Here's another one:

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You're falling in a hole
a dark dark tunnel
your body is no longer
your soul and mind
twist and turn
until where sky and land once were
there is only darkness.
In this long journey
you think about the past
remembering all the good things
the good things that never last
a tear slips...although you're
neverquite sure if it came from
your eye or your heart
you cannot see it fall
but you hear a splash.
the hole has a bottom.
a reason. a moral. an end.
when you reach it, you've changed.
and the light reveals a new being.

thanks for all the great feedback everyone and hope you like this one too!i like the first one better, personally but whatever.

i'm not great with poetry, but that provoked a feeling of loneliness and emptyness and longing and other sad junk like that (you can just see how articulate i am), so if thats what you were going for then bravo!

I like it, but I'm not a big fan of the spacing. However, that's just my taste/preference. You have your own.

That is really good and deep. Do you have any other poetry? I would really like to read more

thanks!

holy sit your good! i like it. its got a very sad undertone to it. keep on writing!