Ok, there's a girl I know, who's really good-looking and loads of boys like her… and she wants to keep it that way. She has a boyfriend but she doesn't want the other boys to know about it so she can carry on flirting with them. She leads people on when she isn't really interested in them at all, just to get the satisfaction of knowing she can have them. What I am asking is, is this wrong? Is it just good fun to use your looks or any other charms to manipulate the opposite sex, or is it cruel and self-serving?

I know what my opinion is, but what's yours?

Meh, I posted this thread a long time ago… I dunno if she's still doing that… In any case they all know about her boyfriend these days. I think everyone likes attention but being deliberately manipulative isn't the best way to get it. If you can't get something honestly, what's the point?

Bex

I think that what she is doing is wrong. Not because she is flirting essentially but because she is not letting others know she has a boyfriend ONLY because she wants the guys to keep wanting her. I think even with the knowledge that she has a bf they would still probably like her, they may even like her more and still want her because they can't have her.
I think it's best for her (and for others including her bf)to let others know that she is in a relationship because it seems as though she is just using her bf. Because she brings no mention of him, making it seem as though she does not really care for him (or atleast enough). It'll be ok to tell others cause i'm sure they'll still like her but they just may not make the mistake of hitting on someone they cannot have, and save them from hurting for no reason.

if a guy is that willing to be manipulated then go for it. i mean c'mon they really are asking for it. im a guy and am more interested in being friends with tons of girls. i dunno why but girls are easier for me to understand. but yeah wutever have a good time. if they are stupid enough to bite then let them

It's okay as long as you don't take it too far and into ****dom, in which case you go from that 'Flirt' to that 'Slapper'

In my opinion, I think manipulating the opposite sex is ok to an extent. It can be pretty fun lol. But if your friend is hurting these guys, then she's probably going too far, especially since she has a boyfriend.

Sometimes people flirt with other people on accident. I know that sounds really stupid, but that's what wappened to me. Last year this guy started hanging out w/ me and my friends, and most of us didn't know who he was. Well, I can get pretty hyper at times and i just start acting really flirty, in a joking way. Well since this guy just met me, he probably thought I was serious, but everyone else knew that it's just how I am so didn't take me seriously. But ya, so I guess I got his attention one night and then he really started liking me. Within about 2 weeks of knowing him, he aked me to homecoming (I said yes) and my friend told me that he liked me (even though I didn't like him). After that, I acted really self-conscious in front of him; I made sure that I didn't get too hyper so that he wouldn't think that I was flirting w/ him. Sure enough, the next week he asked me out (I said no). Well I guess he was really depressed after that cuz one of my really good friends started talking w/ him a lot, and he talked about me a lot and was sad . But thats ok cuz they like fell in love after that and started going out . So I guess in a way I was like their little match-maker... lol not really. oh well

Well since I probably bored you to death w/ my little story, just know it's your own fault for reading it after seeing how long it was. Can you tell I'm a little bored too?

Have a nice day Erin

well its like that saying, beauty is only skin deep. some of those guys may not realize it now, but they'll figure it out sooner or later. hopefully before its TOO late. oh, and don't worry. it's all gonna blow up in her face.

I think its kind of pathetic because in the end looks fade then what have you got? A life full of regrets and nothing of substance. But I also think that if youve got it flaunt it. Besides if those guys are gaga eyed over her then they are the real loosers. Looks are nice but looks and a personality are the way to go!

I think that it is just plain wrong to go around using your looks or whatever just to get people to do things for you. If I have a boyfriend I will expect him to do something for me (help me carry bags or whatever) and I expect the same from my close guy friends just because they are all nice people and would help me if I needed it. I absolutly hate it when another girl hangs all over a guy just so she can get whatever she wants. That annoys me so much! If you want someone to do something for you...talk to them, become friends or whatever, and then ask them! Don't act like a .. just so you can get whatever!

yeah people manipulate each other to get what they want. recognizing this in yourself and others is a healthy step. then trying to change yourself. for me, "the one" will be the relationship were manipulation isn't a factor anymore.

mutual respect, admiration, and love is the key. MUTUAL!!!!! nothing gained or lost. only shared.

well i dont think that its wrong, but at the same time its not right. well whats wrong about it is that the manipulator could hurt someones really badly.
i dont know if this ac really be catagorized as a good thing, but i guess it give the person confidence. i guess its not really a good thing, i dont know what its is that i find to be right with it, i guess i just do

I noticed the "ends up", and (so far) I've not ended up lonely. My point was that it's not impossible to be single, or even without friends, and not feel lonely.

outspoken, notice when i said "end up" lol

Now, now, Avenger, I happen to be the manipulator, and I'm single now, have been for quite some time, and not once have I felt lonely. In fact, I rather like being single, not being committed to just one guy, being able to flirt around and be really quite natural in my self.

I must say though, when playing games, one must be careful, know what they're getting themselves into. It's never any fun to play mind games with someone who's better at your game than you are.

Me, I like to mess with 'em though, get nice and subconcious, psychological. I play with fire, just make sure I don't get burned too bad.

You can manipulate the opposite sex as long as you want, ill admit ive been manipulated before, and i have manipulated before. But in the end the "manipulator" Always ends up lonely.

Oooh, this is a cool subject. What do i use to *manipulate* the opposite sex? Or anyone for that matter...I am really a nerd, so that gives me more freedom to just go all out and be crazy, cuz no one minds. I have this really bizarre sarcastic sense of humor that really no one understands, except my family. Its a genetic trait. I also dress really weird sumtimes. you know, mess with people minds. Sometimes be all preppy, but i like to wear black skirts when I'm mourning an ex. I do really dramatic eye makeup which really ticks my mom off, and I have all this obscure knowledge tucked into me. Also, i sing a lot...just like, burst into song occasionally. LoL. But its not cool to lead people on and make them think that you like them and all. (you know whats really annoying? people that still think you like them even though you've told them over and over again that they are like the stuff that sticks to your shoe after walking around outside for 5 hours. that bugs me so bad...)I know some people that are like that, and all it does is hurt their friends. i know becuz people tell me things like that becuz I have no friends so i can never betray them or sumthing. that is the worst thing a person can do.

lots of love,
Lynne

Well, obviously. How many clichéd movie plotlines are there involving a 'geeky' girl getting a makeover and suddenly (shock horror!) she's a total babe and wins her dream guy.

Thinking some more on the manipulating thing, I won't lie and say I don't make an effort to look good because I do. But I don't obsess over it. I also think a girl worrying all the time about making a fool of herself or how she looks is much less attractive than a girl who doesn't give a d*amn and has a good time. I don't know what the male perspective is on this, but for me it goes the same for boys. It really puts me off if a boy is always worrying about how cool he is or what other people think of him. Who cares?

Bex:D

The coolest person in my year is called Seb. He wears really weird clothes, a different look every week. Anyway it's so funny watching some of the other boys trying to copy him. Seb comes in wearing a tie, suddenly ties are the new thing! Seb comes in with his hair spiked up in a particular way, and sure enough, those boys will be having that hairstyle too.
One day they'll have to realise they just look like LOSERS, because only Seb can really pull it off.
How you're percieved in high school has so much to do with image it's not even funny… Seb wasn't half so cool when he wore strict school uniform.
I wonder if people can manipulate the opposite sex simply by changing the way they look.

quote:

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Quoting post below: "…However, about the middle of his sophomore year, his parents bought him contacts and his older sister (a very snazzy dresser I might add), got him a new outfit. Boom! Instant popularity!"
That says a lot about the shallowness of high school.

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I dunno .. my high school's not like that. I got to leave that crap behind in middle school. Now that .... that was really bad.

Quoting post below: "…However, about the middle of his sophomore year, his parents bought him contacts and his older sister (a very snazzy dresser I might add), got him a new outfit. Boom! Instant popularity!"
That says a lot about the shallowness of high school.