yes i can relate to you. i've been depressed scince i was like 5 believe it or not. it basically all depends on ur childhood. my parents fought scince as far back as i can remember. and i remember hearing them yell at each other. i didn't know what they were yelling about i just knew they were yelling and that they were mad. for a while i thought it all was about me and that it was all my fault. just remember that is never true. it's never your fault. now i'm 15. i have severe depression and minor anxiety. i don't have any eating disorders and never have so i can't help u there all though i am underweight for my age. but w/the suicial thing now that i know about. not many people know this but i've come close to killing myself a few times there. and one time i would have done it had my friend not called at that very moment and i spilled everything to her. she came over right away and we both cried. if ur ever down or something it helps alot to talk to a trustworthy friend. really. just remember suicide is a sin and it's the last choice you could possible ever make. and what if it don't work? then what? i mean u could be messed up for life and who wants that? that's really all i have to say. just remember somebody out there loves you and they don't want u dead.

~steph

I have been suicidal since I was 8 years old. Believe it or not. That was when I 1st tried to kill myself. I am a cutter. I had an eating disorder. And I am gonna have 1 an eationg disorder again.

know how you feel. been depressed for four and a half years ever since an incident in my church. ive cut since, oh lets see, a couple years ago. tried to stop, but im just addicted to the pain. i think the most ive gone is two weeks and three days. was suicidal for about a month and a half. *sigh* it sucks, but the last thing i want is "help"

depressed wavemaster

looks like a lot of us have a lot in common. i'm a senior in high school, and i was annorexic my sophomore year in highschool. i've been depressed probably for about 8 years, and i also cut. i've been suicidal, and all that ****. it's not fun. i guess all my problems really hit me when my grandmother died three years ago. ever since then, life hasn't been the same, and a lil more difficult. i'll be 17 in september, and i'm bi, and at first, dealing with that was hard, but now...i'm all like...who the hell cares? but i started cutting about 3 years ago, just b/c my girlfriend at the time had done it, and i wanted to see what it was like. from that point on, i've used razor blades, knives, scissors, glass, pins, needles, keys, almost anything you can think of in order to cut myself. it's a hard addiction to break. i've always tried stopping...but it always comes back. i don't take medication b/c i tried oding on it one night, and it didn't go so well. that and it only made me feel ever more suicidal than i had to start with. i dunno...things happen, things change, sometimes, ya just can't deal.

u ppl r like 5 years older den me and i noe how u feel u probably dont belive me but yea i cut my self but jus enough to feel du pain i want to suicide but... iuno i jus cant do it

i was anorexic and bulimic, and now i guess i'd call myself ED-NOS. it sux. i've cut twice before, but never did it after that. at the time i wanted to die, and my life just sucked, i've suppose i've kind of gotten over it though, and in the past couple years i've learned to deal w/ me feelings in a different way, but by no means a better way...

i have cut before just to feel the pain....probably to help get all the pain out inside of me,but i stoped my brother started noticing and made me stop....he has helped me alot in things....we have both been through hard times we r very close well now that that lil mushy story is over .peace out!

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I was anorexic, then bulimic, then both, then anorexic again

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You can't be both. You're either anorexic or bulimic.

Anorexia is the loss of appetite especially over a long period of time.

Bulimia is an eating disorder that's characterized by compulsive overeating usually followed by self-induced vomiting.

Bottom line: you can't throw up what you don't eat

I was anorexic, then bulimic, then both, then anorexic again. That went on for a couple of years. Then I stopped all that and I was okay for a while. Next came freshman year at a highschool that was so wrong for me(I belong at and now attend a very small art school, this was an outrageously overcrowded BUSINESS school. I came from a tiny(20 ppl to a grade) middle school, so adjusting was hard.) I got depressed and that became a regular part of life for quite a while. It still is just a part of my life, but now it comes and goes.

I used to cut my wrists...I mean, never enough to kill myself or anything. I think I did it as a mix of trying to get help (you know, if people would notice) and being bored becasue I was grounded from everything for 4 or 5 months (music, friends, phone, comp...I failed one class...). Now, when I'm just feeling rebellious I'll carve a letter or somthing into my hip...but not so anyone will see. Just becasue I can. It's stupid, I know...but hey, it's what I do.

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most ppl who cut are just looking for a way around the pain.

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Actually, most people who cut are just trying to express and feel their pain.

Muhahaha....sorry I've been depressed before...and..do get alot. I've cut before..but've stopped because of my family and friends... i realised that it was hurting them, and i love them, so i stopped.. so ya..that was my corny little story

what the hell was i thinking adding "lol" to the end of that? i just realized how cruel that sorta sounded...sorry

if you go to NOISEboards -> In your face and at school (or w/e that topic is) -> teen-suicide by SoftballLauren (its at the bottom of the list there on the first page), you can go under my name and see what im facing right now...so, there's no need to explain it again in the post here. but, for the ppl reading it now, all and all, i am suicidal, do have a plan, do cut (to practice for the method), etc. and i know 2 other ppl who have attempted suicide cutting their wrists (anyone who's researched this knows that this method for suicide is almost like a myth...something to do w/ the veins and arteries). Or, let's just say, i've MET 2 other ppl like me (i haven't attempted yet, though)...but, i can't believe how many teens i've read off from this site who have problems like me, are depressed, or have eating disorders...this is incredible! no wonder shrinks make such a huge thing out of this! nice not to feel so alone, but omg - it's almost scary! lol

she's not saying that at all. most ppl who cut are just looking for a way around the pain.

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I am very suicidal.. i cut myself.. but i still eat. i guess. yea..

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So you consider yourself suicidal because you cut?

Name anything self destructive, and I've probably done it.

Oh, there goes another thing on my wall of accomplishments.

Used to be depressed, I just kinda like dug myself outta it though- no drugs taken.

I am very suicidal.. i cut myself.. but i still eat. i guess. yea..

-Skate

[ insanegothperson] aol sn

bleh... oops, i think i misread your post earlier, i was thinking that it said, "if i didn't have a fast metabolism, i wouldn't be anorexic"....duh....i guess that's not what it said. sorry but then again thanks for clearing me up! (haven't been around for a while either, been really busy)
kisses and blesses,
e.k.