I think it's wrong to manipulate others into thinking you like them when really they don't. I know the girl too (I'm bextherex's sister and we go to the same school) and she has never been unpopular as far as I know. She has always been pretty and girly. Interesting question Norrow. I tend to flaunt my sense of humour and generally become a lot more extrovert. I also dance a lot and go hyper. Not because I particularly think I'm a good dancer (although somebody told me the other day that I was! What an ego booster…) or that I think going hyper will make me look more attractive, but because I know it will entertain people and therefore charm them. It's clowning around I suppose… or just desperate attention-seeking behaviour. It used to embarrass bextherex (we hang around together a lot) but she tells me that now she has got so USED to me being embarrassing that she has become immune. Good, because I'm not changing.
Well, my own opinion is, fair enough if she wants to do that, but she doesn't seem to realise it could actually hurt peoples' feelings. Myself, if someone likes me and I don't like them my instinct is to discourage them. I wouldn't be cruel or put them down or anything, but I definitely wouldn't openly invite their attention if I had no intention of returning their feelings. It may be fun but when they find out you've just been leading them on don't expect them to be happy about it.
What do I use to gain popularity? I haven't really thought about that before. I'm not bad-looking but I don't think I'm as conscious of my looks as a lot of girls are, any kind of flirting doesn't come naturally to me at all. I guess I smile a lot and use my sense of humour to put people at ease, and treat people as if what they're saying is worth hearing. Not that interesting I guess… I just try to be friendly, funny and genuine.
I believe a lot of it depends on self image. Let me tell you a little story. There's this guy I know who looked really ugly in middle school. He had huge glasses and didn't really know how to dress. He was also a very intelligent and hard-working person. He made good grades. However, he was despised, not only for his physical appearance, but also for his intelligence and capabilities. All through his school years he was looked down upon, and the possibility of him going out with a girl was next to nil. No one understood him or liked his looks so no one dated him. However, about the middle of his sophomore year, his parents bought him contacts and his older sister (a very snazzy dresser I might add), got him a new outfit. Boom! Instant popularity! The boy learned to flirt in no time. However, he learned to be careful of who he flirted with and made sure that the girls he dated were not merely dating him for the popularity or good looks. The moral of the story? Much of the actions you make depend on your past and your frame of mind. Your friend may not have had this attention when she was younger so she may be trying to soak it up now. Just don't let it go to her head and she should straighten up. Mark
It's fun to reflect on our own personal equivalents to this girl's talents and gifts - I think that in a way, we're all guilty of flaunting our abilities to the amazement of all.
If you're a really funny comedian-class clown-type, you might keep cracking jokes when you yourself have stopped being interested, milking the reaction for all it's worth.
I am, in many ways, a trivia geek, and will keep telling people how a mouse has the same number of neck bones as a giraffe, or that Prohibition actually came into law during World War I because of beer's association with the Germans, etc, just because of people's oohs and ahs. ("Wow! I didn't know that!")
I think we all have a tale to tell on this subject. What are your attributes and skills that you find yourself bragging about and using to gain popularity?
The people who use their looks to manipulate the opposite sex have every right to. I know that when I talk to some guys they are lokking about 6 inches too far down. I feel that if the guys are going to notice then I could use it to my advantge. I would never take it too far. I dont lead guys on. I never give them the impression that I would actually go out with them or whatever, but if they're looking I just roll with it. I would never ever do this if my boyfriend was around though. That's just rude.
In my opinion, if you happen to have the looks/charm/whatever else that will attract that many people to you ... well, isn't it too easy to exploit that? How many of you have honestly never encouraged someone you weren't interested in, just because you were flattered that they were attracted to you? It seems like everyone who talks about this has a holier-than-thou attitude about it.
well, in her case it's cruel & self-serving... it depends on the person, i think. some people just do it to their opposite sex friends that they know it would grab their attention just a joke or for fun, while others just use it for other purposes...
i think if you are single it is ok to know your pretty but not to take it to extremes. i think its ok to flirt but not flaunt. there is a big difference. i do not think it is ok if you have a serious relationship. if you want to act like that then just date around. well thats just my opinion!!!!
there's nothing wrong with cashing in on your assets and structuring relationships as you see fit. if people are in awe of your intelligence/looks/humor/money, then go ahead and use it to your advantage if it pleases you. just don't be surprised if people eventually start to resent/hate you if you start abusing them.
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