In the Dark

Do you see me?
I don't see anything at all, but your heart shines through the dark.
I feel your presence, though you are invisible.
The warmth of your visage leaks through the dark prison in which we both are trapped.
Do you feel me?
My cold heart would only deepen a wound, would only comfort a devil, so you could not.
Do you hear me?
I wonder if you can. I can hear a lone violin in the far off distance. I wonder if it is you. Could it be?
The lights are on. You are now everything, I am now nothing.

Where has Ikki gone?

I just noticed i haven't seen her in a while.

Chaos I as a reader could feel the beat of your poem as I was reading it. In response to what Brehon said, you should write what you know about. If you force say, a happy poem it would not be as good. If you let the words flow through your soul ,and to world it can touch others much deeper. Even if it is a bit sad.

wow *stands as the amature poet he is blown away*

chaos, that is excellent! I prefer the "Untitled" to "In the Dark" personally, because it just flows. The "In the Dark" does, as well, but "Untitled" fits my tastes more. I love the spacing, actually. It adds personality. Like everyone else has said, you have tons of potential. I'd love to read more of your poetry.

do u think my poem is good? please tell! give it a rating from 1 to 5 as 1 being the worst and 5 being the best. please be honast with me!

WASTED
Her life is wasted
Its loosing its color
What will be next
She will soon discover
She doesnt know whats going on
Her life is wasted
It will soon be gone

Please tell me what you think of this as soon as possible! Thank You.

thanks so much brehon but i dont know if i really have any happy ones!! the sad ones just go deeper for me.

That was excellent. You made it sound very vived and real life. You are talented. Keep it up.

I think that your poetry is fantastic! You are cleqarly a talented poet!

Why however, is all the poetry on this page sad or depressing? Although i feel that you capture the esscence of greif and sadness in these poems, a poet should have a wide spectrum of views. Please post more poetry on this site!

thanks! if you want you can read my other poems on the improv poems post.

that was a good poem, chaos

Nothingness resembles pain,
Happiness in the past.

The joy that recently was;
Wounds with contrast.

wow...I like it, this is good.

www.allpoetry.com/poets/shadow_aelf

My stuff if you wanted to look, chaos. They're pretty good I daresay.

thanks for all the feedback!

chaos, love the "entitled" one. shows you have depth. keep writing. kudos~

everyone check out my poll in pop culture and the media! i also havea poem about inner beauty that i will post once the results of the poll have been counted!

Thanks so much everyone and if you have any of your poetry, i would love to see it!!

Oh, **** this is awesome. God, I've been writing poetry for what my whole life now, and I don't think I have five poems with description that good.

Okay, critique techs now.

Your description is flawless. Even though this borders on prose, I can feel what you are feeling and the sentences don't take away from the poem at all.

The queston bursts were very well placed and added an awesome (inspiring) effect to your work.

The only flaw I could see is that it was short, but that is rarely a flaw, and it's a minor one in this. If you could have kept it going, exactly as you had, it would have been one awe-inspiring piece.

Wonderful poem; you have potential to be a great great poet. (keep writing)

Nicely done, Chaos. Very nice.