Whats up people its the one, the only Knighthammer and i want to know your favorite quotes from movies, books, songs, speeches or anywhere else so let em fly here a few of mine:

From "Dogma"
(Bartleby and Loki regroup after encountering Bethany, Rufus, and the "prophets" on a train.)
Loki: The apostle is here!
Bartleby: I noticed!
Loki: Well, then you know who the chick with him was, don't you?
Bartleby: The LAST SCION, I imagine!
Loki: Shit, man, look, maybe we should rethink this whole thing. I mean, I mean you heard the guy — he said there are "consequences"? And Azrael tells us we're marked? Look, man, there is more to this than we thought about.
Bartleby: I was close, you know? I was so close to slitting that bitch's throat.
Loki: Whoa.
Bartleby: You know how I felt? Righteous. Justified. Eager, even.
Loki: Are you all right, man? Your eyes are kind of —
Bartleby: My eyes are open. For the first time, I get it. When that little innocent girl let her mission slip, I had an epiphany. See, in the beginning, it was just us and Him - angels and God. Then, He created humans. Ours was designed to be a life of servitude and worship and bowing and scraping and adoration. He gave them more than He ever gave us. He gave them a choice. They choose to acknowledge God, or choose to ignore Him. All this time we've been down here, I've felt the absence of the Divine Presence, and it's pained me, as I'm sure it must have pained you. And why? Because of the way He made us! Had we been given free will, we could choose to ignore the pain, like they do. But no! We're servants!
Loki: Okay... You know, all I'm saying here is that one of us might need a little nap.
Bartleby: Wake up! These humans have besmirched everything He's bestowed upon them. They were given paradise — they threw it away. They were given this planet — they destroyed it. They were favored best among all His endeavors, and some of them don't even believe He exists! And in spite of it all, He has shown them infinite fucking patience at every turn. What about us? I asked you, once, to lay down the sword because I felt sorry for them. What was the result? Our expulsion from Paradise. Where was His infinite fucking patience then? It's not right! It's not FAIR! We've paid our debt. Don't you think it's time? Don't you think it's time we went home? (a pause) And to do that, I... I think we might have to dispatch our would-be dispatchers.
Loki:Wait. Wait-wait. You mean kill them? You're talking about the last scion, for Christ's sake. And what about Jay and Bob? I mean, those guys were all right.
Bartleby: Don't. See, don't let your sympathies get the best of you, they did me once. Scion or not, she's still just a human, and by passing through that arch, our sins are forgiven, no harm, no foul.
Loki: My God... I've heard a rant like this before.
Bartleby: What did you say?
Loki: I said I've heard a rant like this before.
Bartleby: Don't you fucking do that to me!
Loki: You sound like the Morningstar.
Bartleby: You shut your fucking mouth!
Loki: You DO! You sound like Lucifer, man! You've fucking lost it! You're not talking about going home, Bartleby. You're talking about fucking war on God! Well, fuck that. I have seen what happens to the proud when they take on the Throne. I'm going back to Wisconsin.
(Loki tries to leave; Bartleby catches him by the lapels and slams him into a pillar.)
Bartleby: We're going home, Loki. And no one — not you, not even the Almighty Himself — is gonna make that otherwise.

From "Star Wars"

"For over a thousand generations, the Jedi Knights were the guardians of peace and justice in the Old Republic. Before the dark times, before the Empire." - Obi-wan Kenobi

Han Solo: Han Solo. I'm captain of the Millennium Falcon. Chewie here tells me you're lookin' for passage to the Alderaan system?
Obi-Wan: Yes indeed, if it's a fast ship.
Han Solo: Fast ship? You've never heard of the Millennium Falcon?

Well enough of that

Watership Down:

Black Rabbit: Hazel... Hazel... you know me, don't you?
Hazel: I don't know.
[the apparition reveals himself to be the Black Rabbit, and Hazel gasps]
Hazel: Yes, my lord. I know you.
Black Rabbit: I've come to ask if you'd like to join my Owsla. We shall be glad to have you, and I know you'd like it. You've been feeling tired, haven't you? If you're ready, we might go along now.
[Hazel looks at all the younger rabbits of Watership Down]
Black Rabbit: You needn't worry about them. They'll be all right, and thousands like them. If you come along now, I'll show you what I mean.

*sniff* That part always makes me cry.

quote:

National Treasure
Ben Gates: A toast? Yeah. To high treason. That's what these men were committing when they signed the Declaration. Had we lost the war, they would have been hanged, beheaded, drawn and quartered, and-Oh! Oh, my personal favorite-and had their entrails cut out and *burned*!
[brief pause]
Ben Gates: So... Here's to the men who did what was considered wrong, in order to do what they knew was right...
[nodding]
Ben Gates: what they knew was right.

Ben Gates: Of all the ideas that became the United States, there's a line here that's at the heart of all the others. "But when a long train of abuses and usurpations, pursuing invariably the same Object evinces a design to reduce them under absolute Despotism, it is their right, it is their duty, to throw off such Government, and provide new Guards for their future security."

quote:

Hatebreed
"Final Prayer"
Final prayer
Final prayer for the human race we know our time is running out
Millions of people will suffer and die by the hands of those in power
Final prayer
Final prayer for the human race
You must bow to your knees and repent for the human race

"We Still Fight"
How do you justify (you have no right)
The way you disgrace those who gave their lives
And how do you justify (you have no right)
The way you disrespect those who's loved ones died

This is dedicated to all those who gave their lives to uphold their beliefs
Not to those who try to demean their sacrifices
You have no right.

For those who fought for our rights & for those who gave their lives.
And for the families who's loved ones died.
Its their honor for which we still fight.

quote:

Paradise Lost
Better to reign in Hell, then serve in Heav'n

I felt I should print this in full.

quote:

The Hacker Manifesto

by
+++The Mentor+++
Written January 8, 1986

Another one got caught today, it's all over the papers. "Teenager Arrested in Computer Crime Scandal", "Hacker Arrested after Bank Tampering"...

Damn kids. They're all alike.

But did you, in your three-piece psychology and 1950's technobrain, ever take a look behind the eyes of the hacker? Did you ever wonder what made him tick, what forces shaped him, what may have molded him?

I am a hacker, enter my world...

Mine is a world that begins with school... I'm smarter than most of the other kids, this crap they teach us bores me...

Damn underachiever. They're all alike.

I'm in junior high or high school. I've listened to teachers explain for the fifteenth time how to reduce a fraction. I understand it. "No, Ms. Smith, I didn't show my work. I did it in my head..."

Damn kid. Probably copied it. They're all alike.

I made a discovery today. I found a computer. Wait a second, this is cool. It does what I want it to. If it makes a mistake, it's because I screwed it up. Not because it doesn't like me... Or feels threatened by me.. Or thinks I'm a smart ass.. Or doesn't like teaching and shouldn't be here...

Damn kid. All he does is play games. They're all alike.

And then it happened... a door opened to a world... rushing through the phone line like heroin through an addict's veins, an electronic pulse is sent out, a refuge from the day-to-day incompetencies is sought... a board is found. "This is it... this is where I belong..." I know everyone here... even if I've never met them, never talked to them, may never hear from them again... I know you all...

Damn kid. Tying up the phone line again. They're all alike...

You bet your ass we're all alike... we've been spoon-fed baby food at school when we hungered for steak... the bits of meat that you did let slip through were pre-chewed and tasteless. We've been dominated by sadists, or ignored by the apathetic. The few that had something to teach found us willing pupils, but those few are like drops of water in the desert.

This is our world now... the world of the electron and the switch, the beauty of the baud. We make use of a service already existing without paying for what could be dirt-cheap if it wasn't run by profiteering gluttons, and you call us criminals. We explore... and you call us criminals. We seek after knowledge... and you call us criminals. We exist without skin color, without nationality, without religious bias... and you call us criminals. You build atomic bombs, you wage wars, you murder, cheat, and lie to us and try to make us believe it's for our own good, yet we're the criminals.

Yes, I am a criminal. My crime is that of curiosity. My crime is that of judging people by what they say and think, not what they look like. My crime is that of outsmarting you, something that you will never forgive me for.

I am a hacker, and this is my manifesto. You may stop this individual, but you can't stop us all... after all, we're all alike.

From Clerks II:

Randal Graves: You're the one in the bestiality business.

Guy: Hey fucko! We like to call it inter-species erotica.

------------

Randal Graves: Alright look, there's only one return, okay, and it ain't "of the King," it's "of the Jedi."


Hobbit Lover: Oh, Star Wars geek.

Randal Graves: Oh, i'm the geek? Look at you two whipping out your preciouses.

Elias: You'll have to excuse him, he's not "down" with the trilogy.

Randal Graves: Oh, what the fuck happened to this world. There's only one trilogy you fucking morons.

Hobbit Lover: You know what, maybe we should start calling your friend Padme, 'cause he loves Manakin Skywalker so much, right?
[in robot voice]

Hobbit Lover: Danger danger, my name is Anakin my shitty acting is ruining saga.

Elias: [chucking] Yeah, you're crazy Jar-Jar.

Randal Graves: Oh, I'm crazy? Those fuckin' hobbit movies were boring as hell. All it was, was a bunch of people walking, three movies of people walking to a fucking volcano.

------------

Randal Graves: That look was so gay, I thought Sam was gonna tell the little Hobbits to go for a walk so he could saunter over to Frodo and suck his fucking cock. Now *that* would have been an Academy Award-worthy ending.

Hobbit Lover: Hey, faggot! They're not gay. They're hobbits.

Randal Graves: And then after the Froto and Sam suckfest, just before the credits roll, Sam straight up fucking bricks in Froto's mouth.

----------------

Randal Graves: Before he was the Mad Duckets guy, he was just Pickle Fucker. See, Freshman year the Seniors had something they called "Initiation". They'd stuff us into lockers or throw us naked into the girl's locker room, but Lance here got the worst of it. The Seniors pulled his pants down, shoved a pickle up his ass, and made him walk ten feet. If the pickle fell out before the ten foot mark, he'd have to take a bite out of it, re-insert it, and walk again.

Elias: [in awe] Ewwwwww...

Randal Graves: Don't worry. His pickle was small enough to stay wedged after only four bites.

Lance Dowds: I bet you're the only guy in the world who still remembers that, Graves.

Randal Graves: Oh, I'm sure you still remember it pretty vividly, Pickle Fucker.

--------------------

Randal Graves: I can't jerk off in the bathrooms at work! What if some customer sees me, gets all sex-nuts and retard-strong and tries to jam my dick in his mouth?

Dante Hicks: The likeliest of scenarios.

------------

Elias: That's bestiality, Randal!

Randal Graves: At it's finest, I hope.

Elias: Who would want to see something like that?

Randal Graves: Dante, me, YOU.

Elias: I don't want to see something like that! Why would you want to see something like that?

Randal Graves: Because it's fucked up! Besides, I want to know if a chick with a mouth full of donkey spunk swallows. Lemmie borrow your cell phone.

Elias: [nervously] Oh... 'cause... my mom said it's just for emergencies...

Randal Graves: Jesus. Look, you love Mr. Dante, right?

Elias: In a non-gay way...

From The Jerk:

Navin R. Johnson: Well I'm gonna to go then. And I don't need any of this. I don't need this stuff, and I don't need you. I don't need anything except this.
[picks up an ashtray]
Navin R. Johnson: And that's it and that's the only thing I need, is this. I don't need this or this. Just this ashtray. And this paddle game, the ashtray and the paddle game and that's all I need. And this remote control. The ashtray, the paddle game, and the remote control, and that's all I need. And these matches. The ashtray, and these matches, and the remote control and the paddle ball. And this lamp. The ashtray, this paddle game and the remote control and the lamp and that's all I need. And that's all I need too. I don't need one other thing, not one - I need this. The paddle game, and the chair, and the remote control, and the matches, for sure. And this. And that's all I need. The ashtray, the remote control, the paddle game, this magazine and the chair.
[walking outside]
Navin R. Johnson: And I don't need one other thing, except my dog.
[dog barks]
Navin R. Johnson: I don't need my dog.

---------------------------

a sniper keeps missing Navin and hitting cans of motor oil]
Navin R. Johnson: He hates these cans. Stay away from the cans.
---------------------------

[Navin recites some wisdom]
Navin R. Johnson: Lord loves a workin' man; don't trust whitey; see a doctor and get rid of it.

---------------------------------
Navin R. Johnson: The new phone book's here! The new phone book's here!
Harry Hartounian: Boy, I wish I could get that excited about nothing.
Navin R. Johnson: Nothing? Are you kidding? Page 73 - Johnson, Navin R.! I'm somebody now! Millions of people look at this book everyday! This is the kind of spontaneous publicity - your name in print - that makes people. I'm in print! Things are going to start happening to me now.
-----------------------------------
Mother: Navin, it's your birthday, and it's time you knew. You're not our natural-born child.
Navin R. Johnson: I'm not? You mean I'm gonna STAY this color? -
-------------------------

Navin R. Johnson: First I get my name in the phone book and now I'm on your ass. You know, I'll bet more people see that than the phone book.
--------------------------

Dogmas awesome isnt it? Clerks II is Kevin Smiths best movie though.

From Dogma

Serendipity: When are you people going to learn? It's not about who's right or wrong. No denomination's nailed it yet, and they never will because they're all too self-righteous to realize that it doesn't matter what you have faith in, just that you have faith. Your hearts are in the right place, but your brains need to wake up.

-----------------------

Rufus: The Voice!
Metatron: The Apostle!

-----------------------

Loki: Church laws are fallible because they're created by man.

------------------------

[about Christ]
Rufus: What He really hates is the shit that gets carried out in his name. Wars. Bigotry. Televangelism.

------------------------

Loki: Never let it be said that your anal-retentive attention to detail never yielded positive results.
Bartleby: You can't be anal-retentive if you don't have an anus.
Loki: Outstanding work.

-----------------------------------

Bethany: You knew Jesus?
Rufus: Knew him? Shit... Nigga owes me twelve bucks.

----------------------------------

Metatron: Tell a person that you're the Metatron and they stare at you blankly. Mention something out of a Charlton Heston movie and suddenly everybody is a theology scholar

------------------------------

Bethany: I don't want this, it's too big.
Metatron: That's what Jesus said. Yes, I had to tell him. And you can imagine how that hurt the Father - not to be able to tell the Son Himself because one word from His lips would destroy the boy's frail human form? So I was forced to deliver the news to a scared child who wanted nothing more than to play with other children. I had to tell this little boy that He was God's only Son, and that it meant a life of persecution and eventual crucifixion at the hands of the very people He came to enlighten and redeem. He begged me to take it back, as if I could. He begged me to make it all not true. And I'll let you in on something, Bethany, this is something I've never told anyone before... If I had the power, I would have.

------------------------------------

Rufus: You are the great great great GREAT great grand-niece of Jesus Christ.
Jay: So that would make Bethany... part black.

------------------------------------------

Bethany: Were they sent to Hell?
Metatron: Worse. Wisconsin. For the entire span of human history.

----------------------------------

Rufus: White folks only want to hear the good shit: life eternal, a place in God's Heaven. But as soon as they hear they're getting this good shit from a black Jesus, they freak. And that, my friends, is called hypocrisy. A black man can steal your stereo, but he can't be your Savior.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Rufus: In the three years I followed His ass around Jerusalem, did I ever get laid? Hell no. And I was in my prime. I could've been knee-deep in shepherd's daughters, not to mention fine-ass Mary Magdalene. She had a thing for dark meat, if you follow me.

Serendipity: I'm responsible for nineteen of the twenty top-grossing films of all time.
Bethany: Nineteen?
Serendipity: Yeah, the one about the kid, by himself in his house, burglars trying to get in and he fights them off? I had nothing to do with that one. Somebody sold their soul to Satan to get the grosses up on that piece of shit.

Bethany: You're saying that having beliefs is a bad thing?
Rufus: I think it's better to have ideas. You can change an idea. Changing a belief is trickier.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
[On Christ]
Rufus: The Man loved being human. Probably why He was so good at it

Bethany: Jesus didn't have any brothers or sisters. Mary was a virgin.
Rufus: Mary gave birth to CHRIST without having known a man's touch, that's true. But she did have a husband. And do you really think he'd have stayed married to her all those years if he wasn't getting laid? The nature of God and the Virgin Mary, those are leaps of faith. But to believe a married couple never got down? Well, that's just plain gullibility.

From Balckadder - sense and seniltity:
M: ..lest you continue in your quotations and mention the name of the
"Scottish Play".

K: Oh-ho... never fear, I shan't do that. (laughs)

E: By the "Scottish Play", I assume you mean *Macbeth*.

(The actors perform a ritual warding off of bad luck.)

As: Aahhhhh! (slapping each others hands, pat-a-cake fashion) Hot potato,
off his drawers, pluck to make amends. (pinch each others noses)
Aaahh!

E: What was that?

K: We were exorcising evil spirits. Being but a mere butler, you will not
know the great theatre tradition that one does *never* speak the name
of the "Scottish Play".

E: What, *Macbeth*?

As: Aahhhhh! Hot potato, off his drawers, pluck to make amends. Ohhh!

E: Good lord, you mean you have to do *that* every time I say *Macbeth*?

As: Aahhhhh! Hot potato, off his drawers, pluck to make amends. Owwww!

M: Will you please stop saying *that*! Always call it the "Scottish
Play".

E: So you want me to say the "Scottish Play"?

As: YES!!!

E: Rather than *Macbeth*?

As: Aahhhhh! Hot potato, off his drawers, pluck to make amends. Owwwwww!

(Prince George enters.)

PR: For heaven's sake, what is all this hullabaloo, all this shouting and
screaming and yelling blue murder? Why... it's like that play we saw
the other day, what was it called... umm..

E: *Macbeth*, sir?

As: Aahhhhh! Hot potato, off his drawers, pluck to make amends. Owwwwww!

PR: No, no, it was called Julius Caesar.

E: Ah yes, of course. Julius Caesar... not *Macbeth*.

As: Aahhhhh! Hot potato, off his drawers, pluck to make amends. Owwwwww!

E: Are you sure you want these people to stay?

and

E: They do say, Mrs. Miggins, that verbal insults hurt more than physical
pain. (holds up a three-pronged fork) They are, of course, wrong, as
you'll soon discover when I stick this toasting fork in your head.

From The reduced shakespeare company:
[Macbeth]
McDuff: Ach, see you, Jimmy! And know that McDuff was from his mother's womb untimely ripped - what do ye think aboot that, lad?
MacBeth: Ech! That's bloody disgustin'!

and

Gertrude: Oh no! I am poisoned!
[Gertrude proceeds to vomit over various audience members]

and

[Hamlet really REALLY fast]
Hamlet: Alaspooryorktherestissilence!


Hamlet: It is I, Omelette the Cheese Danish!

Austin Tichenor: And now, I'd like to help set the scene a little bit for what is quite possibly the greatest play ever written in the history of the English language... HAMLET! Prince of Denmark! The place... Denmark! The time... A very long time ago! Two guards on the battlements of the Castle Elsinore meet...
[Exits... Waits for the guards to go onstage]
Guard: [whining backstage] I don't wanna do this stupid play!

Pelonius: My Lord, Act Two!
Claudius: Gesundheit!

Marc Anthony: Meanwhile, Julius Caesar was a much beloved tyrant.
Romans: All hail Julius Caesar!
Marc Anthony: Who was warned by a sooth-sayer...
Sooth-Sayer: Beware the Ides of March!
Marc Anthony: ...But Caesar ignored the warning.
Julius Caesar: What the hell are the Ides of March?
Sooth Sayer: Well, that's the fifteenth of March.
Julius Caesar: Why, that's today!
[Marc Anthony and the Sooth Sayer stab Caesar repeatedly]

Father Laurence: Take of this vial and drink, and soon shalt thou feel a cold and drowsy humor running through thy veins.
[Juliet drinks from the vial]
Juliet: Oh, I feel a cold and drowsy humor running through my veins, Obi-Wan.
Father Laurence: Told you so.
Juliet: Gak! Cough! Gasp!
[Juliet proceeds to vomit over various audience members]
Cleopatra: Is this an asp I see before me? Oh no!
[Cleopatra proceeds to vomit over various audience members]

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Ophelia: Oh... Feeling a little nauseous...
[Ophelia proceeds to vomit over various audience members]

Adam, as Cleopatra, has begun "vomiting" on people]
Reed Martin: You've got this really bizarre notion that all of Shakespeare's tragic heroines wear these really ugly wigs, and vomit on people before they die!
Adam Long: It's an interpretation!



Reed Martin: Take the time now to locate the exit nearest your seat.
[makes gestures a la an airplane flight attendant pointing out the exits]
Reed Martin: If the room should experience a sudden change in pressure, oxygen masks will drop down in front of you. Place the mask over your mouth and nose and continue to breathe normally. If you're here with a small child, please place your own mask on first, and let the little bugger fend for himself.
[laughter]

Steve-Dave Pulasti: [at Brodie's Secret Stash] Boy, Walt. This store sure does suck ass, doesn't it?

Walt "Fanboy" Grover: Tell him, Steve-Dave.

Brodie: You're both banned.

Steve-Dave Pulasti: Holy Shit. Un-ban us. This guy'll suck your dick.

Brodie: I'm sure he will.

Walt "Fanboy" Grover: [Steve-Dave is forcing him onto his knees] NO!

quote:

Originally posted by NoiseInTheShadows:
Leia:You...stuck-up, half-witted, scruffy-looking...Nerf Herder!
Han: Who you callin scruffy-lookin?

(sorry if I didn't get Han's end right...)

Han: (Turns around and gives Leia a look.)"Whos scruffy lookin'?"

quote:

The Architect - The matrix is older than you know. I prefer counting from the emergence of one integral anomaly to the emergence of the next, in which case this is the sixth version.

Neo: There are only two possible explanations: either no one told me, or no one knows.

The Architect - Precisely. As you are undoubtedly gathering, the anomaly's systemic, creating fluctuations in even the most simplistic equations.

Neo - Choice. The problem is choice.

quote:

Deus Ex Machina: It is done.

quote:

Kreator - Enemy of God - Enemy of God
Shocked Orwellian races
Gather united in grief
Nothing is left from the World they have known
Grotesque indifferent belief
Systems have failed
Rules can't control
Corrupt dictators forever dethroned
Lies of the Priest
Trust of the Blind
Failure of structures manipulate deviant crimes

quote:

Lamb of God - Sacrament - Descending
This god that I worship (A faded reflection)
This demon I blame (A flickering flame)
Conspire as one, exactly the same
It's exactly the same

quote:

Dimmu Borgir - Death Cult Armageddon - Progenies of the Apocalypse
Are we not the undisputed prodigy of warfare
Fearing all the mediocrity that they possess
Should we not hunt the bastards down with our might
Reinforce and claim the throne that is rightfully ours

quote:

Dimmu Borgir - Death Cult Armageddon - Eradication Instincts Defined
You worthless piece of shit
May we all depart from this world
And dissolve into nothingness
Compassion will not be granted
When life's value
Is point below zero

quote:

DuPont: And you, Preston, the supposed savior of the resistance, are now its destroyer, and, along with them, you've given me yourself... calmly... coolly... entirely without incident.
John Preston: [Polygraph machine scribbling rapidly] No.
[Polygraph suddenly registers Preston completely in control]
Technician: Oh... Shit.
John Preston: Not without incident.

quote:

DuPont: Wait! Wait! Look at me. Look at me. I'm life. I live... I, I breathe... I feel. Now that you know it... can you really take it? Is it really worth the price?
[Preston sees a flash of Mary's face]
John Preston: I pay it gladly.

quote:

Tom Cronin: He's making his first mistake.
Nicky: It's not a mistake. They don't make mistakes. They don't do random. There's always an objective. Always a target.
Pamela Landy: The objectives and targets always came from us. Who's giving them to him now?
Nicky: Scary version? He is.

quote:

Jason Bourne: How could I forget about you? You're the only person I know.

I love that line when I talk to my girlfriend.

quote:

Jason Bourne: I don't want to do this anymore.
Conklin: I don't think that's a decision you can make.
Jason Bourne: Jason Bourne is dead, you hear me? He drowned two weeks ago. You're gonna go tell 'em that Jason Bourne is dead, you understand?
Conklin: Where are you gonna go?
Jason Bourne: I swear to God, if I even feel somebody behind me, there is no measure to how fast and how hard I will bring this fight to your doorstep. I'm on my own side now.

quote:

Soilwork - Natural Born Chaos - Follow the Hollow
take a look, take a ride, stay by my side
don't dare to think-let's FOLLOW THE HOLLOW
it kills your pride to be alive
please step a side, cause I FOLLOW THE HOLLOW!

quote:

Dark Tranquility - Damage Done - The Treason Wall
Let me nail you to the treason wall
Stab the night and the day from your sight
And set the thought to flame

I love dogma

John: The Voice!
The Voice: The Apostle!
and so forth

"You deserve each other...this hat and you."

From "Dancing Through Life" (Wicked).

It made me laugh so much...although not terribly funny out of context...

Leia:You...stuck-up, half-witted, scruffy-looking...Nerf Herder!
Han: Who you callin scruffy-lookin?

(sorry if I didn't get Han's end right...)

From Fight Club


Tyler Durden: We are all part of the same compost heap

..............


Narrator: Clean food, please.
Waiter: In that case, sir, may I advise against the lady eating clam chowder?
Narrator: No clam chowder, thank you

....................

Narrator: You're insane.
Tyler Durden: No, you're insane.

....................

Tyler Durden: This is your life and it's ending one minute at a time.

....................

[Tyler points a gun into the Narrator's mouth]
Narrator: [voiceover] People are always asking me if I know Tyler Durden.
Tyler Durden: Three minutes. This is it - ground zero. Would you like to say a few words to mark the occasion?
Narrator: ...i... ann... iinn... ff... nnyin...
Narrator: [voiceover] With a gun barrel between your teeth, you speak only in vowels.
[Tyler removes the gun from the Narrator's mouth]
Narrator: I can't think of anything.
Narrator: [voiceover] For a second I totally forgot about Tyler's whole controlled demolition thing and I wonder how clean that gun is.
.....................

And i can't remeber if this next one was in the movie or just the book

Tyler: Your not your fucking Kakis

"The first time I saw the man who would save the world he was sitting near the central well in Nazereth with a Lizzard hanging out of his mouth"

From "Lamb: The Gospel According to Biff, Christ's Childhood Pal" By Christopher Moore

This is probably one of the best and funniest books i have ever read.