We didn't even see it coming, but then, no one looked....

Being at home was just more than I could take. The yelling was burning my ears. It ate me alive. I needed to escape. So I walked out the front door. I could hear Mom yelling behind me. "Don't go Beth! It will only make things worse."
But I didn't listen.
The sun was setting, there was an ever so slight breeze. Nights like these made me feel so free, even if only for a little while.
Perry was standing outside of his house, cigarette in hand. My boyfriend, Ryan, stood nearby talking to Derek, my best friend since the third grade. I grinned when Derek took off his shoe and smelled it, because he was so strange and random, no one thought anything of it. If there was somewhere I could go to forget about all the yelling, all the pain, it was right here, with the people that made me whole. Soon, Jackie strolled up, and we had ourselves a little five person party. Perfect, enough people so that we could have fun, but not so much that the fun would go too far, or so we figured.
Perry pulled out a loaded bong. "wow!" I thought "It doesn't get much better than this"
An hour or so and three bowls later, we had a choice. Go home and call it a night, or jump in the car and find ourselves a party. I made the executive decision that we were going to prolong our fun. I wasn't ready to readmit myself into the hell hole called Home.
Perry drove, Jackie took shotgun, and the rest of us climbed in back. I sat in the middle. We drove about a mile when we approached the intersection. Perry stopped as expected. Then Ryan dropped his cigarette. He squealed and jerked, while the rest of us laughed hysterically. Then, Perry hit the gas. I suppose we all assumed the light had signaled us to go, but then again, we didn't look.
We were hit by a moving truck, to the passengers side. Our little Toyota never had a chance, and neither did we. The next thing I remember, I was pinned between my boyfriend and my best friend. Blood poured from Derek's head, down my arm. Neither one moved. I could hear Perry moaning from the passengers seat. I couldn't see Jackie. Later I learned she had somehow been ejected from the car. I guess anything is possible in a situation like ours.
Derek was killed immediately upon impact. Jackie was pronounced dead on the way to the hospital. And I held Ryan's hand when they turned off the life support three days later. The doctors say Perry will never walk again, but we haven't lost faith.
I survived, physically uninjured. Ryan and Derek's bodies had provided mine with a cushion. They took the impact.
They say that things happen when you least expect them too. I had gotten in the car trashed a dozen times before, and sometimes I questioned our ability to drive. But, this time, it never even crossed my mind. We just wanted to have fun. I just didn't want to hear the fighting anymore.
Well, now there are a lot of things I don't hear anymore. I don't hear Ryan tell me he loves me. I don't hear Derek tell jokes that no one understands but him. I don't hear Jackie laugh.
We were on top of the world and invincible, and then we weren't.
Now those fall nights, when the sun sets, and there is an ever so slight breeze....I feel nothing but alone and trapped inside my own head. The images of the ones I loved dead and dying against me, will follow me forever. Eating away at my soul; worse than any yelling ever did.

In Loving Memory of:
Jackie Cline 1987-2002
Derek Parker 1986-2002
Ryan Johnson 1984-2002