Flute and Death
I drink my poison and I pray
For it to strike while I still play
As now I take my silver flute
And play a sad deathcalling tune

No one is there to hear me play
No one found me this rainy day
My fingers on the silver body
My lips kissing her silver head
My flute, the only one to love me
Will stay with me until I'm dead

Iam still playing yet I hold my breath
Because the poison strikes and I see death
The last note echoes through the hall
As its vibrato carries up my soul...

quote:

Originally posted by ShadowCaller:
Flute and Death
I drink my poison and I pray
For it to strike while I still play
As now I take my silver flute
And play a sad deathcalling tune

No one is there to hear me play
No one found me this rainy day
My fingers on the silver body
My lips kissing her silver head
My flute, the only one to love me
Will stay with me until I'm dead

Iam still playing yet I hold my breath
Because the poison strikes and I see death
The last note echoes through the hall
As its vibrato carries up my soul...

wow, that's deep

awesome poem. i play the flute. it is the key for me into another world. i never noticed how much I lost myself when I played. i played my entire show music and did not know I was being recorded. the next week my band director calls me up to his office and tells me that I had improved and that i knocked out three juniors a senior and two sophopmores for our chair test. I didn't know what he was talking about. turns out my friend had the door open when i was playing and recorded it and subimtted it on the computer under my name and thus my director heard me. so i feel a connection with this poem only thing is someone was there to hear me play.

come on people.. ur acting like fucking mental help doctors. depression is normal. no problem w darkness. all the poems i write always sound like im going off the deep end.. ha.. anyways, shadow caller, - AWESOME poem. very well written, and i love the way u describe the flute. fucking A!

quote:

---

Originally posted by ShadowCaller:
I can be 'sort of' depressed.
I am sad, etc. but I can still move around and do stuff, etc.

And I'm not sure I want to get relieved from this all so I'm not going to write any stories :P I'm satisfied as is.

---

Sorry, I was just assuming you were trying to solve a problem through your poetry instead of just merely expressing yourself. That's fine too, I guess I am too indoctrinated into the societal propensity toward analyzation so that I speak (or type) before I consider all the options. I didn't mean to sound pushy or preachy, just assumed that in your admission of depression there was a desire to alleviate it. Pardon my misinterpretation.
Poem's good though. The musical resonance within the text is very strong and poignant.

I can be 'sort of' depressed.
I am sad, etc. but I can still move around and do stuff, etc.

And I'm not sure I want to get relieved from this all so I'm not going to write any stories :P I'm satisfied as is.

No, keep sticking to whatever you want to write. Make sure you save them though, when i was in that "spell" i went back to read them and i'm fine now, they made me cry! but in a good way, because that wasn't me. Seriously, keep 'em.

Try writing depressing stories instead. I found that when I wrote depressing poems I just got more depressed, but when I wrote depressing stories it alleviated some of the depression. Of course, this is only applicable if you're looking for a cathartic experience. If you don't really want to relieve any of the depression or if poetry does work for you than at least I've wasted everyone's time with a long post.
I think it would be cool set to music.

I like it...it's really pretty, yet scary.

Scary, It reminds me of avril lavigne. Man, you're icon scares me!

Also, how can you be "sort of" depressed? You either are depressed or you're not.

Too commonplace and predictable.

well, I'm depressed... sort of.

however, I wanted some opinion about my poem

I skimmed through it and all I have to ask is-are you depressed or something?