tested for STD's.

talk to an adult, they'll know what to do better than another teen. make sure it is someone that both you and your friend trust. if it isn't, your friend might not be willing to accept the help she needs. she may need to get pyschiatric treatment to help her deal with what has happened and she'll certainly need to see an regular physician. whatever you do, do not tell another teen because like it or not, the general rule is anything one person knows your whole school will know within about 3 hours (depending on size).
just as a warning to you, sometimes friends will react negatively when the initially find out that you "told their secret", even if it is for their own good. your friend is probably very embarrassed and does not want to talk about it or let anyone else know, but that's normal. just be prepared for the fact that your friend could be angry at you for a while, but eventually she will see that you told because you care about her and she'll thank you later, i promise

Umm i agree with bella but she might want to go to a hosipatal to see if she is pregant or if the guy has hiv/aids

I can see why you're scared:
1. she would get in trouble for being into drugs if you told
2. the consequenses could be harsh.

But she needs help. ANYONE who is assaulted, raped, molested, etc. needs some sort of help. It does things to you. Try telling a parent or a trusted adult, but do NOT, i repeat, do not share this with close friends, because anyone's prone to leak juicy information like that. Or, you could talk to a leader of a club, group, etc. you're in. Try approaching it in a good way, although it'll be hard.

Hope that helped.