quote:

So what you're saying Ohiosweetgirl, is that the ONLY type of people that knows how to enjoy good poetry is someone who writes them as well? I competely disagree. I do believe that the general public do not spent a great deal on writing poetry, and yet the poems that have been published are enjoyed by those general public. You do not need to attack someone just because they make a comment on your poem.

You completely misunderstood everything that I said. I meant that alot of poems may seem simple but it's a way of expressing ourselfs and that is unique because they are our own work.None of here are professionals or even plan on becoming professionals. They write how they feel, and there is nothing simple about that. That is why I asked Dyingrose to post one by someone that isn't professional and see how "simply" it is.

Does anyone else think that DyingRose and JustSoSweet are one in the same? *shrugs* maybe it's just me.

I know my poetry sucks, I use it for ranting purposes. So, yes, it's going to sound like I'm complaining.

I WANT feedback. I get sick and tired of people givng me the comments 'It's good' over and over again. If you look on Allpoetry, below every poem I put 'Give me honest feedback. Good or bad.'
-Sunset

quote:

Originally posted by depressedwavemaster:
DYINGROSE:
Sunset's poems are her own style, good freeverse in my opinion.

Sometimes poems are good to be simple. Are you saying Emily Dickenson isn't a good poet? She's wonderful! Such the simple thing of a fly stopping to rest upon her dead body. Simple and yet so complex.

JAMAICA:
Thanks. I wrote that saturday.

quote:

Originally posted by Ohiosweetgirl:
Uh no she don't. Her poetry is good. Do you have any poetry? Because I have feeling that if you do, it won't be any better.

Uh ok, I have to say something..I can not stand this. Look, DyingRose was ONLY expressing her opinion on Sunset's poetry. You do not have to become ALL defensive about her poem. Because I completely agree on DyingRose. So what you're saying Ohiosweetgirl, is that the ONLY type of people that knows how to enjoy good poetry is someone who writes them as well? I competely disagree. I do believe that the general public do not spent a great deal on writing poetry, and yet the poems that have been published are enjoyed by those general public. You do not need to attack someone just because they make a comment on your poem. Like I have said before, you people ONLY enjoy mushy gushy compliments and not the ones that can help you improve your poems. Well guess what, just like a spoiled child, you need to learn that the real world is harsh and does not bask you in compliments. Lots of good poets receive criticisms, but they know that their poems are the best when those criticisms cease to exist. As for your Wavemaster, I think DyingRose meant that the words chosen along with imagery is way too simple in Sunset's poem...not the topic itself. Yes Dickenson did write "simple" poems, but they are on "simple" topics and not by using simple imagery and vocabulary. Many of her short and "simple" poems give off STRONG and POWERFUL meanings as well as imagery. As for Sunset's poem, all she did with her poem is TELL the readers ABOUT herself...a good poet does not tell but they SHOW the readers. Sunset's poetry just sounds like a whole bunch of whining and regretting about her life...sorry but it's the hard cold truth. Work on your poetry...because your style immitates that of a 5th grader and below.

quote:

No, I don't. I didn't say I could write. Her poems lack creativity. They're too simple.

Boohooo. That hurt, really.

Thank you, Wavemaster and Ohio.
-Sunset

DYINGROSE:
Sunset's poems are her own style, good freeverse in my opinion.

Sometimes poems are good to be simple. Are you saying Emily Dickenson isn't a good poet? She's wonderful! Such the simple thing of a fly stopping to rest upon her dead body. Simple and yet so complex.

JAMAICA:
Thanks. I wrote that saturday.

wavemaster, I adore your poem, "white ships"

Can you post a poem (written by a someone that isnt professional or famously known) that isn't "simple" please?

Personal opinion. Her poems are too simple.

If you don't write than how do you know what it takes? Showing any emotion in any way does not lack creativity.

No, I don't. I didn't say I could write. Her poems lack creativity. They're too simple.

Uh no she don't. Her poetry is good. Do you have any poetry? Because I have feeling that if you do, it won't be any better.

Sunset, you need to work on your poetry.

Wavemaster, your poems are wonderful.

Interpret as you wish. It isnt supposed to be gibberish.. there really was some thought behind it, although it may be hard to see...
Perhaps it isnt poetry at all.
Or is it? Who knows.

Succeeding Steps of Dismal Gray
The world is united
United in my defeat
Defeat of none but me
Mediocre standards are none
None can be trusted with..
Withhold the cruelty, but don’t pass the dressing
Dressing for no occasion
Occasionally succeeding
Succeeding steps of dismal gray.

nice gusy compliments? No. There's a difference between critiquing and being utterly cruel. You did it in such a way where I went in my room after and questioned everything. "Sweet," do you know what I would have done if we had a gun in our house? I'm in a fragile existance right now. Anything could push me over the edge, and I'm an introvert, and that's not good. Curb your words and figure out how to say it nicely at the very least.

And to everyone, I go by WAVEMASTER!!!!!! DWM is the stupidest thing I've ever heard and I've said nothing for these years. Shut up with the dwm! Why do you think my signature says Wavemaster in it?????

"Sweet," if it was confusing to you, than it is probably because I use metaphor and symbol alongside literal description. I am soo very sorry.

And it didn't flow because I write how I would read it, and obviously you don't read poems with the same rythem I do.



White Ships

I can't seem to cry
For this emptiness inside,
It's beyond words can say
I dream of home,
Of trees who sing,
And of never-ending day

The tears won't fall,
To hear my Home's silent call,
And I hear them in my dreams
I close my eyes
Against the day,
And fly on silver wings

My hand reaches far,
To touch the soft sweet breath,
And hear whispered a slow sad song,
And the moon shines on me,
Yet I reach for the branches,
And slowly there is no dawn

My eyes are opened,
To behold the truth,
I'm in reality once again
Yet my soul yearns to be
Content in the forest,
The forest who never ends

*Ikki's Random Poem*
Shala, Shala
She calls through the window
And, admist great beauty
Calls out a terrifying roar:
"You are not who you are
Nor who you hve become
The tide is changing
And the sun has lost its rays
Its gentle, comforting touch"
Nothing is the same
As the roar fades away
It's been left--
Like ashes we are
Dying is inevitable

*If you can understand that, please tell me what the heck it's about. I'd really appreciate it.*

JUST SO SWEET:

An explanation on my poetry

on A Day In The Orchard
"The sun was shining" Well, it was
"And the glittering rays" It was description?
"The apple trees" POETRY IS POETRY. IT DOES NOT NEED PUNCTUATION! IT IS A ****ING ART FORM, MORON!
"Freeze in fear, in cold" The sunlight shone on my sleeve and made my heart freeze in cold. It's a ****ing metaphor.
"Through the whispering trees" is everything descriptive cliche?
"Accross your soul free" Do you have any creativity in you? Her soul was free! Not confined? Not entraped? She is a wild creature!
"I could share" Yes, share in her beauty. I say it how I like.
"The darkness moved" The darkness came from shadows. We're in a copse of trees. Sunlight. Shadows. No, the sunlight shone through everything and there's no shadow!
"Away through the trees" Poems aren't always meant to be taken literally. through the trees does not mean THROUGH the tree itself, but through the copse of trees.
"Your beauty fey" should be nothing. There's an and after that. And really, it's a poem, and it does not need direct punctuation.
"And in the glittering light" Again, description.
"In your eyes that see" Sometimes stating the obvious helps reinforce that she is real.
"To me today" of course it's blunt. I love her.

On Repetition: Repetition is a poetic element
On Punctuation: Punctuation is not required in a poem

Do you not like me or something? I don't usually write love poems, but I think I love this girl. These are my thoughts, and they are new thoughts. Who are you to correct my punctuation? My descriptions? She would love it. I wrote it for her.

quote:

I completely agree with you. However, sometimes there are just some places that need punctuation not because the author left it out purposely but had forgotten.

I left out punctuation on purpouse. I think about everything in my poems. I leave out puncuation or add punctuation on purpouse. I do not ignore anything.

I am actually deeply hurt by all of this.

SUNSET:
Thank you.

JENOS:
Thank you.

Thank you root, I plan on typing out my other poem tomorrow, I am not in the mood right now.

Dickinsen is quite an amazing poet.

In the popular opinion of learnéd, erudite individuals; hence why Dickinson, Yeats, and William Carlos Williams are so cherished.

quote:

The best poems are simplistic in nature but analytically comprehensive:

In your opinion.
-Sunset